Le Ascension de Mysterion
by Usarosuji
Summary: When four boys from a small town in Colorado are forced on a week long trip to Paris by their progressive teacher, you know something's about to go down. Rated T for language, sexual themes, and violence.
1. Chapter One

_**Author's Note: The characters are obviously aged up to around the same age that Marinette and Adrien are, so around 13-15? Also, if you can, please leave anything constructive in your review! Any critique is helpful! If you're looking for some sort of reference for The Boys, here's one I made a while ago:**_ ** _art/The-Boys-as-Freshmen-728438772_**

 _ **Le Ascension de Mysterion**_

 **Une fanfiction de** _**Miraculous Ladybug**_ **et** _ **South Park**_

It was the beginning of a new day in Paris, a Monday to be exact. The skyline etched with the Eiffel Tower, whose lights were beginning to dim as windows are opened to bring in the fresh air. On top of a bakery in the 21st arrondissement, we see Marinette just beginning to wake up and bolt straight out of bed.

"Tikki! I'm late!" She ran towards her closet and threw on an outfit, "I'm going to be in more trouble then I've ever been!"

"Marinette, stop!" Marinette halted before she could crash into a mannequin. "It's only 7:15. You're not going to be late! Is, is there anything going on?"

"I-I don't know either, can you check my calendar?"

Tikki flew to the calendar on her little white desk. "Nothing."

"Oh, thank goodness! If we had a surprise party I would've been screwed! Thankfully I don't have to force my dad to make anything."

The spotted kwami laughed. "That's... pretty specific. Were you going to do that to woo Adrien again?"

Marinette stopped. "We don't talk about that!" She looked at the clock, "Get in," she opened her purse pocket, "I don't want to be late again."

 _Collège Françoise Dupont_

Marinette stormed through the doors of Miss. Bustier's classroom and plopped herself in her seat.

Alya was already sitting. "Wow, Marinette! You're actually not late for once!"

"Early? I'm always early! Well, somewhat."

"There must've been some black magic that made you come this early. At least your earlier than _Chloé_." Alya said her name as if she had tasted something bitter.

Marinette looked the empty seat across from her. "Where's Adrien?"

"You're just early! It's not like Chloé kidnapped him or-" All of a sudden _ **,**_ the room went silent when Chloé entered with Sabine carrying all of her bags. She shot a glare at the both of them, and walked to her seat. "Nevermind."

Then Adrien walked in, in his usual fashion. "There's your loverboy."

—

"Alright, class. I have a special announcement." Miss. Bustier walked towards the center of the class. "Our school has been given a special opportunity this month to welcome some new students from America, who have come with their entire class!"

Nino looked surprised, and glanced at Adrien. "America? Like, where all the rich famous people are from! Awesome! Maybe we're gonna get some actors!"

"Nino, I don't think they'd like this place if they got to choose."

"So we'd love to give a big, warm welcome to our new students for the week!" The door opened, and in walked four boys.

In her sight, Chloé scoffed. "Someone should've given them some tips in fashion when they came here."

Miss Bustier ignored the comment and turned to the boys. "So, who'd like to introduce themselves first?"

One of the boys, who had jet black hair and a blue and red hat went first. "Umm, I guess I'll do it. I'm Stan Marsh. My friend with the green hat's named Kyle Broflovski. He's a pretty great guy. Then there's Eric Cartman, the fatass standing next to him-"

"I'm not fat, I'm big boned, you dipshit!"

"Cartman!" Kyle retorted.

"Oh, right," in a fictitious pouty voice, "Sorry for my foul language, Madame. I promise to never do it again."

Adrien looked at Nino and whispered. "If my Dad ever saw these kids, he'd ban me from every school in the province."

"And there's Kenny McCormick. He doesn't talk much." Stan pointed at a boy in the orange parka, with his hood up and his mouth covered.

Alya looked closer ah Kenny. "Marinette! That Kenny kid looks just like Adrien! Same hair and everything! That's so weird!"

"You _really_ think that? Alya, are you blind? T-they look nothing alike!" Marinette pouted.

"Girl, I've got 20/20 vision with these specs. If that vulture sweeps for him you know who to go to. He doesn't even look that bad either."

Miss Bustier glanced at the desks at the right, "Looks like Ivan isn't back. You boys can sit behind Alya and Marinette for now. I promise they don't bite."

The group walked up.

Kyle muttered. "Whatever happens, I'm not sitting next to Cartman."

"You can sit next to me, Kyle." Stan walked to the desk at the far back.

As they got to their seats, Cartman whispered to Kenny, "Thank God I don't have to sit next to the Jew."

Now that they were in their seats, the class would resume. "Since we want to be as smooth as possible for our new classmates to transfer, today we're going to do something a little easier. So, we're going to watch a video on the brief history of Paris."

To Kenny, her voice only faded into the back of his mind as he focused on the girls sitting in front of him. Sure, it meant sitting next to Cartman, but he still got to ogle at some tits and ass. Maybe he'd get to put his dick in one of them at the end of the month. He didn't want to be here, and neither did the rest of his class. PC Principal had become a teacher for the ninth grade and wanted the class to be more accepting. Accepting enough that the entire class should be shipped to Paris to learn French. Wonderful.

He didn't even know how he could afford everything. He must've been focused on getting every student. Must've paid for his ticket.

"Psst, Kenny." Cartman nudged his shoulder, "Look." He pointed the screen. Voilà, there was a half naked woman guiding the French Revolution.

"The kids in France have it so easy, man. They get to jack off to paintings of tits and say it's 'historical'," Cartman chuckled, but looked at Kenny and stopped.

"Dude, what the fuck are you doing? Why are your- Holy shit, dude."

Stan whispered. "Don't tell me Kenny's jacking off in class already."

The teacher then turned off the video. "So, that was just a little reminder of the history of our great city! So, boys, what did you think-" She stopped. "Boys?"

The three boys were attempting to block Kenny's "quick-fix" with Cartman blocking half of him while Stan and Kyle were attempting to locate paper towels.

"Uh, I-I spilled my yogurt! I f-forgot it was still open, you know? M-m-my friend was just h-helping!" Kyle spilled out of his mouths like his words were a gush of water.

Chloé turned to Sabrina. "What weirdo brings opened yogurt? What a loser."

"And Eric! What are you doing to your classmate?"

Kenny pushed Cartman off of him and glanced angrily at him. Cartman just sat at his seat like nothing had happened.

"Stan and Kyle, please clean the... yogurt mess as we resume with class."

Kenny sulked in his seat and sighed. Mission successful.

"You better stop bullshitting all of us by doing that shit in the middle of class again, asshole," Cartman grunted as the boys walked away from the school for lunch.

Kenny took off the mask. "It was just one time. Fuck off, dude."

"You dumbass, do you know how much trouble we could've been in if we were caught? I had to make that up on the spot!" Kyle countered.

"Whatever, the janitors are gonna clean that shit up and move on."

All of a sudden, Cartman began to pout, "Are there any restaurants nearby? I'm fucking starving. It's lunchtime."

Stan looked in the distance. "There's a small bakery at the end of the street. I guess we'll go in there."

"They better have some good shit or else I'm going to be pissed. I'm not waiting for PC to choose some hippie shit for us."

Cartman, eager for some triple-digit calorie goodness, did the unthinkable and ran towards the large, black doors and then plowed them open. The scent of the building was inviting, full of the fresh smell of bread being pulled out of an oven along with every pastry you could imagine. You could only imagine how Cartman's face lit up at the sight of pastries all over the building.

"Fuck yes! This beats having to be around PC all lunch!" He burst through the doors and towards the counter, where a petite, Asian woman was behind the counter.

"Welcome to Tom and Sabine Boulangerie and Patisserie. What can I get for you?"

Cartman looked into the display case like a kid in a candy store, but found the perfect treat. "I'll take whatever that is!"

The lady laughed. "The raspberry macaroons? They're a bestseller. It's good you came earlier than everyone else." She went to the case, opened it up, and took a batch of eight. She put them in a box and wrapped it in a bag.

Then, a man who was almost double in size walked into the bakery. "I'll take whoever's next."


	2. Chapter Two

"You guys, we all better come here for lunch every day for the rest of this damn trip," Cartman barged into his fifth macaroon, "This is my saving grace right here."

Kyle countered, "I'm not interested in losing the money they gave us. And bulking up to a fatass."

"Kyle, are you kidding me? You ordered a fucking sandwich. Just order that all the time. You're just saying that because you're a fucking Jew."

"Hey! Shut up fatass, or we're never going here again!"

Kenny sat at the other side of the table munching on a similar sandwich. Every student got the same amount of Euros for spending, but Kenny divided his so he could bring some home. So, he only bought something cheap. And he probably would every time.

"Hey, Kenny. I'll give you a few bucks if you buy me another box of this." Cartman raises a few Euros into the air.

"Cartman, stop being fucking lazy and do it yourself!" Stan muttered back.

"It's what he gets for jacking off in class and almost getting all of us busted! Except he's getting paid for it."

Kenny sighed and took the money, and re-entered the building expert it wasn't just the lady in the bakery, but his schoolmate.

"Aaaagh!" The girl stumbled attempting to back up and almost fell onto the windowpane with a laughing Cartman before she caught herself. "Oh, it's you. And your friends."

Up close, she had blue eyes with the same jet black hair as Stan, but a little blue. She looked like every other girl in his class, but there was something that reminded him about his sister. It had to be those two pigtails. Now, this was just getting fucking weird. There was no fucking way he was going to plow a girl that looked like his little sister, the only family member that mattered to him. He may be a perverted fuck, but he wasn't into incest. No way.

"My friend thinks you look like Adrien Agreste- you, uh, know him, right?" She paused, then sighed. He didn't know anyone in the class except for the teacher. "Right. You... probably don't." She pulled out a picture from her phone of a boy with the same yellow hair, but green eyes instead of blue. They sort of did look alike.

"His dad's Gabriel Agreste, one of the biggest fashion designers in the world. He didn't want him to go to school but he somehow convinced him to."

She then turned back and looked at Kenny again. "I think I know your name. Kenny, right? My name's Marinette. I sit ahead of you in class."

"Anyways, class is supposed to start again, I think you better get going if you don't want to be late. I always am," she bolted towards the door, "It was nice talking to you!"

For a moment, he forgot that he had to buy a second box of macaroons for his fat friend.

 _Later..._

"What was the hold-up in that store? Did the fatass buy all the macaroons in the store or something?" Kyle glanced at Cartman.

"I am not fat. I am big-boned, goddamnit! Get that through your Jew skull!" Cartman muttered between munching on macaroons.

"The baker's daughter is the girl that sits in front of me. She was in the store." Kenny countered.

The boys stopped. "That Asian chick lives there? Fucking hell, all the kids in this country have it easy if they can just live in a fucking bakery and eat what they want!"

"She thinks I look like some rich white kid. I'm not sure that was supposed to be a compliment, though."

Stan pointed to a billboard ad. "So that kid?" It was an ad for a perfume that had Adrien on it. Why his dad would whore out his own sun to market his product boggled Kenny, especially when the main market, he assumed, were men looking to woo an attractive woman at the bar. Not for high school students to bathe themselves on it in the same way he had done it in sixth grade. Saying that brought cringeworthy memories that he did not want to divulge into.

Stan analyzed it closer. "Gabriel Agreste? That guy must be huge here! Wendy has a purse from him and they sell his stuff everywhere! Imagine how crazy it is here!"

"This guy must sell like hotcakes. Imagine how much pussy his kid must get. If he was in America, Tammy would've given him a blowjob _with_ the purity ring." All the boys laughed except Kenny.

"Shut your damn mouth, Cartman."

When the boys finally got back, Craig and his gang of friends were sitting on the steps. Surprisingly, they hadn't seen the rest of their classmates since they had gotten out of the international terminal of the Charles de Gaulle airport. Kenny had felt there was something oddly lacking about it just being the four of them. "So, h-h-how is it for you... you... you guy... you guys?" Jimmy was standing near the Gang like usual. They had still considered him a member even though Tweek and Craig were together.

"Kenny almost blew it for us by jacking it to a fucking Les Miserables poster," Cartman cracked.

"Our teacher is so weird. The moment she saw Token take out a pencil from his backpack she glared at him like he just looted her house." Clyde laughed, "I thought it was pretty funny."

"No, it wasn't! Whoever that is, they're probably a fucked up racist or something!" Token crossed his arms.

Then, there was the sound of a limousine pulling up, and the same boy from the posters, the one, and only Adrien Agreste stepped out of it.

"Oh, look. It's the rich white boy every girl in this school's heads over heels over." Craig chimed, and soon enough, like Craig had predicted, almost every student from Paris walked up to Adrien like he was some exotic creature. He must've been a psychic.

However, he didn't necessarily stop. He began to walk up towards the boys.

"Holy shit, guys. The White Token's walking up towards us like he's some hot shit." Cartman snorted.

"Don't think I didn't hear that, fatass!" Token yelled in the distance.

"He's even got his bottom bitch next to him. I swear, this shit makes itself up!"

"Guys, shut up. He can speak English and I'm pretty sure he's hearing what we're saying." Kyle hissed.

Adrien stopped. Next to him was Chloé from The Boys' class and the black guy that sat next to him who must've been as tall as Stan was.

"You guys must be the new kids from America, right? I've always wanted to go there, it seems so cool!"

The boys were silent and glanced at one another until Craig spoke up.

"Don't you have some photoshoot to be at or something?"

"Photoshoot? No. Why are you saying that?"

"You're Adrien Agreste, dude. Your dad runs one of the biggest industries in fashion in the world. I mean, if my dad did that I wouldn't be surprised if I had a pretty busy schedule-"

"Stop shoving your nose into everything my Adrien does, you little brat!" Chloé screamed at Craig. Adrien cringed at the mention of him being her Adrien.

"Excuse me, I'm the brat?" Craig stood up. "You act like he's some sort of possession that you can just slap your name onto and whore around Paris."

"Well, excuse me! My daddy's the mayor of Paris and he can kick your pathetic American ass out of this country for good! Watch what you say!" Chloé got close enough to Craig that he could press his head at hers.

"Not only are you possessive, you're also spoiled. How shocking. What are you going to do, beg your Daddy to get the French Army here and deport us because someone hurt your feelings?"

Alya grabbed Marinette and walked towards the group. "Girl, you have to see this! That kid has some attitude! Someone's finally standing up to her!"

Chloé looked around, desperate to find anything that she could use until she looked down at Craig's hand, which had been holding Tweek's. She raised her eyebrow in her so-believed victory and looked back at him.

"Since you want to tell me how I should act, maybe I'll give you some words of advice. Maybe you can stop being obsessed with me and go back to the pride parade."

"Oh, how original." He rolled his eyes. "You made a gay joke about me because I happen to have a boyfriend standing right here. Your humor fits right in with all the other old white politicians in America. I wouldn't be surprised if your dad acted just like that." But with every word he said, his voice got a little tense. Chloé smirked upon realization.

"You want to criticize me when that freak you call a boyfriend can't even button his shirt and looks like he came out of a car wreck?" She spouted with a smug smirk. Tweek began to freak out.

All of a sudden, Craig's expression was beginning to change, and so did the atmosphere. He was pissed.

"Uh-oh. Somethings about to go down." The boy next to Adrien whispered.

But surprisingly, nothing happened. Craig just stood there.

"When we're talking, Tweek is off limits for you! Do you understand me? If you really want to talk, talk to me face to face like a fucking man!"

Chloé whimpered in shock, then sighed. "Whatever," she turned to her crony. "Sabrina! Let's get to class. This loser means nothing to me."


	3. Chapter Three

Craig slumped back down once Chloé, and eventually, the crowd began to disperse. Tweek, who had been holding his hand, even after she had made fun of them for it, let go and began to shake furiously.

"Craig! A-are you okay? She was being such an asshole to you! That isn't okay! At all!" He began to spasm.

Craig moved towards Tweek, and placed his hand over his shoulder. "I'm fine, honey." He looked up at whoever were left standing over him. "You guys, you do realize I don't give a shit about anything she said, right?"

"Don't give a shit? She just said some homophobic crap to you and smirked at it like she just threw you in the dirt!" Kyle countered.

Craig sighed. "That's the reaction she wanted from us. She only acts like she's some tough shit because now her dad's the mayor and everyone's terrified of her. If more people had spoken out she would've chickened out much quicker."

"But what about Tweek?" Stan asked.

"She picked on him because he's an easy target, no offense. Wouldn't have been surprised if she was going to be a bitch to Jimmy."

"O-o-or Timmy," Jimmy added.

Craig gestured to Jimmy with a sense of agreement. "Just ignore her, guys. A reaction is all she wants. It's not that hard."

—

 _Later..._

"Craig was so fucking badass back there! He put that stupid bitch in her place!" Cartman laughed as they walked back to class.

"He could've gotten into so much trouble, though. Her dad probably has a huge influence in this city if he's the mayor." Stan countered.

"Did you not see all of those kids who were happy? They wanted to hear Craig tell that bitch off! They probably think he's some American hero to them!"

Kenny walked quietly. Cartman was surprisingly right. It was cool to see Craig tell off some brat, especially one who was as snobby and spoiled as she was. If had acted in the same way that she had at home, he would've been beaten to a pulp.

"She didn't even look phased, though. Did he even go through her?" Kyle questioned.

Kenny took off his mask again. "She's a snob. She probably gets shit like this on the daily and she's only acting tough. If Craig beat her ass up whatever ego she had would've been ripped to shreds like he said."

In the corner, however, was a boy with red hair and green eyes who sulked in the dark. He glared at Kenny while he was laughing with the boys, watched as they went inside, and scurried in.

"Now that lunch is over, we'll be moving on to our project for English class," she glanced at the boys, "I think you boys won't have any trouble adapting."

"In this project, you will be able to choose a country in the British Commonwealth and summarize it."

"Don't give Kyle Canada, you already know what happened the last time he had something to do with it," Cartman whispered loud enough for Kyle and Stan to hear.

"Shut your fucking mouth, Cartman!"

"When you will get with your partner, who I will have chosen, you will both decide what country you want to do. I don't want anyone to feel conflicted with their choice."

"Does anyone have any questions?"

Cartman raised his hand. "Can I do something cooler than a bunch of England's bastard kids? Like Germany in World War-"

"Absolutely not. You must work with what is given to you."

Cartman sulked in his seat. "Damnit."

"Since it looks like you don't have any questions, now I'm going to give you your partners." She counted the students in the class, "There seems to be an even number, so no groups of three."

She took out a sheet of paper with names written down beforehand.

"Eric and Chloé."

Chloé scoffed. "I can't believe I have to work with that idiot."

"It won't be so bad, maybe." Sabrina attempted to comfort her.

"Not so bad? He's friends with that freak! Hmmpf!" She crossed her arms.

"Stan and Adrien."

"Kyle and Nino."

"Aww, sweet! We got one of those guys that stopped Chloé! It's not gonna be so bad!" Nino turned to Adrien and sensed something wrong. "Adrien, dude. What's the matter?"

Adrien sighed. "I feel really bad for them. I should apologize."

"Mylène and Alix."

"Alya and Kim."

"Rose and Juleka."

"Max and Sabrina."

"Marinette and Kenny."

Cartman turned to Kenny and snickered. "You better give her a hot Cosby before this trip is over and sell that shit all over South Park High. I'd pay so much shit to see that."

Alya turned to Marinette. "Ooh! Looks like you got your dreamboat's American doppelgänger! I wonder how that feels!"

"I-I talked to him, Alya. He doesn't seem that bad."

Alya gasped. "Girl! You WHAT? Tell me everything!"

"And finally, Nathaniel and Ivan."

Nathaniel squirmed in his seat.

"Nathaniel? Is there anything wrong with your partner?"

"No, miss." He was still squirming in his seat.

—

 _Moments later..._

"Do you already have some country in mind?" Marinette looked at Kenny. "I don't want to put you down by choosing one you don't like."

The class had begun working on the project, and it seemed like they had gotten nowhere, even when they had just started the project.

"I honestly don't care." He didn't care because he'd rather be looking at a supermodel's bare chest than this. Speaking of bare chests, this chick's was possibly as flat as a pancake. He wouldn't mind taking her shirt off and checking if he was right for himself but _probably_ not in the middle of class. Cartman would piss his pants if that plan ever came to fruition.

"I think Canada hasn't been chosen yet. I think America would be a little boring for you, especially because you're from there."

It was obvious that she was literally doing anything to get his attention, but to Marinette, it was like talking to a whiteboard, even when he was at the bakery. He only listens, never speaks. If only he could say what was on his mind.

"Or Australia? That's a pretty cool place."

Kenny then blinked and took off the mask that had been covering his mask. "Sorry, I, uh, was off the walls. America's a pretty cool place when you think about it. Maybe the teacher will let us focus on one part of the country because it's so big."

Finally. He actually talked back! "Oh, that's a good idea! Do you have a part of the country in mind?"

"I honestly want to hear what you have in mind _ **.**_ I don't think the teacher would like it if I chose everything."

That strangely caught her off-guard. "I want to learn about Manhattan or the rest of New York City. I want to become a fashion designer when I grow up and there are a lot of fashion designers there."

"Let's do New York City then. I think it's a cool city, personally."

Meanwhile, Chloé couldn't bring herself slip a world under her mouth let alone make any form of body language that suggested she approved of Eric Cartman. This guy was a major loser and she wasn't going to let that down _ **.**_

"Dude, someone has to do some work if we want to pass the class." Whatever between them was so bad that even _Cartman_ could serve as a voice of reason. The same kid who had made someone's parents into chili after he bullied him.

"Is there even anything interesting about your stupid country? We should do England because that's way cooler."

"I don't want to do America, goddamnit! Let's just pick a fucking country and get over this."

"I'm saying that we should go England. Not only is London there, but they have a Queen that's so much better than your stupid President."

"Oh, please! That's so pathetic, dude! I can think of a country that is so much cooler even without a woman running it-"

"You're just mad because I scared off your little queer friend! Let's just do England and get over this stupid project so I never have to look at your stupid face again!"

"Fine!" Cartman scoffed.

Kyle glanced at Cartman and turned to Nino. "I can't believe a girl that isn't Heidi is able to do that to him."

"To be fair, Chloè is like that too literally everyone that she meets. It's probably even worse for you guys since your friend stood up to her. I thought that was pretty cool."

"Yeah, Craig's pretty out there when it comes to what he thinks. Especially since she made fun of his boyfriend."

"We haven't really had someone stand up to her because we know what she can do to you. It took some serious grit for someone to be the class representative over her."

"You guys must've been around her for such a long time if you guys are so used to her being so bratty."

"If you're speaking about that, you should ask Marinette, no joke. She's been in her class for the past five years and she's always being picked on by her."

Kyle paused. "Ouch. That must leave a mark on you."

Stan had already begun working on the project when something had urgently slammed onto the desk. Stan looked towards the epicenter of the sound. It was Adrien shakily pulling up a chair. He turned to him.

"Listen, I'm _really_ sorry with what happened between your friend and Chloé at lunch today. I didn't mean for it to escalate that much-"

"It's not your fault. What are you apologizing for?" Stan countered calmly.

In the silence, he guessed. "You guys are...?"

"No." He retorted urgently. She's just... been my only friend for a while and I always feel like I have to apologize for whatever she does."

"Nevermind. But you really don't have to apologize anyway. Craig really cares less about what she said. And if she's like that, you really need some new people to be around."


	4. Chapter Four

_Outside of_ _Collège Françoise Dupont_

"My partner was so fucking pathetic! She didn't even want to do anything unless she liked it! I can't believe the teacher actually thought I could bear this!" Cartman whined on the steps of the school.

"You said the same with Heidi and look where that got you." Kyle retorted smugly.

"Oh, shut up Kyle! You're only acting that way because the guy you got is some chill black Bob Marley dude."

"What about your partner, Kenny? Wasn't it the same girl from the bakery or something?" Stan was clearly trying to change the topic.

"Yep, same chick. She wanted me to do everything, which was really weird."

"Maybe she's got the hots for you?" Kyle raised an eyebrow.

Kenny shook his head. "No, she doesn't. It's so obvious she likes that tweeny-bop vanilla twink."

"You shouldn't call him that, he's actually a really cool guy. He hates Chloé as much as the rest of us do." Stan retorted.

All of a sudden, Butters rushed through the doors and towards the group. Surprisingly, he hadn't been placed in their class and they hadn't seen him since they came to the school.

"Oh, hamburgers! Kenny! You have to see this!" Out of breath, Butters fished through his backpack and pulled out a crude drawing of what looked like Kenny being frozen as Marinette had a passionate kiss with an unknown man. However, he had to admire the details that were placed on his outfit. A long, flowing purple cape and an evil staff made him look more like a Saturday morning cartoon villain rather than a kid who just happened to work with his high school crush.

Kenny took it. "What the fuck? I barely know these people."

Stan looked closer. "Butters, where did you get this?"

"I-I was in the library with Jimmy because he needed to do some research for his comedy sketch, and we found this ginger kid scribbling in his notebook. When he left, we looked at it and ripped it out."

Cartman sneered. "Of course it was a ginger, they always do crazy shit like this."

"Wait! There's a name scribbled on the bottom. Look!" Stan pointed to a signature. "'NATHANIEL KURTZBURG.'"

They all became quiet.

"Nathaniel? Wasn't that the same kid the teacher yelled at for moving around in his seat?" Kyle asked.

"I guess he had a reason, he's got the hots for Marinette and he's mad that Kenny's her partner."

"Dude, that's so fucking creepy. We have to take this to PC so he can give it to the principal." Kenny took the drawing and stuffed it into his backpack.

—

 _Hotel Le Grand Paris_

"Alright, students, listen up. I want to know about your experiences in a Parisian high school. Was it an interesting experience learning about French culture? Did you make any new friends with the French students?" PC Principal, now Teacher PC was next to a projector screen with the Paris skyline on it.

"More like enemies," Kenny whispered as Teacher PC kept blabbering about what he thought about France and French culture. Already one day into this trip and someone hates his guts because of a girl he barely knew.

"So, I've heard about what Craig and Tweek have done from Monsieur Damocles, and I want to talk about it. Apparently one of the students berated this gay couple, and I want you guys to know that **HOMOPHOBIA IS NOT FUCKING OKAY ON ANY GROUNDS, ESPECIALLY SCHOOL GROUNDS!** "

The whole room when silent. "So, I also want to make it clear that I want everyone here to be as kind and respectful to other people as much as possible, even when they attack you because **BULLYING IS NOT FUCKING ACCEPTABLE OR TOLERATED IN ANY COUNTRY!** "

"So, I want to leave the microphone open to anyone who wants to speak about their experiences, and let others learn from it."

The boys huddled up with one another.

"Guys, we have to tell PC one way about this shit before it gets worse," Kyle whispered

"Kyle's right. He said he's already spoken with that Damocles guy so he could get suspended for good for being a fucking creep." Stan added.

"I'm not going up though. Kenny, since the drawing's about you maybe you should."

Kenny sighed and walked up. He was going to have to bullshit an entire speech.

"Kenneth looks like he wants to talk. Tell us, what's happened to you in Paris that you want us to know." He hated whenever PC called him that. It was always associated with some form of trouble.

He cleared my throat. "I want to use this platform to talk about someone who's been attacking me, someone I barely know."

PC stopped. "Excuse me, you've been a victim of harassment too?"

"Oh my fucking god, Kenny." Cartman sneered. "This better be good."

Kenny pulled out the drawing. "My friend Butters Stotch found that one of the students in my class named Nathaniel Kuntzberg had drawn this after I had been paired up with his crush."

Teacher PC rushed towards Kenny and looked at the drawing with an expression of horror.

"Are you sure this is one of the students in your class? Because whoever did this is going to have to face some serious repercussions."

Kenny nodded.

PC turned towards the crowd of ninth graders. " **I JUST WANT ALL OF YOU TO KNOW, THAT IF ANYONE IS BULLYING YOU OR MAKING YOU FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE IN ANY WAY, YOU SHOULD REPORT IT TO ME, YOUR TEACHER, OR MONSIEUR DAMOCLES** _ **BECAUSE THIS IS A SERIOUS MATTER AND WILL NOT BE FUCKING TOLERATED!**_ "

The room fell silent again, against the quiet snickering of Cartman.

"Holy shit, dude." Stan echoed.

"Since this isn't anyone here and someone who is a student at this school, I'm going to have to speak with the headmaster of the school about this and see what forms of repercussions that the student will face," Teacher PC took the drawing from Kenny. "Other then that, it'll be the same as tomorrow. I hope everyone is having a good day."

Near the room where Teacher PC's class was located and overhearing the entire conversation, Chloé and her henchman Sabrina were quickly peering in and out as their ears were pressed onto the light cream walls of the lobby.

Chloé quickly turned to Sabrina when she saw Teacher PC forcefully grab the slip of paper from Kenny's hand. "It's that Nathaniel freak again! I told you!"

"Nathaniel would do it again?" Sabrina quietly asked.

"That's what I thought! And it's about Marinette again!" She sneered. "I can't believe someone would actually have feelings for that pretentious brat!

The floor began to rumble beneath them not because of an earthquake, but due to the yelling of the teacher. Chloé And Sabrina clutched onto anything they could find to keep themselves at bay, whether it was a pillar or a houseplant.

"Whoever that is, I'm so glad he isn't our teacher." Sabrina chimed.

When the floor stopped shaking and the hotel back to normal, Chloé let go of what she was holding onto, and let out a grin. "I know what I'm going to do tomorrow."

"W-what?"

"He's going to finish mine and that Cartman kid's project, whether he wants to or not."

 _Later..._

"Dude, that was amazing. I've never seen PC freak out like that, especially over something stupid like a drawing," Kyle congratulated Kenny as they walked towards their room.

"That kid is going to get so fucked when he comes back to school. Imagine what crazy shit's gonna happen to him." Stan laughed as he opened the door to the room.

As they threw their backpacks onto the floor, Kenny grabbed his phone. He'd surprisingly left it in his suitcase and didn't bring it to school. It didn't matter, he could check on what was happening in South Park now _ **.**_

As the other boys were busy surfing through French channels to find Terrence and Phillip re-runs (hoping they were in the original English), Kenny dialed on his phone and reached his little sister.

 _"Kenny! Oh, I missed you so much!"_ Karen cheered on the other line. It had only been a day and she was glad to hear his voice again. _"It's so boring without you here! Kevin is so mean all the time."_

"Of course he is. He's always been that way ever since someone stole his waffle that one time." He could hear her laughter on the other line, and that made him just as happy _ **.**_

 _"So, how's Paris treating you? I've always wanted to go there. Ooh! I heard they call it the City of Love! Did you find any cuties?"_ She giggled.

"Well, some kid hates my guts now because I'm working with his crush on some project, so I guess it would make sense if it were the City of Hate."

 _"Oh? Did you get into some French drama without telling me? Say everything!"_ Karen remarked sarcastically.

"Well, there's this girl sits across from me in class, and my friends and I went to a bakery down the street that her parents literally owned so when I walked in the second time she was right there. I'm her partner for some dumb project about New York City and whoever likes her hates me so much he drew me being frozen to death. This all just happened today too."

 _"Man, I wish something that interesting happened down here. You must be having so much fun."_

"Not really. We're probably going to get in trouble with the mayor because Craig yelled at his daughter."

On the other line, his mom yelled for his sister. _"Well, Mom needs me for the millionth time again. I'll call you again. Love you."_

 _"Love you too."_ Kenny ended the call.


	5. Chapter Five

**Author's Note:** **If anyone is wondering, yes, Mysterion is coming soon! I'm really sorry if there's a delay, I didn't think there was going to be such a delay. He will be coming in the next few chapters but still soon. Stay tuned!**

* * *

 _That evening..._

 _Martinette's room, Tom Sabine_ _Boulangerie Patisserie_

"So now Alya's convinced this new boy looks just like Adrien, and she thinks you might like him?" Tikki was munching on a chocolate chip cookie.

"And the thing is, now I have to work with him on a project for English! That means that he might have to go to my house, and see all my pictures of Adrien, and think that's him, and he's going to think that I like him TOO!" She grabbed her head, "Tikki! What am I going to do?"

"Marinette! Relax!" Tikki flew towards her. "I don't think he's going to think all of those pictures are him."

"They basically look the same, that's the problem. He just has blue eyes."

"And he has a totally different personality and a way of thinking. And probably around different people, too. What's he like?"

"Well, he doesn't talk that much. He was at the bakery today for lunch and... he didn't really say anything to me until we had to work together. But he apparently doesn't talk a lot to his friends, he sits behind me and Alya."

"He sits behind you? What a coincidence."

"It's like this whole thing was set up against me or something. Chloé probably did all of this to take Adrien for herself! That sneaky little pest!" She crossed her arms. "But what she doesn't know is that I'm not going to fall into her little trap!"

"But I don't think that this is anything that Chloé herself did, either. And besides, if you can take on any villain with only a yo-yo, I think Kenny won't be much of an annoyance."

Marinette grasped onto the kwami and pulled her towards her face, nuzzling Tikki. "Thanks a lot, Tikki!"

 _Hotel Le Grand Paris_

Kyle slumped onto the bed. "We've been doing nothing but watching Terrance and Phillip for the last three hours. Aren't you guys even bored in the slightest?" It took a fart joke and everyone else laughing to answer his question. He rolled his eyes.

Something other than watching the same fart jokes over and over again for three hours straight would be a relief, but what were they going to do? They barely knew a sliver of French other than 'Bonjour' and 'omelet du fromage' and if PC had found out they would have been extradited from the country.

But everything changed when it switched to commercial break.

"Oh, goddamnit! Now we're going to have to watch a bunch of naked chicks sell shampoo while Kenny's jacking dry to it!" Cartman grunted as he crossed his arms, "Can someone _please_ change the channel?"

Kyle grabbed for the remote, but instead of changing the channel he switched it off.

"No one asked for you to turn in off, you Jew rat!"

"If you want it on, you're going to have to chase me for it, but I guess you can't because you're a fucking

fatass!" The room burst into laughter. Cartman slumped back onto the bed and glared at him.

"The day vengeance comes to you better come quicker than the day Kenny gets a penile enlargement and bangs that French chick!"

The sound of the bathroom door slamming open erupted, and Kenny walked out. "For fuck's sake, man! Why do you always use me as your damn punching bag?"

"Dude, it's so fucking obvious you want to fuck her. None of us are retarded."

Stan shrugged. "I mean, he has a point. You were eyeing her the moment you sat behind her."

"His dick was probably in his hand when they were talking in that bakery too," Kyle added.

Kenny sighed. "Whatever. Just don't bring it up or the teacher, Bustier _or_ PC. They're going to flip shit."

"You better beat that Nathaniel kid at it first. Hit a few nails in the coffin." Stan laughed.

However, what they didn't know is that they wouldn't just be hitting a few nails on the coffin, they'd be unleashing a form of evil that they had never seen before. One that would take more than the heroes of Paris to stop.

 **Tuesday**

 _Collège Françoise Dupont_

Miss. Bustier walked into class and placed the blue binder that she had been holding onto her desk. "We will not be resuming with the projects immediately today."

She pulled out a stack of paper. Upon seeing this, most of the class secretly groaned.

"Instead, we'll be having a pop quiz on American history-" Before she could finish her sentence, someone was banging on the door. "Who's already interrupting class?"

Miss Bustier ran for the door to open it when Teacher PC stormed into the room carrying with him the drawing.

Alya turned to Marinette. "Who is that guy? I've never seen him."

"That's our normal teacher," Kyle answered. "He can be a bit... you'll see."

"Umm, there seems to be a problem between one of your students and one of my students that was just reported yesterday," PC chimed as he gave the drawing to the science teacher, who, upon looking at it, gazed with eyes wide open in total shock.

Miss Bustier looked up. "Nathaniel? What is this?" She then held up the drawing, with almost enough force to throw it, in all it's glory for the whole class to see. The students turned to a defeated Nathaniel.

"It's n-n-nothing-"

"Nathaniel, I understand you'd like to express your well... artistic freedom but not in such a violent manner!"

Teacher PC finished her sentence. "Especially when it was made to harass a student in your class! I just want this whole class to know that **WE DO NOT FUCKING TOLERATE BULLYING HERE, ESPECIALLY ON SCHOOL GROUNDS! DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?** "

The whole class, like usual, shook in silence. Whatever had happened, Nathaniel Kurtzberg was on the short end of the stick. And it wasn't anywhere near comfortable.

"Mr. Damocles would like to speak to you about this. Harassing your fellow students can lead to a harsh punishment, young man." The way she had said 'young man' slid out of her young with a taste of bitterness. She clearly wasn't ecstatic about this.

She turned to PC. "This hasn't been the first time he was sent for something like this, unfortunately. The science teacher mentioned another separate incident."

"Thankfully we were able to stop this incident. Next time this happens to anyone here, just let me know."

Satisfied, Teacher PC walked out, but not before slamming the drawing onto her desk. At the sound, Miss. Bustier shook. Following him, Nathaniel walked out of the room, clutching his binder and his head low. When they both left, Adrien turned to Stan.

"That's what you have to deal with all the time?"

 _Somewhere in Paris..._

A large cathedral window opened to the world, and the glare of light from the outside world bled through the damp and mysterious room. At the warning of the glow, groups of white butterflies flew around sporadically.

All of a sudden, the echo of a staff erupted and broke the sounds of the fluttering of wings. The butterflies now began to glide towards the sound, and around the figure of a dark, strange man.

He tightened his grip as he felt a sense, and let out a grin of satisfaction. There were negative emotions, and they were rife in Paris.

"These new American students have created the perfect concoction of feelings of jealousy and shame, which will eventually lead to anger."

One of the white butterflies floated towards and onto his staff. The process was about to begin.

"It seems like our friend, the Evillustrator is ready for round two of bringing terror to those that choose to defy his artistry."

At the touch of the staff, the butterfly suddenly changed colors. No longer was it a serene white, but a darkened hue of black and purple.

"Fly away, little akuma! And evilize him once more!"

The akuma flew away from the staff and out into the world from a small opening. It was now ready to do its job.

As Nathaniel was walking towards the headmaster's office, his pen fell onto the floor. As if this had not just happened to him only months ago, he went back. But before he could take it the akuma landed on the pen. When he grabbed it, a purple aura shaped like the wings of a butterfly formed around his eyes, which had a red mark on it the shape of a mask.

"We meet once again, Evillustrator. I guess I don't have to introduce myself." The man from before began to telepathically speak to him.

" _Hawkmoth_." Nathaniel grinned. Now he had some _real_ power. He could get back at everyone who had wronged him.

"I will give you power stronger than before, but you know you need to do. I require the Ladybug and Cat Miraculouses, and then our little masterpiece will be complete."

A purple cloud engulfed his arm and soon the rest of his body. The Evillustrator was back and with a vengeance.


	6. Chapter Six

_Courtyard, Collège Françoise Dupont_

"Dude, that was the hardest test I've taken in a while and it wasn't even for algebra!" Cartman gleefully opened the door, psyched on getting to the bakery and filling his mouth with those raspberry macaroons.

"That wasn't a test. That was a pop quiz, and she made it purposefully easy." Stan countered.

"Whatever, Stan. Not all of us are fucking geniuses like you. Or did you just copy Kyle again like you always do?" Cartman smirked.

Stan yelled a "Shut up, fatass!" as the other three boys laughed at him.

They stepped off of the green metal stairs from the hallway of their classroom and onto the grey courtyard, where other students were already socializing before they had gotten there.

"Dude, I'm so hot in this," Kenny threw off his signature orange parka.

Stan glanced at one direction and then back at Kenny almost immediately. "Kenny! Put your fucking jacket on! Wendy's nearby and I don't want her to see that you're more jacked than I am!"

Kenny laughed off his comment. "Why do you think I care about your little prude girlfriend? It's fucking hot here! I'd rather have her on my dick than melt!"

Stan, defeated, sighed and crossed his arms as he walked. It wasn't his fault that he was jealous, but neither was it Kenny's. Kenny had always been the strongest out of the boys, able to carry his younger sister out of harm's way when someone was threatening her safety. And those feelings of jealousy must have stayed the same even after all of these years.

It didn't phase Kenny, though. In fact, he bathed in it. He wasn't going to bring himself down to bring everyone else up. At least Stan actually had a girlfriend.

"So... are we actually going to that fucking bakery or not? You guys do realize I'm fucking starving here, right?" Cartman grunted.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "You are _such_ a fatass, dude."

 _Meanwhile..._

The Evillustrator stood on top of the roof and peered into the school courtyard.

This was perfect. He just stood there like a fool, ready for someone to attack him and fall into disgrace. It was his fault that this had happened, for what he did to his beloved. And he didn't even confront him about it, he just stuck his teacher to do all of the dirty work.

He was pathetic, and after he was done with him the entire school would know, and so would Marinette. He smiled at that.

But it took only one blink for them to simply disappear. He grunted and pulled out his tablet. If they were nowhere to be found, he was going to do what it took to find wherever that McCormick was. Even if it meant locking everyone else up so they wouldn't disrupt his master plans.

He pulled out his stylus and sketched out a padlock with chains big enough to surround the large, red door that served as the entrance. When he finished, he jumped from rooftop to rooftop until he got to his final destination.

 _Outside of Tom Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie_

"They didn't have enough raspberry macaroons so that Asian chick gave me a few of the strawberry ones instead," Cartman had probably caused the bakers to hide the remaining stock, "which are complete fucking garbage if you ask me."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, dude." Kyle countered.

Out of nowhere, one of the backpacks began to vibrate. Stan urgently reached for one of the pockets in his backpack and got out his phone.

"It's Wendy." He picked up the call. "Hey, babe-"

" _Stan! This is urgent! Where the hell are you?"_ He could hear the sounds of someone running through the other line.

"At that bakery again, why?"

The other line went silent.

"Wendy? What the hell is going on back there?"

" _Listen... I_ _can't describe what's happening. There's this guy, with purple skin and red hair, and he just drew a lock on the school door!_ _And now... he's looking for_ _Kenny!"_

"What's he going to do if he's not here?"

The other line went silent again, but this time no one picked up.

"Wendy? WENDY?" He hung up the call, in disbelief.

"What the hell happened?" Kyle asked.

 _Meanwhile..._

At the sight of the Evillustrator, the whole courtyard went berserk. Left and right, people were running to whatever was big enough to hide them.

But that looked like it didn't interfere with any of his plans. He was going to find that McCormick kid, and he probably wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Hey you weirdo!" Chloé was banging on the door with both fists. "Take out that stupid lock or else I'll call my Daddy and you'll be sorry!"

"You should be sorry for what you've done to this school, Chloé! You were the one who helped me find my artistic muse!" He then began drawing on his tablet and unleashed a humongous fan that blew her away from the door, sending her crashing into the wall.

Chloé looked down at her yellow jacket and looked like she was about to break. "Ugh! That was a designer jacket you just ruined!"

"But you're not who I'm really looking for, just a mere distraction. I'm looking for Kenny McCormick, your fellow classmate who started this mess."

On the other side of the courtyard, Marinette ran to the bathroom and slammed one of the doors shut. She clawed her purse open, and Tikki flew out.

"Kenny, getting Nathaniel mad enough for him to get akumatized again? But he's at the bakery. Something really strange is going on. It's time to transform!"

" _Tikki, spots on!"_

Behind one of the green staircases, Adrien opened one of his shirt pockets and Plagg flew out.

"Looks like the Evillustrator isn't done with his grand masterpiece yet. It's time to transform!"

" _Plagg, claws out!"_

 _Meanwhile... o_ _utside of Tom Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie_

"Someone at that school has gone crazy, and he's pissed off at all of us!" Cartman was attempting to reach any number that he had, but with no success. Whoever had done this had a lot of spare time to plan it.

"What the hell are you talking about? If anything, he's pissed at Kenny for working with Marinette more than all of us combined!" Kyle countered.

Kenny peered at the sky. "I have an idea."

Everyone stopped to look at him. "You're the one he's pissed off at! What the hell are _you_ going to do?" Kyle angrily retorted.

"Dude, calm down. He probably has more of a plan than anyone else here." Stan countered.

"We're going back to the room, there's something that I brought that I thought I wouldn't need, but I guess I do now."

 _Le Hotel Grand Paris_

Kenny opened his old black suitcase and threw off the top. Inside and on the top of the other clothing was a familiar sight from when they were just in fourth grade.

"We stopped playing superheroes, like, five years ago."

Kyle sighed. "Dude, you have to be fucking kidding. There's absolutely no way you can just walk in there wearing that and not have your ass handed to you." He was now sitting on a wooden chair next to the table.

Kenny, in the other side of the room, was attempting to wrestle on the purple suit that made up the majority of his superhero garb.

"Trust me, it's going to work. This guy might be batshit insane, but probably not school shooter levels."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Whatever floats your boat, dude."

Stan walked in with a pack of smoke bombs. "Cartman has the belt, he's still downstairs." he turned to the other boys. "So, what are you doing again?"

"Stan, what Kenny's doing is nothing but a suicide mission. Dude, this isn't fourth grade anymore. This is some serious, messed up shit-"

Cartman barged through the door, the brown utility belt barely hanging on his shoulder. "I just got through Butters. Turn on the TV."

Despite this, nobody moved in the room one bit, not even Kenny.

"Someone fucking turn it on, goddamnit!" He towards where the remote was and swiped it. He then turned the TV on.

On the small flatscreen, two heroes who wore a similar garb to Kenny were fighting a man. One of them, a girl with a red costume with perpendicular black spots like a ladybug, was attempting to hit him with a yo-yo, albeit without success. The other hero, a boy in a black cat costume was behind her, holding a metal retracting pipe.

The boys all looked at each other. "Wait, are we still on the channel that had Terrance and Phillip on it?" Stan asked.

Kyle pressed on the menu button. "Nope. It's the news channel."

"Then why the hell is this on the news?"


	7. Chapter Seven

At the sight of the Evillustrator, the whole courtyard went berserk. Left and right, people were running to whatever was big enough to hide them.

But that looked like it didn't interfere with any of his plans. He was going to find that McCormick kid, and he probably wasn't going to take no for an answer.

"Hey you weirdo!" Chloé was banging on the door with both fists. "Take out that stupid lock or else I'll call my Daddy and you'll be sorry!"

"You should be sorry for what you've done to this school, Chloé! You were the one who helped my find my artistic muse!" He then began drawing on his tablet, and unleashed a humongous fan that blew her away from the door, sending her crashing into the wall.

Chloé looked down at her yellow jacket and looked like she was about to break. "Ugh! That was a designer jacket you just ruined!"

"But you're not who I'm really looking for, just a mere distraction. I'm looking for Kenny McCormick, your fellow classmate who started this mess."

On the other side of the courtyard, Marinette ran to the bathroom and slammed one of the doors shut. She prawed her purse open, and Tikki flew out.

"Kenny, getting Nathaniel mad enough for him to get akumatized again? But he's at the bakery. Something really strange is going on. It's time to transform!"

" _Tikki, spots on!"_

Behind one of the green staircases, Adrien opened one of his shirt pockets and Plagg flew out.

"Looks like the Evillustrator isn't done with his grand masterpiece yet. It's time to transform!"

" _Plagg, claws out!"_

 _Meanwhile... o_ _utside of Tom Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie_

"Someone at that school has gone crazy, and he's pissed off at all of us!" Cartman was attempting to reach any number that he had, but with no success. Whoever had done this had a lot of spare time to plan it.

"What the hell are you talking about? If anything, he's pissed at Kenny for working with Marinette more than all wthisof us combined!" Kyle countered.

Kenny peered at the sky. "I have an idea."

Everyone stopped to look at him. "You're the one he's pissed off at! What the hell are _you_ going to do?" Kyle angrily retorted.

"Dude, calm down. He probably has more of a plan than anyone else here." Stan countered.

"We're going back to the room, there's something that I brought that I thought I wouldn't need, but I guess I do now."

 _Le Hotel Grand Paris_

Kenny opened his old black suitcase and threw off the top. Inside and on the top of the other clothing was a familiar sight from when they were just in fourth grade.

"We stopped playing superheroes, like, five years ago."

Kyle sighed. "Dude, you have to be fucking kidding. There's absolutely no way you can just walk in there wearing that and not have your ass handed to you." He was now sitting on a wooden chair next to the table.

Kenny, in the other side of the room, was attempting to wrestle on the purple suit that made up the majority of his superhero garb.

"Trust me, it's going to work. This guy might be batshit insane, but probably not school shooter levels."

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Whatever floats your boat, dude."

Stan walked in with a pack of smoke bombs. "Cartman has the belt, he's still downstairs." he turned to the other boys. "So, what are you doing again?"

"Stan, what Kenny's doing is nothing but a suicide mission. Dude, this isn't fourth grade anymore. This is some serious, messed up shit-"

Cartman barged through the door, the brown utility belt barely hanging on his shoulder. "I just got through Butters. Turn on the TV."

Despite this, nobody moved in the room one bit, not even Kenny.

"Someone fucking turn it on, goddamnit!" He towards where the remote was, and swiped it. He then turned the TV on.

On the small flatscreen, two heroes who wore a similar garb to Kenny were fighting a man. One of them, a girl with a red costume with perpendicular black spots like a ladybug, was attempting to hit him with a yo-yo, albeit without success. The other hero, a boy in a black cat costume was behind her, holding a metal retracting pipe.

The boys all looked at each other. "Wait, are we still on the channel that had Terrance and Phillip on it?" Stan asked.

Kyle pressed on the menu button. "Nope. It's the news channel."

"Then why the hell is this on the news?"

Cartman sneered. "Guys, I don't think we can trust her. She's a ginge."

Kyle lashed out. "Dude, this is serious! All of our friends are locked in that building and now Kenny here wants to fucking play superheroes with the other two idiots!"

"Hold up. They're focusing the guy now." Stan pointed to a man who had matched the same description that Wendy has claimed on the phone. With purple skin and wild red hair, add on top a beret and a drawing tablet that could mysteriously summon anything at will. He was walking backwards as the two heroes were trying to get a hit out of him.

"Real villains can't just pussy around using an iPad to do everything for them! That's so fucking pathetic!" Cartman growled. "I can't believe you're actually scared of him, Kyle."

"Yeah, because I'm actually concerned about the well-being of my friends unlike _you_."

The Evillustrator turned towards where the cameras were, and let out a menacing smirk. " _Well, you're friends are waiting on you, McCormick. I can keep them here all day if I must. I know you wouldn't want to see your poor Marinette in the hands of who you see as the villain."_

Hearing 'your poor Marinette', Cartman let out a chuckle, but that was soon gone when Kyle shot him a glare.

Kenny sighed. "Guys, I've got this under control. If those two can beat him up with a yo-yo and a pipe, than this will be easy. My sister's school bully was Rocky Balboa compared than this."

He dragged down a black mask that left half of his face virtually covered, and cleared his throat. "All I'm concerned is that I'm going to be this kid's worst fucking nightmare, if I'm not already."

 _Courtyard, Collège Françoise Dupont_

Ladybug threw her yo-yo at the Evillustrator, which was able to catch him and tie him up. However, it was to no use as he snapped himself out of its grasp.

"Hah! Do you really think you can stop me with that?"

Ladybug turned her head towards Chat Noir. "Chat Noir! What are we going to do? We just can't take him!"

The Evillustrator laughed. "I know all of your silly little tricks, and now that I'm back I'll erase whatever glory you had! There's nothing you can do!"

"Maybe we're going to have to go back to the drawing board on this one?" Chat yelled. He then looked down at the courtyard. "Good thing I have these cat reflexes."

Ladybug turned to him again. "Chat Noir! What are you doing?"

"This kitty cat's gonna jump from something that isn't a tree!" He leapt from the roof back onto the courtyard floor.

"What's that going to do to help us?"

"Just trust me on this!"

Without hesitation and the two of them looking, the Evillustrator swiped at his pen and began to sketch in his tablet. Suddenly, a box appeared around Chat Noir as his trusty baron fell away from his reach.

The crowd flinched in horror.

Chat looked up, now well aware of his surroundings, and began to bang at the box. "You have to be _kitten_ me! Not again! Where's an eraser when you need it?"

The Evillustrator was not phased with his pleas, in fact, he was pleased. "Now that your partner in crime has been taken out, I'll be taking the pleasure with taking out Ladybug herself!"

Chat shrugged. "I guess I'm _out of the picture_ for this one, m'lady."

Bebe turned to Wendy. "Did he seriously just call her that?"

Ladybug grunted. It was going to have to be a 1v1 now until Chat would realize that he could just use his fists to push himself out of the box like they had done only months ago, albeit, as Marinette and with a baton.

Then, out of nowhere, a smoke bomb erupted, letting out waves of mauve smoke onto the rooftop. Ladybug coughed.

"This better not be one of your stupid tricks, Evillustrator!"

"Trick? What are you talking about-" He turned to the epicenter of smoke, which suddenly punched him and threw him onto the floor.

The Evillustrator attempted to sit up, but was thrown down yet again, with an even stronger force, still clutching his tablet.

In shock, Ladybug froze. "W-who are you?"

The smoke began to vanish, and a figure was becoming easier to distinguish. He was wearing a cape, which flew behind his back as he stood above the Evillustrator. A question mark was on the top of his hood, connected to a spring that must've been well-secured.

The mysterious figure laughed at the man beneath him. "Today, you crossed paths with the wrong immortal freshman."


	8. Chapter Eight

In the front of the building, Stan was jamming a pin into the lock attempting to free everyone who was inside.

"There's something really weird about this lock. It's not like the ones I've seen before." Stan began jamming harder into it, but stopped midway to investigate. He then picked up the lock, looked into the keyhole, and found his answer. "The keyhole's all fucked up! Look!"

Unlike most locks, the hole was much wider and deeper than what would typically fit a normal key. It looked like the Evillustrator had used something thick like a vintage key to lock it.

"Looks like it was custom made. Kyle! Did I take my screwdriver?"

Kyle fished through one of the pockets in his backpack, and pulled out a small, yellow screwdriver. "Guess so."

Stan took it, throwing the pin onto the floor, and resumed what he was doing. This time, when he was wriggling it, it fell into his hand and the nearest chains fell onto the floor in a rustling motion.

"Fuck yeah! It worked!" Cartman rushed to the red door but he stooped to look at the tool. "Dude, did you actually take that from your dad again? What a fucking stud."

Stan pulled the doors open, and the three moved in. "Let's D.I.Y some justice, guys!"

As they were running in, Kyle turned to Stan. "Dude, please do not say that ever again."

"Hey!" The figure turned to Ladybug. "I asked you a question! What are you doing here? And what do you want?"

"You look like you needed some help. Especially when... your feline friend looks _claws-trophobic_ in that box."

Chat, upon hearing the pun, looked over at him. "Hey! I think _purr-ple_ not that bad of a color!" He flashes a thumbs up and a smile.

"Since he gave you his seal of approval, I guess I'll have to give you mine too." She walked up to his ear and began to whisper. "What caused him to transform into that is in the pencil he's holding. It's what he uses to summon basically anything at will. Try to take it from him," she stepped away. "You got all of that?"

He nodded. "Guess so." He began to walk towards the Evillustrator, who was still on the floor.

Ladybug paused. "Hey. Just one thing. You never told me your name, Peter Pan."

He flinched. "For the love of God, please don't call me that. Just call me Mysterion."

Below the rooftop and on the floor of the courtyard, the doors opened, and Kyle, Stan, and Cartman barged in, running into the courtyard.

Kyle ran towards the middle. "Everyone, you have to get out of here! Kenny-uh, I mean, Mysterion, and..."

"Ladybug and Chat Noir!" Chloé yelled from the end of the courtyard, recording the scene. "Paris's _greatest_ superheroes! How do you not know who they are?"

"Yeah, Ladybug and Chat Noir. They'll take care of him. Now let's just try to get out as soon as we can!"

Chat looked up at Kyle. "I really can't do that when I'm boxed in here."

Stan and Kyle ran back and prawed open the doors. "Everyone, just focus on getting out of here before he can lock us all up again!" Stan pulled the door even more, making the space even wider as more people began to flee.

From all directions, people were running from where they had hidden to the red door, towards the staircase and into freedom. From behind the lockers, trashcans, and even bathroom stalls. It seemed like the kids of Paris had dealt with this before, compared to the American kids who had just ducked.

Wendy dashed towards Stan, and barraged him with a flurry of kisses. "Stan!" Stan wiped the tears falling from her eyes. "Thank God you got out of here before we'd all be trapped!" She looked down at the screwdriver in his hand. "Did you seriously...?"

He shrugged. "Didn't even know I had it in my backpack."

Craig walked up to Kyle, and pointed to Mysterion. "That's Kenny? Doing the superhero shit? I thought we stopped with that like five years ago."

Kyle sighed. "I said the same thing."

"And what are we going to do with that cat guy in the box? Is he just going to starve to death?"

Chat looked at them. "That sounds like a _cat-astrophic_ ending."

As he and Craig were talking, Kyle caught something at the far corner of his eye. It was someone who had probably not heard the both of them yelling hiding between a few trash cans. They looked like they had their phone out and were recording.

Kyle turned back to everyone else. "Someone didn't get the memo. Crap. Cartman, you and Stan take the doors."

Cartman glared at Kyle. "Us? Are you seriously Jewing me right now, dude?"

"Shut the fuck up! Just be a decent human being for once and help out!"

Wendy gazed at the rooftop, and pointed at the Evillustrator. "Look, he's getting up! And he's going to hurt them both!"

Kyle must've ran too fast, as when he stopped at the trash cans he already felt like hehad fun a thousand miles. It must've been because of the anticipation of something going wrong, a basketball player like him should've have been winded so quickly.

He dug through the trash cans until he found a clearing where he could help whoever was stuck and with that could identify who they were. They looked familiar, but not someone he had known. She was also recording like he had thought.

He reached out his hand. "It's not safe. You have to get out of here!"

She turned around. "Ugh! Are you kidding me? There's no way I'm wasting this opportunity!"

"This isn't a joke, damnit! You could seriously get hurt!"

She scoffed. " _You_ don't understand! I run the biggest blog on Ladybug in Paris so I've got this-" Without hesitation, Kyle grabbed her hand, yanked her away from where she was sitting, and began to run for the door.

"What the heck was that for?" She took out her phone and resumed recording, albeit the footage was most likely going to be shakier though she didn't seem to care as much as she did only a few minutes ago. Kyle only rolled his eyes.

Mysterion looked down at the group that was still near the red door. While mostly everyone had left, his friends were still there, but they surely were going to get out, too.

Then, Wendy, the same girl who had made Stan lash out at him, pointed behind him, and her gaze was intertwined with complete horror. This caused him to look behind, too.

The Evillustrator was slowly dragging himself up, too however still clutching onto his tablet. His other hand, while clutching his stomach, once up had taken control of the pen, which had whatever was making him act this way.

Chat Noir, still surprisingly in his box, gazed in complete shock, and began to knock tremendously at the glass prison. "LADYBUG! WATCH OUT!"

Now full of total vengeance, he scribbled away at his tablet. The floor beneath them began to rumble, and as if the roof had been erased completely, a massive hole in the middle was around Mysterion and Ladybug.

A glowing mask with a butterfly pattern appeared over the Evillustrator's face.

"You know what to do! Take both of their Miraculouses!"

Kyle glanced up almost immediately as the floor began to rumble and saw had his friend began to fall towards his eventual defeat. His eyes began to dilate in fear as he suddenly stopped running. When he believed he felt the roof beginning to fall onto the courtyard he yanked the both of them behind a set of lockers.

"Do you seriously think Ladybug's gonna lose to the Evillustrator?" The girl laughed. "She's a true super heroine, and she's done this pretty much every day. We all believe in her."

"Wait, what? This thing happens all the time.

"Hon, you are _so_ behind on all of this. Someone has to show you the Ladyblog pronto." She turned to take a good look at him. "Wait a minute, you're Nino's partner! I knew that hair of yours looked familiar!"

Kyle began to get flustered. "Uh, yeah. That's me."

"Then I have to know you better. But seriously, I hate when people ruin my stuff and I don't think you want to be on my bad side unless you want to be one of Chloé's lackies. I'm Alya."

"Kyle."

Falling into the hole, Mysterion clutched onto a chunk that hadn't to be erased, and looked at the Evillustrator, and looked down to Ladybug. "Ladybug! I think I can take on this bastard by myself! He's got a weak spot!"

"It doesn't matter! You're going to need all of the help you can get on this one!" She yelled. She then took out her yo-yo, and threw it into the sky.

"LUCKY CHARM!"

A blindfold, with identical ladybug spots, fell into her palm. She grabbed at it, and looked at the lenses.

"A blindfold? How am I going to stop him with this?"

Mysterion looked at it and sneered. "This is the help I'm supposed to need?"

She looked up, and her senses began to kick in, which pointed to Mysterion, a nearby chimney and at the Evillustrator's eyes.

"That's it! Mysterion, try to subdue him! He can't draw if everything around him is dark!"


	9. Chapter Nine

He nodded. "No mercy." He pulled himself out of the hole, and threw himself at the Evillustrator, who was been walking to retrieve his prize. While they were rolling, Ladybug threw her yo-yo at the chimney and also got out. She threw the blindfold at Mysterion.

"Put it on him when he's down!"

Mysterion pulled his head and without caution, began to knot the blindfold as quick as possible. He backed off, and watched as his foe attempting to snap out of whatever had happened, walking towards the edge of the roof.

When we got too close, he fell and lost his grasp on his pen. "Get his pen!" Ladybug screamed as she tied her yo-yo around him, breaking his fall.

Mysterion jumped from the rooftop, in the same fashion his feline friend had, however not to be captured in a similar glass prison. While doing so, he grabbed the pen, snapped it in half releasing a dark purple akuma, and did a front flip to catch himself when he landed.

"No more evilizing for you, little akuma." She opened her yo-yo, which let out a bright pink aura. "Time to de-evilize!"

Ladybug swung her yo-yo, capturing the akuma with ease. She brought it back towards her, and opened it up, releasing the similar white butterfly from the hideout which flew into the sky. "Bye bye, little butterfly!"

She untied the blindfold, and threw it into the sky. "Miraculous _Ladybug!_ "

Where the blindfold has once been exploded in an aura of small ladybugs, which flew around the school courtyard at mach speed, easily repairing the holes made on the roof, the chains around the door, and importantly, getting rid of the glass box Chat was captured in.

When the box was gone, Chat collapsed onto the pavement and picked himself up. "Next time this happens, can someone tell me?"

Ladybug jumped off of the roof and walked towards Mysterion, and raised her fist, which confused him at first glance. She laughed. "Come on. Me and Chat do it all of the time!"

He hesitantly brought his fist up, and bumped it with hers.

"Pound it!"

Hawkmoth clenched his fist. "No! I was so close to getting both of their Miraculouses, had it not been for that vigilante! But that won't matter when I have them all, then we'll see who has the last laugh!"

The window began to close, and the last beams of light began to fade into the darkness, as the butterflies still flapped on.

 _Outside Mdme. Bustier's Class, Collège Françoise Dupont_

Kenny opened the door from the boys bathroom, walked out, and slung his backpack onto his shoulder. Waiting for him were his friends, with looks of total shock at what had just happened.

Kenny shot back a small smirk. "So? What did you guys think?"

"What did we fucking think? Dude! What the hell happened back there? You sent his ass to the fucking stratosphere!" Cartman laughed, then paused, most likely to look for some new words in his vocabulary.

Stan continued. "I mean, you've always been like that... but..."

"That's years of training for you." Kenny threw his backpack onto the floor and dug out a hardcover book about New York City. Once he had it, he grabbed his backpack.

The others looked in confusion. "What the hell is wrong with you?" Kyle asked.

"What's your problem?" He put the book onto a nearby table.

"You're acting casual about all of this. Do we need to remind you that you not only defeated a lunatic that was hellbent on killing you and everyone else here, but you did it in only five minutes!"

Cartman barged into the conversation. "Someone should've been asking your ass about why you took some bitch behind a few lockers. Did you use some of your gold Jew coins to convince her to blow you?"

"Cartman, shut up! At least Kyle actually did something you'd think was too hard for you!" Stan yelled.

Kenny ignored the verbal fight and looked up at Kyle. "You guys picked the lock and get everyone out. It's not like you guys didn't do anything."

"But... you're reacting to all of this like this was on TV or something! Is this something you do all the time and you're not telling us?"

Cartman sneered. "For fucks sake, Kyle. Why do you have to Jew everything and ruin the moment for all of us? This dude saved all of our asses and now you act like a Jewish mom-"

" **FOR THE LAST FUCKING TIME CARTMAN, I AM NOT LIKE MY FUCKING MOM!** " Kyle sulked. "Whatever. Forget it, man. Sorry I said all of this."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "I have a lot more things to worry about than some kid getting hurt. Like this fucking project."

Alya was holding her phone and showing Marinette a video of the whole fight as it unraveled.

"I got the entire thing! You know how they got everyone out? I just hid behind one of the trash cans!"

Marinette looked at it with a blank expression, but fixated on only one detail: the boy in the purple cape, Mysterion.

 _Who was he? What did he want? Why was she asking all of this? Why should she care?_ But that didn't matter, she really wanted to know.

She snapped out of her train of thought when the door opened, and her American classmates walked in. Alya waved them towards her desk.

"You guys were there, right? Wasn't it so amazing?"

They looked at Alya for a minute, confused.

She glanced at Kyle, quickly remembered what had happened, and laughed. "Oh my God! Forgot about that. I have a recording of her entire thing. You guys need to see it!" She pressed play.

The recording began to look shaky, most likely from Alya running from place to place to get the action, which of course, he thought was flattering. At the same time, people began to run in the opposite direction. The lock must've been picked by now.

Suddenly, as Ladybug and Mysteriom were falling, a familiar voice was yelling in the background. Looks like it was movie star Kyle Broflovski's stunning debut! He grabbed her and the both began to run as the footage became more shakier and hard to read until they abruptly stopped.

Then, the camera switched towards her face, but way too close to comfort. They could also see Kyle angrily tapping on his phone. He began to blush.

" _Ladyblog, this is a serious emergency! Look! There's another superhero! But who is he? I'm going to find out!"_

Kenny put the book that he was reading down and looked straight at Marinette. "What's with your friend and her obsession with Ladybug?"

She looked back at him the moment he had finished his sentence, and looked at him blankly before she could put a word or two together.

"Oh, uh, Alya? Obsession? What do you mean?" Her words bled through, and jumbled together when they came out.

Of course Marinette knew about her best friend's mad tirade about finding out who was behind the spotted mask, she should've even been able to answer.

But the way he had brought it up... was so unexpected. In the middle of a project?

"Running in the other direction from safety to capture your favorite superhero in action sounds a bit like an obsession, to me at least."

"That's just something she likes to do, that's all." She was about to her back to work when she stopped herself again. "Wait. Do you know the name of her blog?"

Kenny shook his head.

She pulled out her phone from her purse, and went onto a website with a rather eye-popping color scheme of red and black. Whatever she was doing, she was at least good with making it identifiable from 50 feet away.

"It's called the Ladyblog. She updates it almost daily since she's always at the scene of action."

She scrolled down to another page on the blog, this time without a video of Ladybug and Chat Noir on the French news.

"When there isn't anything, she just likes to post theories about who Ladybug is and how she got her powers. She thinks it's a radioactive ladybug!" She laughed.

Kenny looked up to see Cartman looking right at him, totally enjoying the moment. When he saw Marinette look down, he made the okay sign on one hand and stuck his index finger on the other, slowly moving them closer until Kenny shot him a glare.

Cartman silently pouted and turned back to Chloé, who was most likely going to boss him around again.

"Reminder that these projects will be presented on after lunch on Wednesday!" Miss. Bustier was reading a book at her desk.

Marinette froze, and jolted from her seat, slamming the book she was holding onto the desk. "We're not going to have enough time to finish this! We're going to have to meet up after school, or before lunch tomorrow."

Kenny turned to her, and gave a little grin. "So you know we're always there now?"

"O-of course I do! I saw you on Monday! Did you already forget?"

"Why would I forget the place I've had lunch for the last 48 hours at?" His grin got a little wider, and a snicker blew from his nose.

This guy was already getting on her nerves, and maybe even her feelings. "So... uh, let's just say Wednesday tomorrow. Meet me at the bakery."

"Deal." He turned back to the book he was reading and wrote more notes. Marinette sighed to herself in relief.


	10. Chapter Ten

The school bell abruptly rang to signal to everyone that school had ended. Almost immediately, every chair screeched as it was being pushed back as the people who had sat their began to stand up.

"Don't forget about tomorrow!" Marinette yelled to Kenny as he alked towards his friends who were already standing near the door. He shot back a simple nod. And she waved back.

Kyle looked at Kenny as they walked out of the room. "Dude, you already... this early...?"

"No. It's just for the project."

They were walking down the stairs of the entrance when Stan almost tripped from staring down at his phone. He grabbed onto the railings to catch himself, and grabbed his phone while it was airborne.

"Oh, shit!" He clutched onto his phone, but was alerted with a notification. "What the hell is this?" He pressed onto a link which sent him to the same blog that Marinette had just shown Kenny only moments ago.

A video popped up onto his screen. It was the same video that they had seen right after the battle.

Despite this, Stan scrolled down. They probably didn't want to see the same video that they had just watched.

Cartman glanced from over his shoulder. " _Who is Mysterion?_ " He snickered. "It's not like literally everyone knows who he is."

"Well, watch the video!" Stan scrolled back up.

Alya had pulled up a clear picture of Mysterion and began circling around it with her mouse. " _Ladyblog! I think I might have a few leads on this guy!"_

" _Okay, this might sound crazy... but I have more than one idea on who he is, but they're only theories. I'll post about it tomorrow. Until then, stay tuned!"_

The video stopped. The Boys all glanced at each other, completely surprised.

"That's such a fucking cheat! She can't just discover who he is by one fucking video!" Cartman angrily spouted. "Someone has to fucking stop her!"

"I think I can." Kyle spoke up.

Cartman scoffed at the idea. "What are you going to do, use your Jew magic to force her to delete it again?"

"Dude, she's doing this on a blog. It's not that hard to hack into someone's blog, find and delete the post if she's got it queued, which she probably does."

"So you're just going to hack into her blog? Do we even have a computer to do it on?" Stan asked.

Kenny suddenly threw down his backpack and began to shuffle through it, until he stopped and began to mutter under his breath.

"What is it, dude?" They turned to him.

"Fuck, I forgot that fucking tablet we got in the classroom." He facepalmed, and sighed. "I swear to fucking God..."

"Are you sure that's his tablet, Marinette?" Tikki glanced down at the black tablet. "It could be anyone's."

"I'm sure it is. It was on the same table we worked at. I can't believe he even forgot it in the first place!"

Everyone received a tablet on the first day of school. They used them to read what was assigned and to work on assignments. Basically, if you didn't have one you were going to have a bad time.

"How are you going to give it back? You aren't seeing him until tomorrow."

Suddenly, nearby a group of boys began to laugh. Marinette looked from behind a wall. They were the same group of boys from lunch, with the same boy who had told Chloé off! She recognized him from the blue hat.

Tikki flew from her hiding spot. "You're going to give it to them? Are you even sure that they would even know who he is?"

"I saw him hanging out with them at lunch yesterday, you know, the same guys I told you about, right? I think they'd know where he'd be at!"

She looked down at the tablet, and then back at the group. "I'm going to do it." Tikki flew back into her purse.

When Craig's gang spotted Marinette walking up towards them, they became quiet and looked at her curiously.

Clyde snorted. "It's McCormick's bitch!" They shared a laugh quiet enough for Marinette not to hear.

"Everyone, shut the fuck up." Craig jumped off of the step that he had been sitting on.

He crossed his arms as Marinette stopped. "What do you want?"

"I was, uh... just, returning this tablet! You guys are, uh, friends with Kenny, right?"

He still looked at her blankly. "We're technically in his class."

"Good! So... can you just give this to him? He forgot it." She handed the tablet to him, which he reluctantly accepted and put in his bag.

She began to walk away. "Thanks a bunch!"

The group just sat there silently. "So, out of all of the girls in this school that he could possibly choose from, this is who he jerks off to?"

 _Later... at Hotel Grand Paris_

"Hey, dude." Craig walked up to Kenny sitting on the stairs in the hotel lobby, and pulled out the tablet from his backpack.

"Your little girlfriend wanted me to give this to you."

Kenny took the tablet and shoved it into his backpack. "Couldn't you have found a better name to call her?"

"Unless you wanted me to go with McCormick's bitch." He snickered. "Clyde had a field day with that one."

"What?" He stood up. "I swear to fucking God..."

"Jesus Christ, calm down! I don't think she even heard it! We all told him to shut up after he said it."

He sat back down. "If she brings it up, I swear to God he's not going to have any teeth at the end of this trip."

Craig smirked under his breath. "And you say you don't care about her."

Kenny, attempting to change the topic, looked towards one of the lobby computers and saw his friends crowding around it. "What the hell?"

He began to walk towards it with Craig trailing behind. When he got close, he saw Kyle on the Ladyblog with Cartman and Stan next to him. The rest of Craig's gang and Butters were not far behind.

Jimmy pointed at the screen. "W-w-write that Mysterion's a Crip and she's gonna have to pass the blood onto the nigga on the left if she wants to find him."

When the crowd didn't answer back, he just smiled. "Wow, what a terrific audience."

"Jimmy, Mysterion's right behind you." Craig countered.

The group turned to see them both, which gave them the opportunity to see what was going on. Like he had promised, Kyle had gotten onto them Ladyblog and somehow logged in.

"Oh, hey Kenny!" Butters gleefully chirped. "We got onto Kyle's girlfriend's-"

"Alya isn't Kyle's girlfriend, Butters!" Stan yelled.

Kenny shoved his way towards the front until he was literally right next to Kyle, who was still typing. Slowly, he read what Kyle had written. "What are we doing again?"

Kyle stopped what he had been doing and turned to him. "Butters literally got the password on the first try. I think it was 'iloveladybug' or something. We're just thinking of what we're going to do when we find her theory."

He kept scrolling through the flashy, multicolored blog that looked even worse to Kenny now that's it was on a computer. So many neon reds and pop-ups that Teacher PC would consider it some form of microagression. Then, out of nowhere Clyde pointed at the screen.

"I think it might be that! Holy shit!"

Kyle stopped, and began to read it. A quiet murmur erupted throughout the group until Kyle highlighted a section of the text. "Kenny, you might want to read this."

Everyone around them suddenly became silent and stiff as if they had turned into statues as they watched Kenny recite the highlighted section. He then squinted his eyes in confusion, looked at Kyle, and suddenly bursted into laughter and facepalmed.

Kyle looked up at him in surprise. "What?"

"She thinks that Mysterion's the teen model superstar Stan had to work with!" With every word he shouted, Kenny wheezed. He couldn't fathom what had been written. He couldn't even picture seeing him jump around and beat people up. From what he had seen of him, he was way too kindhearted for that.

"Wait, seriously?" Cartman looked at the screen and also began to erupt in laughter. "Holy shit, this is comedy gold!"

"Sorry, but there's no way someone could make the connection. Even if we didn't know who Mysterion actually was, Adrien doesn't even have the same eyes. His are green." Stan added. "Are people in Paris just this retarded?"

Kyle, ignoring everyone began to do what he set out to, by deleting it. He then opened a new page and began typing with everyone around him quietly observing him. As soon as he was finsined, he set it to the queue for tomorrow, saved changes, and slumped in his chair.

He then got up, and glared at everyone around him. "None of you _dare_ say a fucking word of what happened today. If you do, I swear to fucking God I'll knock the teeth in of whoever's mouth it came out of."

Kyle then walked away casually. Everyone looked at one another. Cartman then began to chuckle. "Do you guys actually think a fucking Jew can beat you guys up? God, you guys are honestly so pathetic."

"Seeing him knock you up a couple few times and you crying like a little bitch everytime tells me something else." Kenny rolled his eyes and followed him. Soon, both Cartman and Stan did so too.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Wednesday**

 _Miss. Mendeleiev's classroom, Collége Françoise DuPont_

" _Once again, Ladybug, Cat Noir and the new unknown vigilante named Mysterion have saved Paris from yet another menacing villain!"_ The same news announcer gleefully announced as a clip of Mysterion and Cat Noir holding off the akumatized villain as Ladybug tied them with her yo-yo played in the background.

Stan and Cartman were hovering around Kyle's phone as the news report was playing.

"Turn the volume up, Jew!" Cartman grabbed Kyle's phone and put it on full blast. In response, he socked him in the arm.

The scene changed to show her standing next to Mysterion, with his arms crossed bemused about what was happening.

" _While Ladybug and Cat Noir were not able to do so, we were fortunate to get a chance with Mysterion to talk about his experience,"_ she quickly shoved a microphone into his face, much to his displeasure. " _So, how did it feel working with Paris's greatest superheroes?"_

He looked at the camera. " _It's an experience."_ He clearly looked like he didn't want to talk.

" _An experience? Well... that's not very descriptive but that can still work. So, from the video, we can see that you worked with Cat Noir for the majority of the fight. How was that?"_

" _He makes too many puns. Funny, I have to admit."_ Mysterion let out a slight chuckle. " _But when we're responsible for fighting someone which the ability to freeze anyone at will, it gets annoying."_

" _Ooh! Freeze anyone at will? Tell me, what was the villain like?"_

" _She could freeze anyone when she used her wand and got around my making an icy path and skating on it if that interests you. We had to melt the ice using a blow-dryer."_

He looked at the grandfather clock that was behind him. " _Listen, I know this was short but I really have to get going. Duty calls."_

Duty didn't call. He just had to get back to school before he was late and find the classroom he was supposed to be in.

" _That's okay."_ She turned back to the camera. " _Well, that was Mysterion, but will he be here for long? This is Nadja Chamack, signing off. Don't be bemused, it's just the news!"_

Just as the screen flashed to black, Kenny slammed the door open and ran to his seat. Almost immediately, he ran to where the rest of his friends were. He put his backpack on the ground, and when he spotted a hint of the purple cape out in the open, he shoved it into his backpack as quickly as possible and pulled out his tablet.

"You got it back?" Kyle asked.

"We don't have to guess who had it before."

The Boys shared a laugh.

"How'd you get here so early?" Stan quietly asked, aware that Alya wasn't far from where they were standing.

Kenny shrugged. "It wasn't that far away from here."

The school bell rang, and everyone got back to their seats. Their chemistry teacher for the week walked into the room and set her bag on the chair before she pulled out a clipboard, carefully marking who was and wasn't absent.

"Marinette?" She looked around the classroom. "Marinette Dupain-Cheng? Is Marinette here-"

Suddenly, Marinette burst through the door in a similar fashion has Kenny only a few minutes ago and slid into her seat.

"This is the fifth time this happened this month." She grumbled. "Marinette, please walk in quietly if you're coming in late."

She sighed. "Sorry, Miss. Mendeleiev."

Almost immediately Stan, Kyle, and Cartman turned to Kenny.

"Dude, why the hell are the both of you late?" Kyle asked, totally shocked.

"Did you... you know..." Cartman peered at Marinette.

"I was on TV, you dumbasses. Did you not see me?" Kenny whispered sharply.

"Yeah, but you could've still been in TV and-"

"Anyways, for any students from South Park High School currently in this class, my name is Miss. Mendeleiev, and I will be your chemistry teacher for the time being. And with that, I have some rules and expectations that I heavily advise you should follow if you want to stay on my good side."

"One, no cell phones are allowed anywhere near my sight." She walked up to Kyle and without any haste, grabbed his phone with ease. "Since you're a new student, I'll be giving you _one_ warning. Anytime I see this it will be confiscated."

Cartman laughed. "Ha! You fucking-"

"And number two, no foul language anywhere in the classroom, young man!"

"Any other rule I have would most likely be the same as in any American chemistry class, so I hope you four actually paid attention the first week of chemistry."

She walked back towards her desk. "Since I've only been given a small amount of time to work with you, we will be working on a project on nuclear physics that requires you to work in groups, and I hope you four boys have made friends outside of your little _penguin huddle_ I saw before class."

She stood up from where she had been sitting. "Eric, Chloé, and Sabrina."

Cartman immediately jolted from his seat in shock with Kenny and Kyle laughing.

"Stan, Adrien, and Nino." Adrien and Nino high-fived.

"Kyle, Alya, and Kim." Stan looked at Kyle with a small smirk.

"Kenny, Marinette, and Nathaniel." As soon as the said the last name, The Boys all immediately turned to Kenny who also looked shocked at what had just occurred.


	12. Chapter Twelve

"Since Miss. Bustier has told me about your surprisingly good work ethic, I'll leave you alone for the time being while I grab some papers for the next class. But still, please contain yourselves." She walked out of the classroom, leaving the door open.

When everyone began to move, Kenny walked towards the bare table where Nathaniel had been sitting, who upon seeing him flinched in shock.

Two days in and already someone was scared of him. Kenny sighed. He was hoping not to be some sort of Trent Boyett clone here.

"Dude, I know what happened yesterday. And I just want to say that I don't care."

Nathaniel still looked down. This was going to be weird. Kenny pulled out the chair next to him and hoped to make some sense.

"I know that you think I'm a dick for what happened Tuesday, but to be honest I have more things that I'm worried about over a drawing. But to be fair, that drawing is a shit ton better than anything I could do."

"So let's just put this past us for now and work on this project. I don't bite." Kenny promised. When he saw Nathaniel look up and nod in agreement, he was relieved.

On the other side of the room, Chloé was painting on another opaque white coat onto her nails when her phone buzzed.

"Sabrina!" She barked, and Sabrina did what she was told by retrieving Chloé's phone from her designer purse.

"I-It's about the Ladyblog."

She grabbed it with her already-dried hand and pulled it up. When she saw what Alya had to say, she signaled for Cartman to come over. When they both finished reading, they let out ferocious howls of laughter.

"What sort of garbage journalism is this?" Cartman sneered.

Alya got out of her seat. " _Excuse me?_ Garbage journalism?"

Chloé found the perfect moment. "You _really_ think Mysterion is Eric Cartman? What kind of idiot would actually fall for that?"

The whole class went silent. Kyle, even quieter. Stan and Kenny quietly peered at him in confusion.

"I-I never even wrote that!" Alya countered

"Then who did? You're the only one who has access to the Ladyblog so _you_ wrote it! Don't try to play games with us, Alya!"

Alya curled her fists and began to grit her teeth. Kyle was mentally pleading for Cartman to do the unthinkable and not pull a dick move by saying who actually wrote it.

"What's wrong, Alya? Did I spoil it for everyone?" She motioned Cartman to out of his seat, who laughed with her. "Who here wants an autograph from the totally real Mysterion?"

In defeat, Alya walked towards Chloé and pointed at her. "You might think you're so tough, but one day you'll be sorry for _everything_ you've done, you super-psycho!" She walked out of the door and slammed it ferociously. She even sounded like she was choking tears.

Satisfied, Chloé sat back down. Cartman, in pure shock, laughed in confusion but got quiet when the other three Boys glared at him. Kyle began to look around to see if anyone had somehow caught onto him, but looked back at what he was doing, shocked and saddened.

 _Hawkmoth's Lair, Paris_

The window opened to reveal the same room from Tuesday, with butterflies still flying carelessly around. "The white lies that one will make to keep themself safe at the expense of others. The perfect formula of defeat, frustration, and anger."

A butterfly landed on his palm, which he encased releasing dark purple magic to make another akuma.

As the butterfly flew away, he slammed his cane onto the floor, erupting through the sounds of the butterflies. "Fly away, little akuma. And evilize her once more!"

"Kyle, what the hell did you do?" Kenny asked.

After class was over, The Boys began to interrogate him. It made sense, anyone would want to know how one were to unintentionally caused a potential akumatization.

"Listen... I only wrote that she thought it was Cartman. Because who would be retarded enough to believe a fatass was doing flips on a rooftop?"

"Hey! I'm not fat, I'm big-boned, you fucking Jew! You should be grateful my ass didn't say _you_ were the one that wrote it!"

Kyle ignored the comment and held the door open as the four walked out.

"And you shouldn't be saying anything, fatass. You laughed with Chloé. You're no better." Kenny countered.

"Don't you have to be at some chick's house today?" Stan suddenly asked trying to change the topic. At that moment everyone around him put aside their differences and erupted in shit-eating grins.

Kenny sighed. "You all seem _so_ excited."

 _Outside of Tom and Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie_

"Cartman, you're making yourself look retarded. What are you doing?" Stan glared at Cartman, who had been sifting through his backpack.

He pulled out a small, green spray. Suddenly, he ran up to Kenny and sprayed whatever was in it into his mouth who then began choking on whatever Cartman had put into his mouth.

It had a minty taste. He had tried to use breath spray on him for some odd reason.

"What the fuck was that for, asshole?" Kenny wheezed between every breath.

"Yeah, dude. What the hell?" Kyle asked.

"It's breath spray, dickhead. You already smell like ass, when you're both slobbering your tongues together I thought you could use some."

"You could've at least warned me about it, damnit!" Whatever left that was in his throat was gone. He then threw on his backpack and went in.

When he got inside, the same man from Monday was at the counter. Large and burly, he probably didn't want to pick a fight with that guy. He probably would've been crushed by his hands alone.

He looked up and smiled. "Looks like you guys are back! Guess I should ring up your order."

"No, uh, not me. I'm here to see Marinette."

The man looked up. "She's not here right now." He began to tense up. "Are you one of her classmates?"

"We've been here for a week."

"I'm still not sure, I think I should call her." He reached through his pocket and pulled out his phone.

Outside of the restaurant, the Boys were sitting at a table when Marinette ran towards them.

"Is Kenny already there?"

"He's been there for a while." Stan was typing on his phone, most likely texting to Wendy but stopped to look into the window. "Is that your dad yelling at him..?"

"Oh no." Marinette immediately ran for the door.

When she opened it, Kenny was already inside, probably getting a stern talk from her dad. "He's one of my classmates! He's my partner for the project!" She closed the door. "Sorry about my dad. He can be a bit rough around people he doesn't know."

"Well then." He moved out of the way, revealing an opening between the waiting room and behind the counter. "I should've been a little more gentle on you. My name's Mr. Dupain. I'm Marinette's dad."

"I knew you were one of her classmates the moment I saw you." The petite Asian woman from before, presumably her mother, "He must've lashed at you for being a boy."

"I have one question though. About your friend with the raspberry macaroons. Does he eat them all?" She looked worried.

"Of course- I mean, he does." Kenny put his parka on the couch in the living room.

"Oh no!" She ran to pick it up, and placed in on a hanger. "I probably should have showed you where the closet was."

"Uh, yeah. Thanks, Mom!" Marinette walked up a nearby staircase and opened a hatch on the ceiling. "My room is up here."

But for some reason, while he knew why he was here, he, for some odd reason, wanted to stay by them. They were obviously gentle and good-natured, and actually seemed to care about her.

His parents were the absolute opposite. They didn't give a fuck whether he or any of his siblings starved or froze to death. They were absolute addicts, who constantly fed their drug and alcohol addictions with whatever money they got by with. He guessed that he must taken on an addiction of his own, but not from what his parents had, but for love.

And he had already found his dealer.

Marinette threw open the hatch. "Everything's set up on my desk-" She stopped to look at him. "Yeah. Everyone has the same face when they see my room for the first time."

It must've originally been an attic, because he had never seen a room so spacious, and pink. Everywhere he looked, there were multiple shades of it.

He stepped off of the stairs and onto the wooden floor, and gaped in shock. Maybe Cartman was right about the French having it easy as much as he hated to admit it.

"I got a bunch of books from the library yesterday and some stuff for the poster- Did I even bring it upstairs? Hold on, let me check."

Almost immediately Marinette jumped down from her room back down to the floor below.

She ran into the bathroom, and opened her purse.

"Tikki, this is going to be so embarrassing! What am I going to do?" She put her hands on her head. "I forgot to take down most of the photos of Adrien! And my background!"

"Did he even notice?" Tikki countered.

"I don't think so."

"Then it's not even the big deal you're making it out to be."

There was a knock on the door.

"Marinette, are you looking for the posterboard?" It was her mother.

"Yeah. Why?"

"I have it with me. But I don't know why you were in the bathroom looking for it."


	13. Chapter Thirteen

Author's Note: **Long time no see! Thanks for all the notes, likes and follows! I just want to say that I'm making the chapters longer, since no one wants to read so little. Again, leave critiques in the notes! It's really appreciated!**

"Sorry about what happened, again."

She placed the posterboard onto whatever space was left on the desk. "I think all we have left is just to put everything on here."

"A for the effort." Kenny laughed.

They both sat down on the identical chairs nearby. "I don't really have any idea on what we should put on it first, honestly," he admitted. "Do you?"

"Actually, I do." She pulled out a pack of markers. "Are you decent at art?"

He took one of the markers, the black one. "I guess I am."

"We could draw a skyline at the bottom, since it's New York. This thing's pretty big, so I think the both of us should work on it together."

She then pulled out a pack of large, golden letters. "These are for the title at the top."

He looked at the supplies and snickered to himself. "You're way more prepared for this than I am at this."

Suddenly, Marinette's computer turned on, but immediately flashed to static before the screen turned into what could be a seizure-enduring scene of neon purples and white.

"What the hell?" Kenny covered his eyes. "Did you turn it on?"

"No!" Marinette attempted to turn of the screen, but to no avail. Instead, the screen flashed to a familiar figure in from of the Hôtel Le Grand Paris.

 _"Attention all citizens of Paris. Long time no see, and hello to some new faces visiting us. I am Lady Wifi, revealer of the truth and destroyer of lies! I've come to you with the news story that you never knew you wanted, the scoop on who dared destroy the hard work of the Ladyblog!"_

Kenny took out his phone and took a photo of Marinette's screen. Without haste, he opened the small group chat that he, Kyle, Stan, and Cartman formed and posted it with a signature caption:

 _"Kyle! Your girlfriend's on her period! Get her a tampon!"_

Kenny then turned to Marinette, who was as shocked as he was but not as confused. This must've been more common than he thought.

"Whatever Chloé and Cartman did must've _really_ pissed her off."

"But who would do such a thing? Just hack into her blog like that?"

"Someone with a vengeance and _really_ good skill." Someone like Kyle Broflovski, who he wouldn't dare mention to save face.

"Or Chloé could've hired someone to do it. But who?" No one hired Kyle to do anything.

Suddenly, Marinette ran for the hatch and opened it. "I'm really sorry again, but I, uh, forgot my... special drawing pens downstairs!" She laughed awkwardly. "Be right back!"

Whatever. It gave him time to become Mysterion and kick ass. He then opened his backpack and pulled out the purple costume.

Marinette jumped down and went back into the bathroom, and opened her purse as Tikki zoomed out.

"I can't believe Chloé would do something so ridiculous! I thought she liked the Ladyblog!"

"Be careful, Marinette! It won't be the same like the last time you fought her! She could be even more powerful, perhaps more than the Evillustrator!"

"I think we've got this. Mysterion's able to handle it."

"If you're confident in what you say, I believe you."

Marinette swiped her earring. "Tikki, _spots on!_ Yeah!"

 _Outside Tom and Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie_

Cartman snorted at Kenny's message. "I can't believe Kenny roasted your ass!"

"Shut the fuck up, Cartman! You do know that if you had just kept your fucking mouth shut, maybe this wouldn't have happened!" Kyle retorted.

"Oh, yeah? Well, maybe if you didn't Jew all of us by hacking into that fucking blog of hers, maybe this shit wouldn't have happened! But _no,_ you're just a fucking Jew!" Cartman retorted.

"I didn't mean for that to happen! It was you and Chloé who took everything too far for a retarded joke that hurt her! You should fucking think before you say anything!" Kyle got louder.

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Oh, Kyle! You think you're the better person in this because you act nice? At least I'm not the one who started it!"

"You're the one who pissed her off, fatass!"

"What are you going to do about it now? Jew yourself out like you usually do so you can get into her pants-"

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH, CARTMAN!" Kyle roared.

They got quiet. Stan stood up. "You both need to fucking calm down-"

Their phones suddenly began to vibrate rapidly and flash into the same colors as Marinette's computer. They dropped their phones onto the table until the colors turned into an ear-piercing static. It was like watching the last breaths of a dying animal but digital.

The screens manually turned to black, and to the same scene, but this time with a absolutely terrified Butters held hostage.

"Butters is gonna say it's you. Watch." Cartman snickered.

 _"Is it true that you saw the bully, criminal, and scum who got into the Ladyblog and made those rude and demeaning edits?"_

Butters just looked into the camera terrified.

 _"Hello? I'm not waiting all day for you to tell me if you did!"_

 _"Y-y-yeah."_ He gulped.

 _"Then tell all of Paris who did it."_

Butters gulped, but kept his mouth shut. Surprisingly out of character for him.

 _"You're no help to the mission, then."_ She swiped on her phone and trapped the blonde behind a bright pink pause button, which stopped him in place. _"Next time, I'll find out who Mysterion really is under that mask. Stay connected!"_

The screen turned to black.

"Do you guys think Kenny would punch a girl in the face if he had to?" Stan asked.

 _Le Hôtel Grand Paris_

Cat Noir stood on the rooftoops near the grand hotel, waiting for his two accomplices, but looked into the window, pondering on what Chloé had said during chemistry.

There was _no way_ that Mysterion was Eric Cartman, whether Alya meant it or not. Aside from the, well, _obvious_ physical difference, he just found it silly that one of Chloé's new lackies or possibly her second-in-command would be empathetic enough to do what the caped vigilante had done.

But what if Alya had written that _he_ was Mysterion? That was ridiculous, but certainly possible. After all, they looked similar if not like twins! He just hoped Mysterion's ice blue eyes cut him off the list.

"Boo."

Cat frantically turned around to see Mysterion waving slowly. The masked man laughed.

"I hope you don't think I'm Eric Cartman too."

He got up. "No way! It was too obvious that was a lie. I mean... you don't even _look_ like him!"

"I was hoping I didn't have the cholesterol levels of a seventy year old man." Mysterion giggled slightly as he then peered over at the hotel. "What about this one?"

"Lady WiFi. Her powers come from her phone. You've probably seen her message to all of Paris to how she's going to find out who you really are."

He'd already had the pleasure of witnessing one of her messages from Marinette's room, but not one on him. Mysterion placed his hand onto his chest. "About me? How flattering."

"The last time we fought her, we stopped her by getting to the source of the signal, but she's probably got a few tricks up her sleeves."

A yo-yo then zipped by and tied itself to a nearby chimney. Ladybug jumped from the rooftop behind them and landed exactly in between.

"Sorry to interrupt your little bonding moment but we've got a WiFi bandit on our hands!"

Mysterion looked forward, eager to get this over with. "Then let's get WiFi!"

However, when Ladybug threw her yo-yo, it hit the air around them like there clear wall in front of them, and turned back and almost hit the trio as if it were a boomerang.

"What the hell?" Mysterion asked.

Where the yo-yo landed, a dome of transparent. orange erupted as a screen lit up in the sky.

 _"Did you really think that I was just going to let you inside? Well, control X that idea, because you'll have to get through my firewall! This baby will give me unlimited service, so don't think running to the basement will help you!"_

 _"I'll be waiting for you, if you can even get through!"_ Lady WiFi cackled as she swiped on her phone and the screen went away.

"How are we going to get through that thing?" Cat Noir asked. "We're really _playing_ _with fire!"_

Ladybug quickly glanced around until she spotted something, and came up with an idea. "The only way we're going to break that firewall is by weakening her service. She must be using any WiFi she can get!"

"Then we'll have to build a stronger signal to get through." Mysterion looked at Ladybug's yo-yo and Cat Noir's baton. "What can you use these things for?"

Cat Noir picked his baton. "A lot of things."

"Let's see if they can call." Mysterion grabbed both weapons and tied them together. After doing so, he began to swing the megaweapon.

"What the?" Ladybug looked at it in confusion. "Are you trying to call someone on my yo-yo?"

It was a little trick he had learned from Kyle, who learned how to phreak over the summer before freshman year and taught his friends the basics.

They'd done the basic 2600 hZ trick a couple few times, but this one was different. They'd use two different phones, put them near each other and call the same number. Putting them together, they could get into any phone line they desired. Poor Mr. Mackey and the Stotches were usually the victims.

"She's probably using the service of peoples' phones to make her stronger. Like I said, we just need a stronger signal to get past." He hoped he had explained it as good as Kyle did when they tried it.

He swung the yo-yo around, and hit the firewall hard enough that a hole big enough for them to get past broke through.

"That actually worked!" Cat Noir exclaimed in surprise.

"It did!" Mysterion briefly broke out of character and gaped in awe from his accomplishment.

"Well, what are you guys waiting for?" Ladybug took her yo-yo back, and began to swing it around her. "Let's really get WiFi!"

"Impossible! How'd they already get through my firewall?" Lady WiFi grunted in frustration. This was not going to work the way she intended. Now for Plan B.

Then, a butterfly patten appeared onto her face.

 _"Remember why I even chose to give you these powers, WiFi. I want the Ladybug and Cat Miraculouses, and whatever that vigilante has!"_ Hawkmoth demanded. _"I'm not playing silly games for this!"_

"I'm on it!" Lady WiFi grunted and ran into the hallway, unexpectedly running into the trio.

"Service's down, WiFi! You have no choice but to _log off_ and _shut down!"_ Cat Noir retorted.

"You two romantics? And your little third wheel? Funny enough, Mysterion, you just fell face first into your own trap!" She whipped out her phone, and swiped a pause button right at him. He jumped away but she kept swiping at them, trying to get the perfect shot.

"This hallway is too narrow! We're going to have to get to somewhere bigger!" Ladybug yelled.

"You two try to distract her!" Mysterion quickly glanced at Lady WiFi, and then back at the bug and cat duo. "I'll tell you later!" He immediately ran for the stairs.

 _"Focus on Ladybug and Cat Noir, not him! He's only a distraction! Get their Miraculouses! Now!"_ Hawkmoth demanded again.

Mysterion jumped through the staircases until he reached the first floor and bursted out. Outside, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman were waiting patiently.

"Let me guess, you phreaked through? Told you that would be useful!" Kyle smirked. "Didn't I?"

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Whatever, man."

"I'm going to try getting everyone out of here. She's draining all our phones for everything they've got!" Mysterion turned to Kyle. "Do you think you can try to break through this thing?"

"I can try. This thing's fucking huge."

"Don't give me the try bullshit. Just do it." Mysterion began walking away.

"Hey. I won't be doing shit like this for free for you if you call Alya my fucking girlfriend again, asshole. Got it?"

Mysterion chuckled as he opened the slide doors.


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Author's Note : The phreaking trick is fictional. Please don't try it at home! It probably doesn't even work, even on a landline.**

 _Le Hôtel Grand Paris_

Cat Noir stood on the rooftoops near the grand hotel, waiting for his two accomplices, but looked into the window, pondering on what Chloé had said during chemistry.

There was _no way_ that Mysterion was Eric Cartman, whether Alya meant it or not. Aside from the, well, _obvious_ physical difference, he just found it silly that one of Chloé's new lackies or possibly her second-in-command would be empathetic enough to do what the caped vigilante had done.

But what if Alya had written that _he_ was Mysterion? That was ridiculous, but certainly possible. After all, they looked similar if not like twins! He just hoped Mysterion's ice blue eyes cut him off the list.

"Boo."

Cat frantically turned around to see Mysterion waving slowly. The masked man laughed.

"I hope you don't think I'm Eric Cartman too."

He got up. "No way! It was too obvious that was a lie. I mean... you don't even _look_ like him!"

"I was hoping I didn't have the cholesterol levels of a seventy year old man." Mysterion giggled slightly as he then peered over at the hotel. "What about this one?"

"Lady WiFi. Her powers come from her phone. You've probably seen her message to all of Paris to how she's going to find out who you really are."

He'd already had the pleasure of witnessing one of her messages from Marinette's room, but not one on him. Mysterion placed his hand onto his chest. "About me? How flattering."

"The last time we fought her, we stopped her by getting to the source of the signal, but she's probably got a few tricks up her sleeves."

A yo-yo then zipped by and tied itself to a nearby chimney. Ladybug jumped from the rooftop behind them and landed exactly in between.

"Sorry to interrupt your little bonding moment but we've got a WiFi bandit on our hands!"

Mysterion looked forward, eager to get this over with. "Then let's get WiFi!"

However, when Ladybug threw her yo-yo, it hit the air around them like there clear wall in front of them, and turned back and almost hit the trio as if it were a boomerang.

"What the hell?" Mysterion asked.

Where the yo-yo landed, a dome of transparent. orange erupted as a screen lit up in the sky.

 _"Did you really think that I was just going to let you inside? Well, control X that idea, because you'll have to get through my firewall! This baby will give me unlimited service, so don't think running to the basement will help you!"_

 _"I'll be waiting for you, if you can even get through!"_ Lady WiFi cackled as she swiped on her phone and the screen went away.

"How are we going to get through that thing?" Cat Noir asked. "We're really _playing_ _with fire!"_

Ladybug quickly glanced around until she spotted something, and came up with an idea. "The only way we're going to break that firewall is by weakening her service. She must be using any WiFi she can get!"

"Then we'll have to build a stronger signal to get through." Mysterion looked at Ladybug's yo-yo and Cat Noir's baton. "What can you use these things for?"

Cat Noir picked his baton. "A lot of things."

"Let's see if they can call." Mysterion grabbed both weapons and tied them together. After doing so, he began to swing the megaweapon.

"What the?" Ladybug looked at it in confusion. "Are you trying to call someone on my yo-yo?"

It was a little trick he had learned from Kyle, who learned how to phreak over the summer before freshman year and taught his friends the basics.

They'd done the basic 2600 hZ trick a couple few times, but this one was different. They'd use two different phones, put them near each other and call the same number. Putting them together, they could get into any phone line they desired. Poor Mr. Mackey and the Stotches were usually the victims.

"She's probably using the service of peoples' phones to make her stronger. Like I said, we just need a stronger signal to get past." He hoped he had explained it as good as Kyle did when they tried it.

He swung the yo-yo around, and hit the firewall hard enough that a hole big enough for them to get past broke through.

"That actually worked!" Cat Noir exclaimed in surprise.

"It did!" Mysterion briefly broke out of character and gaped in awe from his accomplishment.

"Well, what are you guys waiting for?" Ladybug took her yo-yo back, and began to swing it around her. "Let's really get WiFi!"

"Impossible! How'd they already get through my firewall?" Lady WiFi grunted in frustration. This was not going to work the way she intended. Now for Plan B.

Then, a butterfly patten appeared onto her face.

 _"Remember why I even chose to give you these powers, WiFi. I want the Ladybug and Cat Miraculouses, and whatever that vigilante has!"_ Hawkmoth demanded. _"I'm not playing silly games for this!"_

"I'm on it!" Lady WiFi grunted and ran into the hallway, unexpectedly running into the trio.

"Service's down, WiFi! You have no choice but to _log off_ and _shut down!"_ Cat Noir retorted.

"You two romantics? And your little third wheel? Funny enough, Mysterion, you just fell face first into your own trap!" She whipped out her phone, and swiped a pause button right at him. He jumped away but she kept swiping at them, trying to get the perfect shot.

"This hallway is too narrow! We're going to have to get to somewhere bigger!" Ladybug yelled.

"You two try to distract her!" Mysterion quickly glanced at Lady WiFi, and then back at the bug and cat duo. "I'll tell you later!" He immediately ran for the stairs.

 _"Focus on Ladybug and Cat Noir, not him! He's only a distraction! Get their Miraculouses! Now!"_ Hawkmoth demanded again.

Mysterion jumped through the staircases until he reached the first floor and bursted out. Outside, Stan, Kyle, and Cartman were waiting patiently.

"Let me guess, you phreaked through? Told you that would be useful!" Kyle smirked. "Didn't I?"

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Whatever, man."

"I'm going to try getting everyone out of here. She's draining all our phones for everything they've got!" Mysterion turned to Kyle. "Do you think you can try to break through this thing?"

"I can try. This thing's fucking huge."

"Don't give me the try bullshit. Just do it." Mysterion began walking away.

"Hey. I won't be doing shit like this for free for you if you call Alya my fucking girlfriend again, asshole. Got it?"

Mysterion chuckled as he opened the slide doors.


	15. Chapter Fifteen

"Are you sure you can actually break through that thing?" Stan looked down at Kyle, who was fishing through his backpack. "Thing's fucking huge!"

Cartman touched the wall but retracted his hand almost immediately. "Ah, fuck! It burns too!"

"It's a firewall, fatass. _Fire_ wall." Kyle sighed and took out his laptop. "Usually you just use a proxy to get through a normal firewall but probably not for one that's literal, but I can try."

"And what the fuck is that going to do?"

"Since everyone's connected to the service tower the hotel roof, I'm guessing that's where the source of her powers are. We're going to have to try jacking the hotel WiFi."

Stan looked at Kyle with an eyebrow arched down. "Are you even sure that's legal?"

"Whatever, man. It's for a good cause." He turned on the laptop, took out a wireless receptor from the front pocket of his backpack and did what he was set out to do. Immediately after turning it on, he opened an application that showed a bunch of numbers and codes.

"That's pretty much every network at the moment. The hotel WiFi is the one below it since they share the same IP."

"How'd you even know if it's even the hotel's WiFi?" Stan asked.

"He's Jewish. They're good with numbers!" Cartman let out a shit-eating grin.

He then opened another applicator and typed out a string of codes. The antenna on the wireless receiver let out a blue light and beeped for a few seconds.

"It's set up. I need you guys to connect to it." Kyle took the laptop and the receiver, and placed them in his backpack but didn't zip it. "I'll see if I can get Butters and everyone out!"

Stan and Cartman looked at Kyle in confusion as if he was planning a suicide mission. Technically, putting yourself in front of a literal supervillain who could stop anyone at will from her fingertips could be considered somewhere in that category, but that didn't seem to phase him.

"Are you sure, dude? You saw what she did with Butters." Stan reminded him.

Cartman quickly glanced the firewall. "And that shit would probably burn you to a crisp faster than a Nazi ever dreamed they could. But that would be funny."

Kyle rolled his eyes. He then made the clearly intelligent decision of putting his entire arm in, which surprisingly made it through without any degree burn. He pulled it out again and wove it around.

"It worked!" Kyle exclaimed, totally relieved that his work wasn't for nothing. "If we can get everyone to connect, this thing will be down in no time!"

"Okay, but quick question Jew boy. What are _we_ going to be doing? Are you seriously Jewing us right now?" Cartman yelled.

"Shut the fuck up and just wait outside!" Kyle ran through the firewall as if nothing were there, and swung open the doors, eager to get it over with.

"You and that little lovebug of yours are going to have to give up eventually! Why bother?" Lady WiFi smirked as she kept attacking the bug and cat duo with pause buttons.

Cat Noir jumped onto a nearby table. "This is fun and all, but where's that _purr-_ ple cape when you need him? Did he just run off?"

Ladybug threw her yo-yo at WiFi hoping that she had finally caught her in her tracks, but she disappeared and reappeared from a nearby phone on another table. "Catch me if you can! Oh, wait! Probably not!"

Then, the table flew into the air, and Lady WiFi pummeled onto the floor. Mysterion ran from where he had been standing and tried to clasp onto her nearby phone.

"I think you'll be the one who'll have to reboot and try again. I've already got someone taking down that stupid firewall."

She teleported to the other side of the room. "You think I care about that thing?" She then got back to work and chased them away from the restaurant that they had called their battleground.

"What did she mean by that?" Cat Noir swung the doors open and ran into the hallway.

"I don't know! But we're going to have to find a way to get her signal down again!" Ladybug ran into a narrow turn in the hallway trying to avoid the flurry of pause buttons.

Mysterion was also running but stopped midway. Instead of following the two, he turned around and ran back into the kitchen. "You guys try and get everyone out! They're all on the second floor! I'll take her on for myself!"

"What are you doing? That isn't safe!" Cat Noir yelled.

"But we have to get everyone out first before WiFi gets to them before we do!" Ladybug reminded. She ran into a nearby staircase and down to the second floor. Chat soon followed.

In her sight, she smirked. "Well, well, well. Looks like we're at the part of the final showdown. The hero against the villain. But this time, the world will finally see who you _really_ are!"

The two then began to duel. Every time she swiped on her phone, he dodged it any way he could. Flips, somersaults, and rolls. He ran towards each table that she was standing on, but every time he got close enough to flip them, she disappeared.

"What the fuck?" He turned around, but it was too late. The supervillain had slipped a cellphone through Mysterion's legs and appeared behind him.

She swiped, but he was only inches away. He jumped as far as he could, but hit a nearby chair and tripped. As he rolled through the empty restaurant floors, he clenched his abdomen but got up.

"In my opinion, you should ditch the cape. It does you no good, just makes it easier for me to finish you off!" She mocked Mysterion as she finally got the perfect shot, and locked his arms onto a nearby wall.

The grip tightened around him, and he began trying to wiggle out but to no use.

Then, Lady WiFi swiped another icon from her phone, but not the same icon that he was so used to dodging. Instead, it was a video camera.

"The scoop you've all been waiting for! Who is this masked vigilante? Paris, it's time that we learned who Mysterion really is, once and for all!"

She let out a devilish grin as she walked towards him, ready to claim her prize. He grunted in frustration towards himself. _Could this be the end of Mysterion?_


	16. Chapter Sixteen

Kyle ran up the stairs and through the hallways until he found Butters's room. He opened the door, and threw it open to see Butters frozen in the same spot he had been through the entire ordeal.

"Butters? Oh my God!" He ran up to the lifeless figure. "We have to get you out of here!"

Then, he saw the blonde's sky blue eyes move around frantically until they focused onto the redhead. He could see him begin to tear up.

"How are we going to get rid of that thing?" He began to look around the room, searching for something that could jam the signal again. It would take a stronger wavelength to break this. He then stumbled upon the microwave near the television.

That used waves, maybe that could work on the glowing pink icon. He unplugged it, moved it closer to Butters and plugged it in again. Setting the timer for thirty minutes, he waited, trying to be patient until he could see the icon slowly fading away.

Butters then collapsed onto the floor. It worked!

"Oh, hamburgers! What happened?" He got up, swiped his pants, and looked up at Kyle. "Thank goodness it's you and not that WiFi lady!"

"We have to get out of here! Ladybug and Cat Noir probably have everyone else by now!" He grabbed Butters's hand and bolted out of the room and down the stairs until he saw the bug and cat duo with the rest of his class.

Ladybug and Cat Noir walked up to the two. "Did you see Mysterion while you were upstairs?"

"No." Then, a screen showed up on the walls of the hotel lobby, showing Mysterion's arms locked on the kitchen walls and Lady WiFi laughing in a supposed victory. The whole room became quiet.

"No, no, no! I told him it would be dangerous if he stayed there!" Cat Noir repeated.

"You guys can still stop her!" Butters exclaimed gleefully, oblivious to the fact that if Kenny was exposed once and for all, everyone's perception of him would change forever.

"Let's hope we get there on time!" Ladybug began running for the stairs yet again, and Cat Noir trailed behind.

Kyle walked up towards his classmates. "I need you guys to disconnect from the hotel WiFi to this hotspot I set up. It's the only way we'll weaken her service!"

—

"Ladies and gentlemen, the news story you've all been waiting for! The unmasking of Mysterion!" She grabbed the black mask on his face, intent of taking it off. Instead, he lifted his legs and kicked her in the stomach, sending her back.

"Agh!" She clutched her stomach. "What was that for?"

"What do you think, dumbass?" He barked.

All of a sudden, the lock icons on Mysterion's arms disappeared, and he fell onto the floor.

"What the?" Lady WiFi checked her phone to see that the her connection had weakened tremendously, rendering Kyle's master plan a rather success. "How is this possible?"

"Want to know a little secret?" Mysterion smirked as he rose up from the ground. "I've got a little friend who can breach and jam into any signal like he ties his shoes. I asked him personally to break your little firewall and kiss your plans goodbye."

"Don't think I'm giving up, Mysteri-dork!" Lady WiFi stuck true to her work and began shooting pause buttons yet again, but Mysterion dodged each and every time.

"Minutes are up, Lady WiFi! You're going to have to pay extra if you want to keep going!" Cat Noir and Ladybug lunged through the door and began deflecting her ammo.

"Mysterion's knights in shining armor came to save him! Awwh!" She cooed.

The same butterfly icon from before appeared onto her face. _"Lead them upstairs and lock them from the roof so they can use Lucky Charm and Cataclysm! Then you can take their Miraculouses once and for all!"_

"Got it!" She made a fast forward icon and jumped on it, leading them upstairs. But before they could get to the roof and potentially the signal tower.

"Let's get her!" Mysterion yelled as the three ran up the stairs and slammed through the two doors that let up to the roof. However, when they got there, she was nowhere to be found.

"What the?" Ladybug raised her eyebrows in confusion. "And how is the service tower already destroyed?

Suddenly, another screen appeared from the sky, with Lady WiFi on it.

 _"Nice try, losers! But I already beat you to the box! I'm not using WiFi anymore! I'm leeching of every phone in the vicinity and it was nice for you two to bring me enough of them! Have fun watching your defeat from the rooftop!"_

A lock icon appeared onto the two doors. They were trapped, and had no way out except for jumping off the roof, which was ridiculous to even think of.

"You've got to be _kitten_ me! She _blocked us_!" Cat Noir sighed.

" _And_ she found another source for her power! How the hell does this even happen?" Mysterion grunted.

"Don't give up, you guys! We're going to find some way out of this! Cat Noir, can you try destroying those doors?"

Cat Noir raised his fist into the air. _"Cataclysm!"_ He then ran up to the door and slammed his hand on it, causing it to crumble onto the floor, leaving a gap where it once was.

"Let's get her!"

—

"Are you fucking kidding me? What else can she do, pull out high speed Internet from her ass?" Kyle grumbled as he got rid of the hotspot.

"You broke through that bullshit firewall she set up. She's probably a lot weaker by now than she was before." Stan reminded him.

Cartman trembled. "You're so fucked if she finds out you did it-"

"What did you say?" His phone began to glow, and out popped Lady WiFi. Everyone around them backed up in total shock. "Who was it?"

No one said a word. Kyle began to look around and whistled frantically.

"I'm not stupid. I heard you say it, Cartman! You were laughing at me with Chloé and now you won't say anything? Why? Cause _you_ don't want to be found out?"

"Oh, God Jesus! No, i-it wasn't me! I swear to God!" He began to tremble in place. "It wasn't me!" He started to choke up.

"Stop lying! You and Chloé were the ones laughing today, it's so obvious! I know you did it-"

"Stop! I know who did it!" Kyle blurted out, but he got quiet. He then looked at everyone around him, and signed. "It was me."


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Author's Note:** **Hey guys! I was thinking about something but I wanted to get your opinion. I was thinking whether I take some of the chapters starting from at least Chapter Twenty Four and put them together. I feel like there are way too many 700-800 word chapters for anyone to glance at, but at the same time, no one really wants to read a bunch of long chapters. I don't know yet whether I should do it or not, so I want to hear what you guys have to say.**

Lady WiFi's look changed from anger to confusion as her eyebrows no longer creased down, but were raised up. "Kyle? What?" She began to dig for any word that she could use against him. "You? Why?" Then, she became furious with every word she said. "I thought I could trust you! You're just like Chloé!"

The crowd began to form between where she and Kyle were standing. In caution, Stan and Cartman began to back up. They seemed to know what would happen.

"I would never associate myself with a bitch like her!" Kyle countered, but not as confident as he thought he would.

Standing almost exactly behind him, Cartman began to quietly snickered. "I told you he'd be fucked if she found out."

"It doesn't matter how you make yourself look, it's who you really are that matters!" Furiously, she swiped a pause icon from her phone and then a video icon in the same fashion that Mysterion fell victim to not too long ago. However, Kyle did not dodge it.

The crowd flinched and began to back away. Stan and even Cartman looked totally shocked, despite the latter totally hating his guts.

 _"Well, well. It looks like we found the real culprit behind the cyberattack. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you: Kyle Broflovski!"_

At the same time, the three heroes were staring at the commotion through a nearby screen.

"He'd really do something like that?" Cat Noir looked confused. "That was rude to do!"

"Not when you believe it's right." Mysterion countered.

"What do you mean by that?" Ladybug glowered at the caped hero. "That was Alya's work that he just hacked!"

Mysterion sighed. "I'll explain everything later. We have to do something before she harms anyone else."

"But there's no way we can just destroy everyone's phones. We'll have to find another way around."

Suddenly, Cat Noir's ring beeped as one of the mini pads on the top disappeared. Now he only had four more minutes until he detransformed. "We better find something fast!"

Ladybug then threw her yo-yo into the air. " **Lucky Charm!** " Her yo-yo began to spin when suddenly, a handheld mirror fell onto the floor. She then picked it up.

"A small mirror? How is this going to stop her?"

Her ladybug senses then began to kick in. Then, in order, the slide doors that was the hotel's entrance, Lady WiFi's phone, and the pause icon that kept Kyle in place appeared in a ladybug pattern.

"That's it!" She ran towards the door, but stopped. "Someone's going to try deflecting these things while I get to her phone!"

"I guess I'll do it." Ladybug then threw the mirror at Mysterion. "Cat Noir, try distracting her so she doesn't try hurting anyone else!"

"Got it!" He bolted through the doors and walked up towards the crowd. "This time, you're going to need more than a Hz hack to get extra minutes! You'll have to fight us first!"

"That'll be easy!" As soon as she began fighting Cat Noir, Ladybug and Mysterion followed soon behind, with Ladybug behind Lady WiFi attempting to snatch the hand she held her phone. Mysterion wasn't close to Cat Noir, as he wanted to stand as a distraction.

"Two's a crowd, but three's a tango!" Lady WiFi swiped at Mysterion, but this time, the pause button hit the mirror only to be deflected and fly to Lady WiFi.

"No!" She paused in place, and Ladybug threw her yo-yo at her arm and snatched her phone. As soon as she did, she threw it onto the floor and crushed it. An akuma flew out.

"No more evilizing for you, little akuma!" She tapped her yo-yo, which then began to glow into a light pink. "Time to de-evilize!" She threw it at the fluttering butterfly, which was purified. She then opened the yo-yo again, letting go a white butterfly. "Bye bye, little butterfly!"

She took the mirror from Mysterion, and threw it into the sky. "Miraculous Ladybug!"

A stream of ladybugs flew throughout the sky, and the world changed around them. The cell tower was now fixed, the remnants of the firewall were now down, and most importantly, the pause buttons on Kyle and a de-evilized Alya disappeared. They fell onto the ground, which Cartman found rather comical.

"Shut the hell up, Cartman!" Kyle snapped.

 _Meanwhile, in Hawkmoth's lair..._

"No! Whoever that vigilante is, he must be stopped before he ruins any more of my plans!" The masked villain yelled in defeat. "But he will not stop me from acquiring the Miraculouses!"

The large, cathedral window closed in front of him, and soon enough the room fell back into darkness.

 _Later..._

"So, what she say?" Stan was sitting on a couch nearby as Kyle walked into the hotel room the four shared. He cleared his throat and made his voice higher in order to mock Alya. "Oh, Kyle! It doesn't matter that you ruined my life's work! Let me suck your dick! Fuck me while you recite the Torah, daddy!"

The three shared a laugh. Kyle, not so much though he wasn't phased. "She actually apologized. Though I should probably have been the one doing it. She said-"

"Kyle! You're so irresistibly attractive! I can't bear myself to have a grudge when I want you to do a cross-court slam dunk all up in my pussy!" Kenny added, bringing his voice up too.

"Guys, she'd never say that. Who the hell would wanna fuck a ginger, Jew, and someone from Jersey combined?" Cartman sneered.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "As I was saying, she said that normally she'd hate my ass but she just said that whatever I edited wasn't even that big of a deal, so she let it slide. But she's not don't with me."

"What's she gonna do?" At this point, Kenny was imagining him getting his ass whooped by Alya in full on Dominatrix gear. He seemed like the one to cry.

"I'm stuck going to her house tomorrow. For some security correction bullshit."

They got quiet, but Kenny then walked up and slapped him on the back. "'Security correction' my ass! By the end of this trip your ass isn't going to be a virgin!"


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Thursday**

 _Miss. Mendeleiev's classroom, Collége Françoise DuPont_

"I still can't believe she didn't beat up your Jew ass even after you told her you fucked up her blog!" Cartman laughed. "If I were her, you'd be sent home in a coffin!"

"Don't give yourself too much credit. Fat doesn't equate to muscle." Kenny countered with a smirk. He, along with Stan and Kyle shared a laugh.

"Oh, for fucks sake! Not everyone can workout all the fucking time like you do for that Mysterion bullshit!"

"My 'Mysterion bullshit' saved your artery-clogged ass two times this week."

"Whatever," Cartman rolled his eyes and opened the door. Inside, there was already a crowd forming between Chloé who was uncomfortably caressing Adrien while Alya and Marinette stood against him.

"You can't do that, Bourgeois! That's rude!" Alya got up in the blonde's face. "You never care about how other people feel, do you?"

"Why are you so angry about that? Didn't you hold _my house_ hostage and almost kill that Jewish kid for what? Some garbage journalism? You're no good yourself!"

"Hey! He has a name, you know!"

"Puh-lease, you only knew it the moment you were about to kill him for all of Paris to watch!" The blonde scoffed.

Cartman then secretly pulled out his phone and started recording.

"Guys, stop!" Adrien unraveled himself out of Chloé's grasp and got in the middle of the two. "You shouldn't be fighting about something like this!"

"Adri-kins, this isn't your fight!" Chloé pouted. "Let me handle myself!" She got in front of Adrien and jabbed her pointer finger into Alya's chest. "Listen, loser. Don't you think you're better than you think you are."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Alya spat back. Everyone looked at her surprised. She'd never sworn like this out loud.

"Get over yourself!" She walked back to her desk and the crowd dispensed. She threw her designer bag for Sabrina to carry as if she were nothing but a clothes hanger, not a friend.

Kenny cocked an eyebrow at the blonde in confusion, rolled his eyes, and started walking for his seat surprisingly unnoticed by the Parisian students.

The whole fight was like a playground argument compared to the shit that he and his friends could get to if shit like this went down. Sometimes they'd come from one class to the other with a bruise or a busted lip. He was even more surprised that Kyle didn't start beating the shit out of Chloé for some reason. He'd done the same to Cartman so many times, and Chloé was undoubtedly the same as him.

"They're such pussies!" Cartman put his phone away and started following Kenny. "I was expecting the bitch to beat the shit out of the other bitch!"

Kenny found it even funnier that this was coming from the same mouth that wailed like a baby even after one sucker punch.

—

Alya suddeny threw the paper that was in her hand onto the desk and slouched onto the chair she was sitting on. "Ugh!" She sighed.

Kyle glanced at her. "Are you okay?"

"Okay?" She scoffed. "Do you not see what she's been doing? Look at how she treats Sabrina! She's doing all of the work while she's showing that guy something on her phone!"

"You mean Cartman?" Much to his surprise, Cartman actually started getting along with Chloé since they got forced to work with each other again. Must be because their toxic personalities blend together.

"Yeah, him! He's the same guy who was being an asshole to me yesterday, too! I honestly have no idea why you wrote he was _that guy_."

"I can... kinda agree with that."

"And the thing is, Chloé can just get away with being a spoiled brat because her Dad's the mayor of the freaking city! I bet even when she's older, she'll always be a..."

"Bitch?"

"That just sounds harsh... but it describes her."

"You guys just let her pick at you like that? What the hell?" Kenny asked his groupmates averting from the topic that they were originally talking about.

Nathaniel shrugged. "I guess we just got used to it. It's not that big of a deal."

"When she was pissing off my friend Craig and calling him a bunch of slurs I didn't find it not that big of a deal, no offense. You guys know Cartman?"

He then pointed to the fatass who was laughing at something on Chloé's phone. "He's a major asshole who used to be able to do what he wanted until Butters slugged him in sixth grade."

"Who's Butters?"

"Blonde kid in a bright blue sweater. He's not in this class, but..." He almost admitted to Nathaniel that he was the kid who found his so-called fan art. "Nevermind."

"Basically standing up for himself stopped Cartman from bullying him so now he's more nicer to everyone in my class, at least."

Marinette glared at him alarmed. "You're saying that one of us has to sucker punch her? No way! We'd get suspended and kicked out of the city almost immediately if her dad found out!"

"You guys should come to my house tonight. Maybe we can get this project finished too," Adrien suggested to his two partners.

"What if your dad goes nuts again at us like the last time?" Nino countered.

"I doubt that'll happen again."

"What about your dad?" Stan asked.

"No offense to Adrien, but his dad is absolutely _nuts._ His only friend was _Chloé_ for a long time if you want to know how hysterical he was."

"I'm guessing that's the reason she's attached to you the moment she sees you?"

Adrien shrugged. "I guess so but it isn't harmful. Just kind of annoying."

"Bro, I would hate it if that happened to me! Especially if it was Chloé doing it!" Nino countered.

"I'd probably change schools," Stan suggested.

"I don't think it's that big of a deal," Adrien shrugged it off.

"Just giving you some advice before she goes on a rampage against you, bro," Nino chuckled. "What time do you want to meet us at?"


	19. Chapter Nineteen

Miss. Mendeleiev was writing on the gargantuan chalkboard that was situated behind her desk. "For years, alchemists from ancient times had attempted to turn elements like copper into gold, however this was not possible until the discovery of nuclear chemistry, which so happens to coincide well with our projects on nuclear energy..."

Ironically still behind both Marinette and Alya, and unfortunately next to Cartman, Kenny began dozing off and on. It felt like the teacher had been writing on that stupid chalkboard for all eternity. He had expected her to be as lax as the English teacher, who just handed silly projects for them to do while she continued on with whatever online shopping she was doing before school started.

That was until he felt the pocket of his orange hoodie vibrate. Almost immediately, he swooped down and picked it up, careful not to be caught. It was Craig.

Craig: _u_ _busy?_

Kenny quickly turned off his ringer and began typing back.

Kenny: _no_

Craig: _me and everyone else are going out after school, idk where._

Kenny: _i need to get away from this bullshit, sign me up_

Craig: _what bullshit? you beat them up after like two seconds. the juniors are tougher than them._

Kenny smirked under his sun-kissed hair.

Kenny: _but can juniors do what they did? don't think so lol_

Craig: _whatever. u down?_

Kenny: _sure. even got the place._

Almost immediately, he switched to a browser on his phone and tapped down the same bakery that he had probably loitered in one than once on this trip, found the address, and copied it.

Kenny: _Tom and Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie_ _12 Rue Gotlib_ _75021 Paris_

Kenny looked up again to see the teacher still writing on the board. "In nuclear chemistry, there are two different types of energy-releasing reactions: nuclear fusion and nuclear fission. Fission is the splitting of a heavy nucleus into lighter nuclei and fusion is the combining of nuclei to form a bigger and heavier nucleus."

On the other side of the table, Cartman yawned and began to stretch. "This class is so damn boring!"

"Worse than Bustier."

"We learned all this crap, like, two months ago. Why the hell do we need to do this shit again?"

"Because you clearly need it again judging from your grades, fatass," Kyle hissed from behind them. Stan began to quietly chuckle.

Cartman rolled his eyes. "You only say that because your fucking parents bribe the school into giving you straight A's, you dirty Jew!"

"Fuck off, you tub of lard!" Kyle gritted his teeth.

"You can't escape from the truth, Broflovski."

The teacher drew a small cartoon caricature of what appeared to be an atomic bomb. "One example of nuclear chemistry in work is the development of nuclear weaponry, where both fusion and fission are at work depending on what kind of weapon or bomb is being deployed."

"Hey, dude. Are you actually BFFs with Chloé Bourgeois?" Stan suddenly asked. "You two were laughing at something earlier."

Cartman snorted, almost loud enough for the class to hear. "Are you actually retarded? Why the fuck would I want to actually be close to that bitch? The only reason she's remotely tolerable is that she can do whatever the fuck she wants and get away with it."

"Like you until Butters slugged your ass in from of the whole school," Kenny childishly giggled. "That was so fucking hilarious."

"Don't forget when he leaked the video of you dressed as Brittney Spears for the whole world to see!" Kyle snickered.

"Or that one time when tried proving he wasn't gay by putting his balls in his mouth?" Stan added.

Cartman pouted and crossed his arms. "Fuck you, assholes!"

Suddenly, Miss. Mendeleiev turned around and so did the heads of everyone else in the class. "Clearly, you four boys are thinking something else is more interesting than this lesson. Perhaps you'd like to share with the class?"

"No, Miss. Mendeleiev. We were just conversing about the importance of nuclear energy and how we could apply it in America!" Stan lied through his teeth rather impressively.

The teacher cocked an eyebrow for a moment but then turned neutral. "Very well then, but I don't want to see another intimate discussion of yours again."

She turned back around and resumed her teaching.

 _Later..._

Cartman burst through the bright red doors leading into the courtyard and started to stretch, revealing his glorious rolls of "big-boned" goodness. Fortunately, not too many people were out there to see it except for the rest of his friends.

"Careful, fatass. You don't want Chloé posting it for all of Paris to see!" Kyle snickered and took off his black jacket with green edges. He tied it around his waist.

Then, some macaroons that were in a box in Cartman's backpack fell out and onto the pavement. Almost immediately, Cartman swooped down to retrieve them like a vulture with its play. "Goddamnit!"

"Those were on the ground, dude! Gross!" Stan stuck his tongue out in a playful disgust. "Don't you already have a shit ton anyways?"

"Whatever! I'm not throwing away food!" He put it back into the box. "Are we doing anything tonight?"

The three looked at each other.

Kyle shrugged. "I told you guys already. I'm stuck at Alya's for the night."

"Adrien invited me to his house with Nino for the project," Stan added.

"Craig invited me somewhere during class. I think he's going with Tweek and everyone else," Kenny mentioned.

Cartman sighed angrily. "That means I'm stuck with Butters all night. Fuck you guys!"

"Hey, don't blame us. You're the one who wanted to hang out with a shallow bitch when you could've been nicer to everyone," Kenny countered.

"What the fuck, dude? I was nice to everyone!"

"Don't think calling Adrien a 'white Token' and pissing Alya off and making her Lady WiFi is being nice," the blonde rolled his eyes.


	20. Chapter Twenty

_Miss. Bustier's class, Collège Françoise Dupont_

"Kenny!" Marinette ran from her seat towards him. "I need to tell you something about the project!"

"Huh?" He followed her back to her seat, where a large shopping back was sitting next to the table. Inside was the posterboard from yesterday rolled up alongside a tangle of wires. For what? He didn't know.

She reached for the bag and took out the wires which up close, he could see that these were small lights.

"I found these in my house yesterday. I was thinking we could use these for the posterboard but then Lady WiFi came."

She started to untwine the lights. "I think we might have enough time to set them up. There's tape in the bag too."

He reached through the bag and pulled out both the poster and the tape, and started assembling the poster. When he unrolled the posterboard, he was shocked to find it completely finished.

"I worked on it last night."

"I probably should have, uh, helped you with that," Without a doubt, Kenny wanted a little more than that. But that would definitely have to wait.

"Oh, don't worry! It wasn't that much anyways! Can you hand me some of the tape?"

He ripped out a piece but when he went to give it to her, for a brief moment, their hands touched. It was rather romantic, even for Kenny. If Cartman was near, he would've died laughing and sent it to every kid in their class. He hoped he was somewhere else in the room. They quickly let go.

"Uh, sorry about that," the blonde quickly mumbled.

"Oh, uh, you're fine!" Marinette giggled.

Then, Kenny finished taping the last of the lights left. "That should be the last of them."

He then stepped back. "Do you think we went a little overboard with the lights, or...?"

Marinette looked at the posterboard, bordered with the skyline of the city and glowing with fluorescent lights that they found somewhere in her room. "I don't think so. In fact, they look quite lovely."

 _Later..._

"I hope you haven't forgotten, but presentations start today as we speak so I hope you've actually put effort into them!"

"So, who'd like to go first?"

Chloé got out of her seat. "Me and Cartman would."

"Then the first group to go will be Chloé Bourgeois and Eric Cartman! Please give them a round of applause!"

"Ah, shit," Cartman grunted at the news and shuffled to the front of the classroom.

Chloé signaled at Sabrina to take out and roll a poster identical to the one Marinette and Kenny had made and place it on the teacher's desk.

Chloé cleared her throat. "As you can see, we did England."

Cartman crossed his arms and rolled his eyes as she spoke. This was going to be one hell of a presentation.

"As you can see, we drew some of the major tourist destinations because they were the only interesting places," she pointed to detailed sketches of Stonehenge, the Big Ben, Buckingham Palace, and the London Bridge."

"Chloé? Being talented?" Nino whispered to Adrien. "I thought she was only good at being self-absorbed about herself."

"Nino, that was a little mean."

"No offense," Nino shrugged.

Marinette looked closely at the drawings as Chloé dozed off and on about the geography of England when she noticed something about the style of the drawings. She swore she had seen them before.

Then it came to her: these were Nathaniel's! But why would he agree to draw anything for her, he hated her for telling the whole class about his feelings.

But then she remembered how vulnerable he could be when he was manipulated enough. Especially since his akumatization only a few days ago.

Chloé must've forced him to do everything in the project for her!

"Does anyone have any questions about this place? Cartman mumbles. "Like it's anywhere interesting."

Marinette raised her hand. She knew what she was going to do.

"You in the pigtails."

"I like the drawings, I was going to ask who drew them."

Chloe angrily responded. "Obviously me. You know, because I'm so talented."

Kyle and Stan turned to each other.

"She even sounds like Cartman with a pair of tits and actual authorit-ah." Kyle whispered.

"No wonder these kids hate her. I would too."

"Oh, because your style looks a lot like Nathaniel's, and I was wondering if you asked him to do it for you while you took all of the credit."

She turned to Alya who looked back with one of amazement as the class began to burst into laughter out of shock, even Adrien. To her, that made it totally satisfying.

Chloé angrily threw the postcards she had been holding and stormed back to her seat in defeat. Sabrina ran up to recollect them. Cartman on the other hand was laughing his ass off in pure shock so hard he would have collapsed on the floor had he not grabbed onto the table walking up.

"Jesus Christ!" He choked out laughter between every word. "That was so fucking amazing, dude." He wiped a tear from his eye.

Miss. Bustier immediately got up from her seat and looked at the poster. "While I do not condone this inappropriate manner in the classroom, Marinette was still right in a sense. Please do not take credit for what you have not done. Now that I'm looking at this, do look like they were done by Nathaniel."

"In that case, Marinette, would you and your partner like to go up to present?"

Kenny got up from his seat and took out an outlet from the large bag as Marinette took the posterboard from the bag.

Once she flashed a thumbs up, he plugged it in. The lights flashed on as the audience gaped in amazement.

"It's so beautiful!" One of the girls, with a blonde bobcat and a frilly pink tutu, cheered.

"Quite the marvel, you two. You both clearly took your time on this." Miss. Bustier praised probably knowing it was an attack on Chloé too. "Now let's see if your research is on par."

"No problem." Kenny smirked and pulled out a few notecards. He took off the mask and cleared his throat.


	21. Chapter Twenty One

"Let's give one final round of applause for Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Kenny McCormick!" Miss. Bustier looked at the two. "Very well done, you two. You should be very proud!"

As they walked up to their seats, Adrien flashed a thumbs up. "That was so cool, guys!" Marinette blushed. Kenny, on the other hand, just smiled back.

"See? I told you that it wouldn't be so bad," Alya retorted.

"Adrien complimented me..." Her face fell onto the table, almost tomato red.

As Kenny sat back down, his friends began to gush, something that Kenny swore would've probably never happened in a million years.

"That was so fucking cool, dude! Damn, now I wish I got her as my partner!" Cartman sounded like he was only moments away from squealing.

"You're acting like I did nothing."

"Whatever, dude. You're _so_ going to get an easy A on this," Kyle retorted.

On the other side of the room, Chloé angrily crossed her shoulders and slumped on her seat.

"What's the matter, Chloé?" Sabrina attempted to comfort her.

"What's wrong! That pesky little brat stole the spotlight from me again and now Adrikins likes her! Ugh! This is so unfair!" She yelled. "But she better know what's coming to her. I'm sick of all of this."

"W-what do you mean?"

Chloé pounded her fist into her palm. "Tomorrow she'll finally be put where she belongs. And this time, I'm not afraid to get physical with her."

 _Later..._

Miss. Bustier was attempting to yell whatever the schedule would be tomorrow if that was what she actually was saying but to no avail. Her voice was drowned out by the commotion made by the students as they were clawing out of the classroom and to whatever plans they had made for the night. The Boys were no exception, however for half of them they weren't as excited.

"I'm stuck hanging out with Butters for the entire night because you three backstabbing assholes didn't invite me anywhere!" Cartman grumbled.

"Do you actually think I want to hang out with the same girl that tried to fucking kill me on national television?" Kyle countered.

"Shut up, dude. You were literally eyeing her _all_ of class," Stan chuckled.

Kenny winked and smirked. When he smirked, his tongue snapped in his mouth. "You know, I could teach you a few moves if you two are stuck alone in her room for the night."

"You too, Kenny!" Attempting to revert the attention towards his mini soap opera, Cartman began to pout but pronounced Kenny's name godawfully in the process. If there was one thing he could do if he had the ability to control what he could change, it would be that horrendous lisp that the fatass has retained since fourth grade. "You could've fucking asked Craig to invite me with you, dipshit!"

"Whatever-" Kenny turned his head to see the one and only Alya Cesairé heading straight towards them. Finally, he actually had something he could use to change the fucking topic and escape the wrath of a thousand clogged arteries. "Look, Kyle! It's your damn girlfriend!"

Kyle rolled his eyes as Stan and Cartman joined the blonde in howling laughter and jeers. "Shut your fucking mouth, asshole!"

"I'm not wrong."

Upon hearing the three gossiping, Alya rolled her eyes. "What's up with those three? They freak out every time I see them!"

Kyle shrugged. "They're just like that."

"I'm just saying. They all need to get a grip, especially Chloé's second lackey."

In the background, Cartman crossed his arms and rolled his eyes in frustration. "Ay, you stupid bitch! You say anything else and I'll beat your black ass in front of everyone in the school!" He sighed and began to slowly mumble to himself, however, it was inaudible.

Stan nudged him in the shoulder. "Shut up, fatass! I don't want Lady WiFi fucking shit up _again!_ "

"Anyways, you do remember we're meeting at my house for this, right? Didn't want you to bug out and complain that you were in the library for like, two hours until you actually remembered."

"Do you think I'm stupid?"

"You're the only kid in the whole class, who FYI, bypassed the Ladyblog's security. You're literally the _last_ person I'd say was an idiot, no joke," she then quickly grabbed him by the arm, which should've shocked and embarrassed him more than the fact that she thought Butters, possibly one of the most naive and short-minded freshmen in the entire high school guessing the password on the first try was in any shape or form of security. He was pretty sure he could hear some of his friends quietly chuckle at that, at least he hoped. "My house is down the street and a few turns. I'm hoping you're not a slow person either."

"Oh, he's going to stop the both of them if he finds a penny on the street because he's a greedy Jew!" Cartman snorted.

Kyle turned around and flipped the fatass off subtly, hiding the rest of his hand in his pocket. Hopefully, Alya didn't hear whatever he said.

Then, Butters began to trot towards, making Cartman roll his eyes and look like he was waiting eagerly for the day that he would meet the Grim Reaper. At least, that was what it looked like to Kenny. "Hey, fellas!" He turned to see Kyle and Alya, who at the moment, had stopped holding hands for some strange reason but were both walking off and talking to each other. "And you didn't say they were dating?"

"Butters, he's only going to her house to fix the Ladyblog because we fucked it up and caused her to become batshit insane, remember?" Stan reminded.

"What about you, Stan? Are you going off somewhere for the night?"

"I'm going to Adrien's. You know him, right? The supermodel guy?"

Cartman rolled his eyes. "Stan... Stan, you don't have to remind us for the millionth time, dude. We get that you're best friends with some teen model that's in our class. Not all of us are that capable."

"You're only 'not capable' because you've been a piece of shit to everyone here except Chloé," Stan countered.

"At least you can hang out with me, Eric!" Butters chirped.

"Yeah, I'm super psyched about it too," Cartman retorted sarcastically and rolled his eyes.


	22. Chapter Twenty Two

Then, in the corner of everyone's eyes, the same long white limousine from only three days ago pulled up to where the group was standing. They all knew who the sleek ride was meant for.

The chauffeur walked out of where he had been sitting and opened the door.

"Woah! That's for us?" Butter gleamed, looking at his blurry reflection. "Teacher PC must be really nice to us!"

"We can't even afford new buses, Butters. Where would the school even get the damn money for a limo in France?" Kenny countered.

"Than who's it for?"

They spotted Adrien and Nino talking amongst the crowd that was still leaving from out of the doors, for some odd reason that they couldn't fathom.

"For Stan's new best friend."

Adien waved goodbye at Nino and then walked over to the limo. It wasn't much of a surprise that he was confused by the fact that Butters was making silly poses in the reflection of the limo while Cartman and Kenny were crowded over him.

He looked over at Stan, who made the normal decision of getting himself away from the three. "What the?"

"So cool! You're the same kid from all the ads I've seen all around the city!" Butters immediately opened his backpack and pulled out a small notebook. "Can I get your autograph?"

"Butters, stop. You're embarrassing yourself," Cartman retorted. "Adrien, dude. Please don't waste your time."

"Shut up," Stan whispered. "Let him do whatever the hell he wants."

Instead of taking Cartman's advice, he took a pen from his bag and signed the book. "I don't see why not. I'm not in a rush home!"

He gave the book back to Butters, who was gleaming in joy.

"Oh, golly! This is awesome!" He put the book back into his backpack.

The chauffeur, a large and burly man who looked quite similar to Marinette's dad in terms of body type, then motioned his hand in front of the group. Almost immediately, Butters and Cartman backed up and ran away. Kenny looked at them and walked in the other direction leaving Stan alone on the other side.

"Do you need a ride?" The blonde offered.

"If we're hanging out at your house for the night, probably."

"Oh, right! If you want we can just go straight to my house!" He sounded like he was confused. He must've at least been new for the school year, probably new to actual social situations. But that seemed like a total stretch.

He didn't even sound like Butters, who fucked up at everything he did but somehow had the balls to say he plays Hello Kitty Adventure Island. Was that even a compliment?

The driver stepped outside. "Adrien, what has been taking you so long?"

"Oh, nothing. I was just wondering if my friend would like a ride."

The driver looked at Stan, analyzed him and then turned back to Adrien. " _Vous savez que votre père n'aime pas les actes de bonté envers les étrangers_."

Oh... shit. They were talking in French to each other. It didn't take a rocket scientist to understand that meant that they were most likely talking shit, but how the hell did the driver know Stan was American at first glance? Those were questions that he'd probably never get the answer to.

Adrien countered back, also in French. " _Non, c'est bien. Il vais vient de ma maison, et Nino vient aussi."_

From the very little French that PC had attempted to hamfist into the students almost two weeks before the trip, all he understood was "no" and "good" which were hopefully meant in a positive light.

The driver glared at him for a minute, possibly to make a decision, and opened the door. " _D'accord._ Just tell him not to cause any form of commotion or else he'd be kicked to the curb."

 _Later... near Tom and Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie_

Token took a straw wrapper and started to flick it across the table that Craig's Gang had been sitting at for half an hour. "I don't know why out of all the places in the damn city, he chose this small bakery."

"Ask him. He said this place specifically yet he doesn't even fucking show up," Craig retorted. Then, he saw Kenny running at possibly Mach speed towards the group of five, stopping near Craig. "Never mind."

"What the hell happened? It took you like, thirty minutes," Clyde asked.

"Cartman was acting like a bitch because no one invited him anywhere because everyone had common sense, Kyle got all bitchy because we made fun of him for acting like a virgin and Stan got a free ride in Agreste's limo," Kenny rolled his eyes and sat on a nearby chair. "There. Is that what you wanted?"

"Damn, those idiots are really fucking dysfunctional, dude!" Token countered quietly.

"Who's the chick Kyle scored with?" Jimmy asked. "D-d-d-dude hasn't had... had... had pussy since the day he came out his mom's!" With that joke, everyone started to laugh.

"Wow! What a terrific audience!"

"Alya Césaire."

"Alya? You mean the same chick who almost killed him? Dude's kinda fucking desperate If that's how low he's gotten!" Clyde snorted.

Kenny shrugged. "Not really, he doesn't want to be there apparently. I wouldn't mind. She's kinda nice looking if I'm being honest."

"But aren't you into that Asian chick, man?" Tweek asked, downing a cup of coffee in the process. "Like, you know, the Marinette girl?"

"She's flatter than a pancake!" Clyde giggled childishly.

"I can say any chick looks hot, it's not like I'm dating Marinette or something. As much as I kinda wish I am so it's easier to get her into bed," Kenny laughed.

"Agh! Dude, that's so weird!" Tweek countered.

"I've got my ways. I'm not saying it's gonna happen but we'll see."

Craig then turned around to see Marinette walk into the bakery, and then turned back to Kenny with the most flabberghasted look on his face. "Dude..."

Kenny smirked. "She lives there."

"You clever motherfucker."


	23. Chapter Twenty Three

"And today in history, we were talking about the Renaissance! Did you know that in France, the princess Marie Antoinette was so shocked to see the peasants revolt that her hair immediately turned grey, Eric? That's so cool!" Butters cheered as he and Cartman walked towards the hotel. If you put Butters in front of a painted wall that was drying, he would find something interesting about it.

"Butters, that was the Revolution, not the Renaissance," Cartman sighed. "What was the highest score you got on a history test?"

The blonde paused. "A 95%!"

Cartman didn't want to admit that _Butters_ scored higher than him. That was reputation suicide. "Of course."

"So... what do you want to do? Play cards? Watch TV? Go to the computer downstairs?" Was there a choice of making him shut up? Cartman could only dare dream of that. "Oh, this will be so fun!"

"You two losers actually think that Marie Antoinette was in the Renaissance?" Chloé had been leaning on a nearby pole near the entrance. Great, now the brunette was stuck with _two_ self-entitled buffoons. This would possibly be the worst Thursday of his life. Sitting in a synagogue with Kyle and his family would be way better than this bullshit. "Hah! You guys are so pathetic!"

"Great, now I'm probably stuck around your bitchy ass for the rest of the night too."

"Are you stupid?" She paused for a moment to think of what she could possibly say. Sad. "No, I mean how stupid are you? I live here! Where else would I be on a Thursday night? Ugh!"

"At your friend's house, like Kenny, Kyle and Stan are?" Butters responded sheepishly.

"Oh, I wish. But I have way too many friends to just go around every night! That would take too long, and besides, what'll happen if I don't like them anymore and don't want to hang out with them?" Chloé sarcastically jabbered. "Anyways... I didn't come out here to hear your _boring_ life stories when I could just get some tea to help me fall asleep if I needed to. Are you two any good at computers? Or like, anything at all?"

"I'm good at something!"

"Talking nonsense is _not_ what I meant."

"No! I can help you with that computer stuff! I helped Kyle break into the Ladyblog a few days ago! Right, Eric?"

"As much as I want to say he's not, he's right," Cartman confirmed.

"Kyle, the stupid redhead brat who almost got me killed because of that blog of her's? I mean, he's probably a dork if he can actually talk to Alya for more than ten seconds without throwing up or laughing at her! She's so delusional! She thinks she's, like, BFF's with Ladybug herself because she got one video interview! She should know that I'm Ladybug's real BFF!"

"Dude, you actually hate Kyle too? He's such a sneaky Jew rat!" For the first time in a million years, someone actually agreed with him! Though it was Chloé.

"He's like a second Alya. One of them is bad, but when there's the two of them, it's awful!"

"It's like those two dipshits were made for each other! Snotty, pretentious, and opinionated! If they ever had kids, the fucking apocalypse would happen!"

"Hey, fellas. When are we actually going inside? I'm tired," Butter chirped in, breaking the hate-filled conversation and sending it to a breeching halt, for now.

"Did he actually just call me fella?" Chloé snorted. "That's so gross! Not even my daddy calls people that!"

"You better get used to it, or else you won't have a submissive doing all your bullshit for you!" Cartman retorted.

 _Meanwhile... At Alya's house_

"Whatever security crap you had on your blog isn't doing much to protect it. All you have is a password and a security question," Kyle swung himself in the computer chair to face Alya, who was standing nearby cross-armed. "That's the tech world equivalent to a master lock."

"What kind of comparison is that? A master lock? Seriously? Not even my grandma uses those things anymore!" She protested.

His face stinged. "I was just saying..."

"Dude, chillax! I was just joking about that! You looked so bugged out back there like I Cartman-style insulted you!"

"Cartman-style? Sheesh, he must not be that liked here despite the fact we've only been here for half a week."

"You're not the only one that hears the Jew jokes in class. I literally sit _right behind_ him. That dude seriously bugs, and I thought Chloé was bad! Imagine if Hawkmoth got to him!"

"He'd be useless, he can't even run a lap without collapsing onto the floor in a pool of sweat. How'd you think he'd run all over Paris trying to fight Ladybug?"

The two then burst into an uncontrollable fit of laughter before he then looked back at the computer, which had been switched back to the editing screen. "Basically you could use a Captcha so that while someone could have your username and password, they wouldn't have the correct code."

"Those 'I'm not a robot' things? But all you have to do is write the letters! They're probably just as useless!"

"Not if you make it a calculus problem," almost immediately he whipped out a standard calculus question from the internet and edited it through the security. "The answer's six, if you're wondering."

"Oh my God, you're _such_ a show off."

The redhead smirked. "I'm quite proud of that, actually."

"But what if you just copy paste that question? Wouldn't you just automatically get the answer? Just as useless, don't you think?"

"I mean, you could just disable the copp paste feature. Do you have a window for the blog HTML?"

There was a pause. Kyle sighed. "I really hope you know what that is if you're running a blog."

"I don't use HTML. That's stuff's probably older than a Master lock. I use my own coding," She glanced to Kyle and snickered, "You actually think I didn't pass How to Run a Blog 101?" Alya laughed.

She then pointed to a tab on the side of the window. "You just have to click there to get to it. It's bugged out for some dumb reason."

Right after clicking the tab open and scanning the screen for what felt like more than five minutes, he turned back, broad-eyed. And totally infatuated with it. "How long did it take to write this?"

"Literally a day after Ladybug saved Paris for the first time. I just _had_ to do it so no one else could."


	24. Chapter Twenty Four

_Tom and Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie,_

"Remember that one time you guys got stuck in Costa Rica with some choir group and almost got killed in the rainforest?" Craig laughed as he put the cup of coffee that he had been chugging down onto the table.

Kenny snickered. "Good fucking times, I even almost got some from one of the girls there."

He then sighed. "I'd rather be there than this hellhole. It's so goddamn boring here. Everyone's so mopey and kind to each other. It's driving me insane."

"What are you talking about?" Token rebutted. "If anything, I actually got the chance to learn something here because Cartman and Kyle weren't screaming and bitching at each other over some retarted Jew slur he said during lunch!"

"Y-yeah. And the coffee doesn't make me go that hysterical!" Tweek twitched.

"At least you can fuck around as Mysterion and piss off the ladybug chick and her cat sidekick. If anyone should be complaining about whether this place was boring, it should be us," Craig added. And he was sort of right about that. Literally every villain fight ended in the same situation; idiot with powers fucks around in Paris, Ladybug and Cat Noir fight them, Mysterion punches them around, and they defeat them using cheats and save the day.

He still wished his power was as useful as whatever Lucky Charm and Cataclysm were. Maybe if he gave it a cool sounding name, it would work.

"You think I take that shit seriously?" Kenny snorted. "They're so damn pathetic, even with their fucking powers doing everything for them. They rely too much on whatever Hawkmoth gives them and can't even fight back. Did you see how easy it was to take down Lady WiFi? With a mirror?"

"The Evillustrator guy almost killed us execution style and locked us in the school. That was actually kind of terrifying," Clyde countered.

"Yeah, but all Stan needed to do was pick the lock and get you guys out."

"He erased the damn roof and almost killed you and Ladybug! And did you forget how he trapped Cat Noir in a box for the entire fight?"

"Whatever, I just wish we had someone who was capable of being a threat. This Hawk-dude needs to find actual terrorists that can blow up the city if they wanted to, not high schoolers who don't know what they're doing."

"You know how that Marinette chick lives in the bakery?" Craig barged in and changed the topic of the conversation.

He plopped down some money from the pocket of his blue sweatshirt and slid it across, causing a grating sound to come out of the metallic black table. "Buy me some of those cookie things Cartman's shoving down his throat."

"Macaroons?"

"Yeah, whatever. And when you go inside, keep your dick out of your hand so something like Monday doesn't happen again."

The group snorted as Kenny stood from the chair he had gotten comfortable in and strolled casually into the bakery that wasn't even a few steps away. Surely everyone would be spectating what was about to come.

 _Meanwhile, at the Agreste mansion_

Stan stepped out of the limousine and in front of the grand mansion that resembled nothing like an actual house but like a well-maintained fortress from medieval times. Half of South Park could probably fit and live in this damn house!

In front of the house was a set of gates that looked similar to the ones that Dr. Mephesto had guarding his secret laboratory. Speaking of him, what the hell happened to the scientist, anyways? But whatever, what was more important was the fact that soon, Stan was going to be face to face with one of the biggest names of fashion in the world. It wasn't enough to be quick friends with his own son.

He hoped he wouldn't shit bricks do doing so in the process.

The chauffer from before then walked up to the intercom next to the gates and pressed a button. Then, a hidden compartment opened from the wall, and a small security camera popped out.

 _"You have Adrien?"_ The woman from behind the camera spoke, completely monotone, which was pretty fucking unsettling. Was this kid raised in a cult?

"Yes, but he's brought a guest and another is coming later. Did Gabriel ever mention any guests coming over?"

She pulled out a tablet from her compartment in the desk, and looked over it. _"Not from what his schedule mentions, but perhaps he'll permit it only for today."_

She then pressed another button, and the gates opened.

The two were led into the main foyer, where white and gray marble etched the walls and large, cylinder lights hung from the top of the ceiling, with eerie red plants. From where he was standing, large white staircase faced him, below a grand self portrait featuring Adrien and what looked like his father in black, with completely somber emotion. To be fair, if he was stuck with that guy, he'd probably be the same.

A woman with black and red hair wearing glasses walked towards them. "Mr. Agreste will be here in a moment, but I cannot promise anything. He's not very polite to those he perceives as threats."

Okay, this kid _had_ to live in a cult if everyone who walked in and out were determined to be strangers or not, or if Adrien had to tell his dad what he was doing at least 24 hours in advance. They were bunch of deranged lunatics.

"Adrien never mentioned any guests coming over today."

A man walked out from the edge of the stairs, striding to the middle until he faced Stan and crossed his arms behind his back. He looked similar to the man from the portrait hanging from the wall. Oh, shit. _This_ was Gabriel Agreste. With the goofy glasses and whatever that haircut was.

"You do remember what I've said about bringing friends over, Adrien. You always have to seek for my approval first."

Adrien looked mortified. "Sorry, father."

"Next time, this will not happen. Do you promise?"

He looked away at Adrien and stared dead-straight at Stan. He hoped he wasn't going to rip him a new one for what? Coming over to a friend's house?

"What is your name? I have never seen you around Paris."

"Uh, Stan."

He cocked an eyebrow. "Surname?"

"Marsh."

For a moment, he paused. He then looked over to the women in confusion on what to say, who looked back with a similar expression.

Then, he looked back at Stan, and uncrossed his arms. "I apologize for any inconviences. Please, you are welcome here."


	25. Chapter Twenty Five

_Hotel Le Grand Paris_

"I've been standing in this dumb lobby for, like, more than twenty-four hours! Are you guys going to actually do something, or just stand around here like two idiots!" Chloé pouted as she crossed her arms. "This is _so_ boring!"

"Don't you have that redhead bitch to run to instead of whining at us?" Cartman countered.

She scoffed. "Do you actually think I consider Sabrina a _friend?_ Please! She does all of my homework _and_ she's working on both of our projects as we are speaking! All I have to do is dig through my closet and give all of my ugly looking clothes that I get. My daddy tells me that when you make deals, you not only have to get something, but you have to keep the other end satisfied so they don't look for someone else to do business with. _That's_ the business world for you."

"A _deal?_ " Butters parroted back confused.

"What in the actual fuck?" It was rather surprising that Cartman himself would actually be shocked by whatever Chloé would ever do. Anything she could ever dream of doing, he probably did something ten times worse. She had a lot more to do until she could cook her enemy's parents into chili and make them eat it.

"Whatever, I said it. That's all."

Instead, Cartman slobbered back, "That's actually... kind of impressive."

Then, Butters looked over at the lobby computer that not even forty-eight hours ago, had not so secretly anymore hacked into the Ladyblog and almost killed Kyle, a feat Cartman could only dream of ever accomplishing as much as he hated to admit it.

"Maybe we could go on the computer and do something with it!" The blonde then zipped from where the trio had been standing and dropped himself onto the swirly chair parked in front of it.

"That computer almost killed me yesterday! How could any of you ever think of that?" Chloé cried.

"Hey, you wanted us to think of something for you to do," Cartman shrugged and followed Butters's path. He soon then came up with an idea the moment he was already behind the screen and began to quietly snicker. "Dude, go on that school tech site from middle school."

Butters then began typing until he found what Cartman had been looking for. "What d'you need it for?"

The brunette grabbed the mouse out of the blonde's hand and began mousing his way through the plethora of broken files on the computer until he found what he was looking for, the perfect jackpot. "Ha! Look at this! That fucking Jew!"

At first, Chloé looked away with crossed arms, trying not to get herself into whatever the two boys were doing as if she was hundreds of times better than them, but could not resist the urge, and slowly walked up to see a picture of Kyle from sixth grade. Her mouth immediately fell open.

"Oh... my god!" She silently snickered. "What a fashion disaster!"

"His voice didn't even fucking deepen until seventh grade! It was like watching a fourth grader running around a middle school!" That was true until the summer of seventh grade, when the first day of school, Cartman's number one enemy now towered him enough to pick him up by the collar and throw him. And his voice was much lower than his.

As expected, that greedy Jew did the former.

He quickly snapped a photo of Kyle, dressed in the familiar orange and green coat with that silly green ushanka, with a lei around his neck, and began to post it.

"Eric, what are you doing?" Butters asked.

"Watch and listen, Butters. I'm going to trigger that fucking Jew harder than his mom could ever be, even if it was that time of the month."

"But that's not very nice, Eric. Don't you think you should be a little nicer to Kyle?"

"Ha! What are you, fucking retarded? Even if he gave me all of his Jew gold, I would never kiss his ass! He gets what he deserves, same with that poor bastard!" Cartman jeered. "He's next!"

 _Meanwhile..._

"Oh... my God! That's what you looked like in _sixth grade?_ " Alya took off her glasses and wiped the tears from laughing off of the lenses. "I honestly can't believe it!"

Kyle sulked down onto the desk, trying to hide his face. "Cartman... that fucking bastard!"

"Hey, don't get so bugged out over that one pic. You don't even look that bad, except you _kinda_ looked like a midget for a sixth grader. What the heck's with that dumb lei, anyway?"

"I think some spirit day or something, I don't even remember," his voice then began to get less passive and more defensive, probably about the dark times that were middle school. "Where the hell did that asshole get those pictures anyways?"

"He probably had them from, like, a long time ago. Weren't you guys BFFs or whatever since what? Kindergarten?"

"BFF is a _huge_ overstatement. If he was ever nice to me just to be a decent human being and not because that slimy bastard could gain something out of it, I would be genuinely surprised."

Then, Kyle's phone vibrated again. Another post from the fatass. What would it be this time? He opened it up. Fortunately, it wasn't another picture of him in middle school, but neither was it going to fix Cartman's sorry ass after the night was over. Actually, it was probably going to break it even more than that high-cholesterol Big Mac diet already did. It was a picture of Kenny from around middle school too, but you could clearly see some of the small patchwork and dirt marks that were associated with the impoverished blonde. From what he remembered, Kenny got rid of the coat sometime during either eighth grade or during the summer, but not the pictures of him in it. That was something he had preferred to hide.

Alya looked over at the image. "Who's that guy? Wouldn't wanna wear that thing."

The redhead paused. "That's... well..." He knew that the blonde would most likely beat his ass the moment she found out who that was, but fuck it. So would Marinette if she got to Cartman's account, and possibly everyone else in Paris. "Kenny."

"Wait, _hold up_. The same Kenny that looks a little _too_ much like Adrien? Seriously? Why'd he wear that bunch of rags?"

If Kyle expanded on that fact even more, he'd be shipped back home with a coffin. "It's complicated."


	26. Chapter Twenty Six

_Tom and Sabine Boulangerie Patisserie_

Kenny swung the door open to the bakery and walked up over to the counter, eager to get this over with before any one of those idiots could pull out their phones and start recording, adding on to Cartman's idiotic internet charade. He had seen the picture of Kyle from Hawaiian day not even a few seconds ago, and he knew that if Cartman ever dared to post anything about him from that time period, he could guarantee the fatass would be pounded and chopped in half.

He looked up from his phone, and what do you know, he's now only a few feet from Marinette. Fuck that blue sweatered bastard. He probably set this up in his mind the moment she saw her walking in. It wasn't like that wasn't so obvious, but still. He was still pissed off.

"Oh, Kenny! Can I help you with anything?"

He didn't say anything back immediately, but wasn't of thinking of how to say he wanted macaroons despite the fact that he had done it without a sweat only a few days ago. It wasn't like he actually couldn't talk to her and just stood there like he was a bumbling retard, he hoped.

He also hoped he wasn't actually catching feelings for her. Shit would hit the fan for him if that ever happened, it wasn't like they were ever going to see each other again. But he wished he could, and now he felt like he was eating his own words from only moments ago.

Marinette dropped an eyebrow. "Uh, are you okay? You look blanked out."

He snapped back in response. "Oh, sorry. Do you guys still have any strawberry macaroons left?"

"Let me guess, Cartman asked you to be his personal courier again?" She walked into the back, coming back out with a larger box than before. She was totally on tab with the fatass's diet. "That guy seriously needs to do some work for himself once in a while."

Kenny laughed. "I guess that's just a trait every snotty entitled brat shares, probably only thing that they can even share."

He paused, and then remember what had happened only and few hours ago between Marinette and her own personal Cartman. "What happened between you and Chloé in class was pretty fucking bold. I didn't think you'd actually have the nerve to go through with it."

She smiled back, her cheeks collecting a little pink. "Thanks."

Then, his phone vibrated in his pocket. Looks like either Cartman or Craig were waiting to get their asses whooped. He picked up his phone, and it looked like Cartman _really_ wanted to get his ass kicked. It was what he had predicted: a picture of him in that old, grimy parka from the chronicles of middle school.

"I swear to fucking God..." he mumbed to himself.

"What's the matter?" Marinette probably had heard whatever he had said, since soon he was behind him too. "' _Once trailer trash, always trailer trash?_ ' How rude! Why would anyone post embarrassing pictures like that!"

Then, she glanced up at the blonde, and then again at the picture. "Wait a minute... that's you?" Fuck.

Now everyone in this whole goddamn city was going to know the truth about Kenny McCormick, the poorest kid of all of South Park, who wore the same grimy coat until he could found something else. And if Cartman was at the hotel, so was Chloé. She probably had something to do with this.

He put his phone away in his pocket. "Cartman and Chloé probably did this. I wouldn't be surprised."

"They've been so mean to everyone, especially Alya lately! I wonder what's gone through them to make them act like this!" Marinette crossed her arms. "Now it'll be easier for Hawkmoth to terrorize the city!"

"Hope you knocked on wood for that one."

 _At the Agreste mansion..._

Nino put the controller back onto the hardwood floor and looked over at Stan. "No way, bro! High score _again!_ Have you been playing this game since you were born or something?"

"The beta was only released a few weeks ago, so no. But I'm just as surprised as how Adrien got one of the first copies."

"For Ultimate Mecha Strike IIII? With all the DLCs too? Any kid would willingly give up all of their allowance just to get their hands on it before anyone else! And when it comes out, you could go pro!" Nino gleamed.

Adrien shrugged. "My dad just got this game early from a friend. And for free!"

"A long time ago, me and my friends got together on _World of Warcraft_ and beat up this one guy who kept killing us all the time. It was really funny thinking back now, because all we did was sit on the computer and play nonstop."

Stan's phone then began to vibrate. "Speaking of a friend..." He picked it up. It was Kyle, probably being a cheeky motherfucker and priding himself with whatever he'd done at Alya's house. Probably nothing too risque. "Hey."

 _"Check your Instagram. Cartman's being a bitch again."_

"Uh, okay." He opened the app to find that the first thing on his feed was a picture of Stan throwing up all over Wendy from even earlier than the other photos. Fourth grade? He's probably had these as ammo for forever. "The hell?"

 _"Yeah, I know. He posted a few pictures of Kenny in that trashy old coat and some old ones from my bar mitzvah, I think!_ _Dude's got some serious sand in his vagina!"_

"It's just Cartman being a dickhead like usual. And he wonders why nobody invited him anywhere."

 _"Even fucking Alya saw them all! That piece of dog shit!"_

From the corner of his eyes, he could see Nino and Adrien opening their phones and from the reflection of the DJ's eyes he could see the picture. They looked over at him in confusion.

"And now Adrien and Nino saw it too. What a good impression. Hold on-" He placed his hand over his phone and lowered it. "It's just Cartman being an idiot, don't take it too seriously."

"But he'd actually do something like this? He's gone to Chloé's level and we barely even know him!" Adrien staggered. "Why'd he do that?"

"No one invited him anywhere, and this isn't helping him in the slightest," he placed the phone back by his ear. "I'll tell that tub of lard to take the photos down if Kenny hasn't threatened to beat him up already."

 _"He probably has, but I doubt he'd do anything more malicious. It's not like Hawkmoth would really waste an akuma on him. Let's hope something gets to him before anything worse is posted."_


	27. Chapter Twenty Seven

_Hawkmoth's Lair, Paris_

Like a twisted song and dance, the windows of the grand cathedral of butterflies opened, letting out a gleam of sunshine into the dusty room, sounding only of the flaps of each wing. "He may believe that he has gotten back at those who have wronged him, but deep inside there are hints of jealousy and anger."

A butterfly then flew over to Hawkmoth and landed on his palm, transforming into a regal purple akuma.

He slammed his cane onto the floor with perfect accuracy, as if this was more than a monthly occurance. "Fly away, little akuma! And evilize him!"

 _Hôtel Le Grand Paris_

Cartman, letting his legs onto the small, chestnut desk that the computer sat on, continued typing on the computer while Chloe and Butters stood behind and watched.

"Eric? When are you getting off of the computer?" Butters chirped. "You've been on it for a mighty long time."

"Shut up, Butters! Let me finish this!" The brunette picked up his pace, and started furiously tapping away on the keyboard until he had reached an unknown Facebook page. Chloé walked closer and glanced at the page.

"Linda Stotch? Who the hell is that?"

Upon hearing the name of his mother, Butters bolted towards the two. He probably knew that he was most likely next on his hitlist, despite even being there. "T-that's my mom! Uh, Eric, why are you on her Facebook page anyway?"

"Butters, I told you to-"

"I agree! This is so boring! What are we going to find on some dumb old mom's page, her favorite wine and some stupid inspirational quotes! _Please!_ I know how you can really get at someone!" She swiped the keyboard from the desk. "Just watch and learn!"

Cartman rolled his eyes and slumped onto the chair yet again, crossing his eyes. When he looked over at the screen, he clenched his eyebrows in confusion. "The hell?" He read the screen, and then looked back at the smirking blonde who was at the moment swept away in her own hubris. "Why the fuck are we on Marinette's mom's page?"

"Because no one in Paris actually cares about Butters!"

Cartman snorted. "And like anyone cares about how much of a pussy you were in class today! You just walked away and let Marinette roast the shit out of you!"

"Whatever Marinette said in class didn't even phase my at all! I don't know what you're even talking about!"

Butters, still standing in the background while the debacle happened, glanced over to his side and noticed a small, purple butterfly flying through the cracks of one of the small windows in the front of the lobby. With nothing interesting to do, he wanted to walk over to see what kind it was, but it was flying directly to them.

"Uh, fellas..."

"Butters, shut up!"

Sighing, he walked back into the shadows of behind Cartman's grand figure and the computer chair. Now that it was flying closer and closer, he could see that it was definitely going to crash onto the screen if it wasn't being careful. He had to stop it!

Almost immediately, he jumped from where he was standing and attempted to cup the butterfly between his palms, even if Cartman and Chloé were not so exhilarated. However, the butterfly did not land on the screen, but _into it. And the screen corrupted and turned black._

Cartman angrily sighed. "Great job, Butters! You broke the damn computer!" He attemped to grab and push him, but he barely budged. "Uh, Butters? Butters? Butters!" He turned his head slightly to see a butterfly pattern over his eyes. He backed up. "Oh, fuck!"

 _"You're not who I had in mind, but the confusion and ignorance you feel feeds me greatly. Professor Chaos, I am Hawkmoth. With these powers, no one will ever ignore you. In fact, they will follow to your every order with every move you make!"_ The masked villain cackled.

"R-really?" The blonde muttered.

"Dude, snap out of it! You're going fucking crazy!" Cartman attempted to talk him out of the acid trip or whatever else that was making him act even more retarded than ever before.

 _"Don't listen to that buffoon, he's only trying to keep you away. However, with these powers come great responsibilities. I want you to retrieve the Ladybug and Cat Miraculouses, and whatever Mysterion uses to give him his powers."_

"Of couse, b-but I don't know about Mysterion. He's kinda, like, my good friend."

 _"As Professer Chaos, he will be your enemy,"_ As Hawkmoth finished talking, a purple cloud engulfed Butters, and out emerged a crouching figure plad with a military green cape.

"Butters!" Cartman scurried up towards him. "Jesus fucking Christ, dude! Did you not see what you were doing?"

The boy crouching got up, and began to rise out of the ground as if he was being carried by an invisible string. Surrounding him was a barrier of electricity. The villain crossed his arms. "Butters isn't here, unfortunately. Instead, it is I, the greatest supervillain you've ever seen: Professer Chaos!" A crack of thunder echoed his monologue.

"B-B-Butters, calm down! Uh, everything is going to be okay!" Chloé hesitated with every word, as if she never knew what to say if she were to get on soneone's good side. A great contrast to the Chloé from only seconds ago.

"No, Bourgeois! Now, you two will be my great Chaos Minions!" With the snap of his fingers, he let a beam of energy onto the two, cladding them with aluminum foil armor and crude black bandannas. "You will help me get the Miraculouses for Hawkmoth!"

 _Meanwhile... at Alya's house_

"Akuma victim at the Hôtel Grand Paris?" Alya gasped in disbelief as she looked down at her phone. "Maybe we were wrong about Cartman!"

"Doubt it. Probably Chloé or something if she's there with them," Kyle countered.

"Wait, _them?_ Who else is with them? Sabrina? They probably used her to find the pictures of you guys and then blamed her for it!"

"Whoever it is, they're about to wreck havoc for the third day in a row. Some really crazy shit happens in this city, and I live in the same city that almost elected someone's left hand as the mayor."

Alya then ran towards the door and grabbed her backpack, which was hanging from a nearby hanger. "If a super-baddie is somewhere in Paris, so will Ladybug and Cat Noir. I'm _so_ not wasting this chance!"

"So I'm stuck here alone for the rest of the night?"

"Unless you want my dad to throw you out of the window for you," she grabbed Kyle's backpack from the ground and chucked it right at him, almost hitting him in the head and landing on his lap. "Come on! I'm not waiting any longer for this! You better not need to tie your shoes!"


	28. Chapter Twenty Eight

_At the Agreste Mansion..._

"What the? The pictures are gone!" Nino was scrolling on his phone, attempting to refresh Cartman's Instagram feed. "But they were literally just there a few minutes ago!"

"Maybe he had a change of heart?" Adrien theorized.

"With Cartman, I doubt that's even possible. I bet Kenny just beat him up and forced him to take the photos down," Stan countered, "He's the only person in our entire school the guy's actually afraid of other than Trent Boyett."

"Who's that guy?"

Stan soon realized that was someone that they didn't need to know for the time being. "Nevermind."

The raven haired freshmen then received another call, but this time it was from Cartman. This better be something worth wasting time for. He sighed and picked up the call.

"Hello?"

The other line burst out into a familiar laughter that tried to seem intimidated, but just sounded like a try hard Joker. Probably Cartman trying to convince Butters to act like a fucking dumbass for a form of payment.

"Butters, stop acting retarded! Where the hell is the fatass?"

 _"Butters? Sorry, Butters cannot come to the phone right now, and neither can Cartman! I am Professer Chaos and at the moment, he is my Chaos Minion!"_ He kept cackling.

Stan rolled his eyes. "Butters, this shit isn't funny, I know it's you. Just give me Cartman."

 _"N-n-no, Stan! This shit's not an act! He got akumatized or whatever it's called!"_ The fatass was screaming from what sounded like the other side of the room. It didn't sound like he was chucking between every word, either.

 _"Silence, minion!"_ "Professor Chaos" shot what sounded like a laser beam, and caused Cartman to weep. Who knew he brought a taser gun. Must've been Cartman's mom's.

"Butters, stop playing with Cartman's fucking taser gun before someone gets hurt!"

 _"Hah! You fool! How could you believe that I, Professer Chaos, only have something as meager as a taser gun when I have electromagnetic powers?"_

The line got silent for a short moment. _"Minion! Where is Stan at the moment?"_

 _"I'm not gonna fucking-"_ Stan could hear sparks of electricity on the phone line. Sounded just like a taser gun. He wasn't surprised. " _Okay! Holy shit! He's at Adrein's house! The giant mansion!"_

He begin to laugh in his Joker wannabe laugh yet again. " _Now, you and Adrien will be **doomed**! Goodbye!" _He hung up. Whatever this was, Cartman was going to seriously get one hell of a laugh out of this, even if he sounded like he was being held hostage.

"What happened?" Adrien asked. "You looked angry."

"It's Cartman telling Butters to act like this dumb character we used to play was when we were kids called Professer Chaos or something. He's coming to your house with a taser gun and Cartman as a minion or something. Don't take it too seriously."

Adrien then looked over to his bathroom door. "Uh, I have to go to the bathroom. Be right back!" He then sprinted and slammed the door shut. He lifted his overcoat, and Plagg flew out.

"That kid definitely has not been around any supervillains if he isn't scared of that Professer Chaos! He could be akumatized!" Plagg retorted.

"But maybe Stan could be right. He was the same kid that kept making funny faces at my car so I don't think he'd be much of a threat."

"But Stan's only been here for a few days over someone who's used to this, kid. This kid may not sound like someone scary, but with powers he could be a threat if he doesn't know how to use them!"

"You're right. _Plagg, claws out!"_

 _Tom and Sabine Boulangerie and Patisserie_

"Yeah, and it was called _Man from Atlantis, and he had like, webbed fingers or something..." Clyde took a swig of a nearby soda as he retold a tale that he had previously told Kyle and Kenny only five years ago. He told the tale to his group of friends anyway, nevetheless._

Then, a crack of lighting struck the table between the group, however not strong enough to jolt it out of its place or to make it conduct. A familiar suit of laughter than burst.

Craig then looked up. "Butters, what the fuck?"

"You fools believe that I am still the feeble-minded Butters Stotch? I am _Professer Chaos,_ and I need your help with retrieving the Ladybug and Cat Miraculouses or else there will be serious consequences!"

Token snorted quietly. "Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Shove a gerbil up my ass?"

Chloé and Cartman walked from behind the cloaked villain up to the group of five, still under the Chaos control and this time covered in tin foil. He pointed his hammer down towards the two.

Craig rolled his eyes. "Ha, ha, Cartman. Very comical. You really add some charm with that shitty tin foil."

"Now, will you help me in my search for ultimate power over Paris and eventually, the world?" His voice boomed as he kept speaking. "Or will you foolishly turn away?"

Clyde chuckled. "What the hell do you think, dumbass? Fuck no!"

"Oh, really?" He swung his hammer and pointed it towards the sky, where a lighting bold struck it. "Prepare to meet the power of _Professer Chaos!"_ He pointed towards the group of five without warning and a similar beam struck them, turning them into another group of Chaos Minions. When he was finished, he began to laugh in a maniacal pose.

"Off to the Agreste's mansion!"

The villain may have thought that he had gotten everyone in his general vicinity, but he was wrong, as Marinette and Kenny looked behind the glass display window in confusion and shock.

"The hell? Is that Butters?" Kenny mumbled to himself. "And did he just mountain piss all over Craig with some plastic Thor hammer?"

"Mountain piss?" Marinette asked. "You're very descriptive."

"It's... just a word we throw around."

The blonde then began examining the small bakery, searching for and hopefully locating a bathroom or even a small nook and cranny to change in, but to no avail. He would have to ask to get into their house even if that was the last thing he wanted to do.

"I, uh, really need to go to the bathroom. Is there one here?"

"Not really, but there's one behind the counter if you're comfortable with going back to my house. Though I have to go... back upstairs anyway!" She opened the small door and the two rushed behind the counter. "Just use the same door if you want to leave, okay?"

The last thing he ever thought was going to happen in Paris was going to some random chick's house and potentially meeting her parents for the second time, and all he needed to do was put on that fucking costume. All that for justice and morals and shit.

He ran into the bathroom, almost slamming the door shut and throwing his backpack onto the floor. Now kneeling, he threw it open and grabbed the purple costume again.

Meanwhile, Marinette opened the hatch upstairs and opened her purse, with the spotted kwami immediately flying out.

"It's been the third day and another akuma attack? Hawkmoth must really be trying to take the Miraculouses!"

"And this guy looks like he totally doesn't know what he's even doing with that hammer of his!" Marinette looked concerned. "I hope he isn't worse than Lady WiFi was."

"The more confused and unwilling to transform someone is, the more control Hawkmoth may have towards them! You may have to keep your head up and watch for him to pick up what's he's doing and make things right!"

"I hope you're right about that. _Tikki, spots on!"_


	29. Chapter Twenty Nine

_Somewhere in Paris..._

Ladybug ran from rooftop to rooftop, getting around by throwing her yo-yo and wrapping it around any chimney that could hold it. It wasn't that odd that these fights were getting much later as she remembered the many that had happened when the sky was charcoal black. It wasn't like this one wasn't going to be any different.

But things had become much different since Mysterion had come around. In fact, many fights that they picked were resolved much faster, even if Lady WiFi had sucked up all the internet in Paris to build a high and mighty firewall to keep them out. As much as it felt like she was pulling compliments out of her ass, he was quite different from any hero she had seen, even the one superheroine that Alya never stopped obsessing over, Majestia, who was a grown woman!

But he didn't seem like a grown adult. Wouldn't it be ridiculous to see Superman hanging around with the Teen Titans, anyway? He was pretty tall, even a bit than Cat Noir but not _too_ tall, he wasn't as tall as most of the adults in the city. Perhaps he's just having a late puberty, judging from his attitude towards everyone he's met. Or the fact that he takes _everything_ a little too seriously. Speaking of taking something a little too seriously, didn't she just leave Kenny alone at her house not just a few minutes ago, on the brink of an akuma attack? Not the smartest thinking, but she had some faith that he was smart enough to get to safety.

Then, there was the sound of a familiar gruff voice "Don't take him too seriously. You can scare him straight by just calling his dad."

The mini menace turned around. "Oh, Mysterion! You actually know this guy?"

He plopped himself near a ledge. "He's a so-called threat down at South Park who I often have the misfortune of wasting my time on. But in all seriousness, he's just a kid with an ego rush or judging by the fact that he's got actual powers, he's just really pissed off. I'm guessing Cartman got to his head and made him angry enough for Hawkmoth to swallow his pride and risk an akuma."

"Though if he does have powers, he _could_ pose somewhat of an actual threat to the city."

"Then we should find him if you think so."

She put her hand on her chin in an attempt to look like she was in deep thought when really, she knew that he was going to dare attack Adrien. A terrible mistake on his hand, as no one was going to put any form of danger onto him on her watch. "I think I overheard her attempting to talk to his goons about getting to the Agreste mansion. It's not that far from here, actually."

"Why the hell would he choose that mansion out of all places? If he was trying to get some authority and respect, he'd at least target the Eiffel Tower of the Louvre. Now there you'll get a hell of a lot of attention."

Ladybug shrugged. "Maybe he still has some sort of compassion?"

He made a small chuckle. "Those goons of his won't do anything. I'm guessing the kid tried making some minions but has no idea how to actually do it. They're probably just brain-dead."

Then, despite believing that the two of them were the only ones patrolling the twilight, they could hear another familiar voice. "No way! Ladybug _and_ Mysterion? Score!"

On the ground, Alya was snapping as many photos as she could while Kyle, who didn't seem phased by the situation he was thrusted into, was just standing behind her. She must've heard the news too, but didn't know where the commotion was happening.

"Uh, Alya?" Ladybug jumped down from an impressive amount of stories. "I don't think he's going to be here if you're looking out for some action."

She rose up her phone. "Of course I know what I'm doing, LB! If I want to have the best Ladybug blog in the freaking world, I have to be on top of everything! I'm always alerted!"

"I'm not that sure if that's a good thing or not..." Mysterion whispered under his teeth.

"Anyways, we have to get to the Agrestes' before Cat Noir gets to him before you do! Remember, you're the only one who can purify akuma!" The more and more Alya gushed, the more I reminded Mysterion of the crazed Asian girls who paired Tweek and Craig up in the first place.

"Er, why are we just standing here if we know Butters is on a mad tirade because the tub of lard pissed him off? Shouldn't you guys be the least bit concerned?" Kyle broke the mood.

"Kyle, it's fucking Butters. What harm is he going to do, throw his toy Thor hammer at all of us and then apologize for it a second latter?" Mysterion countered.

A crack of lightning erupted in the distance and so did the sound of thunder. To Butters telepathically, that should have been enough to change their minds.

Alya looked up into the sky. "It doesn't look that rainy outside..."

Ladybug then picked up her yo-yo. "Listen, if you guys really want to take the risk again, than you better be careful and sneaky. I'm guessing he gets his powers from all the attention in the city, and he can make you all braindead zombies. You can follow us, but please stay hidden!" She threw it, latching it onto a chimney. "Do you understand?"

The two nodded. Alya, with a little more exuberance.

"Then take the same route we're taking on the ground, but stay as quiet as you can so he doesn't see that he's getting more of his little followers to become Chaos Minions!"

 _Meanwhile, in Hawkmoth's lair..._

The villain grinned. "Who know someone who tried to make themselves as sophisticated as Mysterion could be so foolish. Those two followed Cat Noir into my trap as planned. Now, I'll finally receive the Miraculouses once and for all, and take over the world!"


	30. Chapter Thirty

Stan facepalmed. "I think you guys went a _little_ too far with those defenses of yours. If Butters, for God's sake!" He walked up, attempting to at least pull out a chair or something else but was pushed aside by Cat Noir who had somehow gotten into the building while Adrien was nowhere to be seen.

"We'll need this if Professer Chaos is going to really want to stir up chaos like he says he will!"

Stan rolled his eyes. "Okay, whatever. I'm just saying this is a really stupid idea."

Then, through one of the windows Ladybug and Mysterion appeared and somehow, Alya and Kyle followed despite the huge barrier. There must've been a crack somewhere. He could only hope that they wouldn't get any ideas of growing whatever they could on any window in sight. Ladybug peered around, just as confused of what she was looking at.

"Uh, kitty...? Is this what you do when you're waiting around?"

"Don't worry, m'lady! There's no way he can get through such an impenetrable fortress. In fact, if he could even get a centimeter through I'd be _shocked-"_ There was another crack of lighting in the distance. Mysterion snickered. Let's see if whatever this bullshit plan was really worked. Was Paris really scared of a kid that still wet the bed?

"Oh, this'll be _good!_ " Alya grabbed her phone and ran towards the bug and cat duo. "I heard that this guy is someone Mysterion fights, like, all the time! Do you guys think you got the guts for it too?"

Unphased, the cloaked vigilante walked over to Stan. "Please don't tell me that you were the one who came up with this fucking plan..."

"It was the closeted furry's and Adrein's friend went along with it! I tried to convince them but he kept saying that Butters was gonna fucking kill us all if we didn't do this! I didn't want to look like a dick!"

The cracks of lightning and roars of thunder got closer. Kyle snorted. "This is the dumbest shit that's happened since we came here. Craig would be laughing his ass off at all of us."

"Hey, just play along with it. You don't want Alya to get triggered again, do you?" Mysterion put aside macho character for once and chuckled. He and Stan began to quietly laugh.

"See? Safe and-" The so-called impenetrable fortress that was Adrien's room was then blown to pieces, and whatever was left standing was smoking like rubble. Professor Chaos, looking similar to his macho anime style from along ago, was flying over his much larger henchman team of civilians while his cape flew into the air. He let yet another try-hard Heath Ledger wannabe laugh.

"Well, well, well! We meet again, Mysterion! And you've brought some of your little friends with you, Ladybug and Cat Noir!" The more he attempted to sound edgy, the more irritatingly retarded he made himself look like.

"Butters, what the fuck are you doing?" Kyle yelled from below.

"I have ascended into my new powers thanks to my assistant, the great Hawkmoth!"

"That didn't happen, smartass. Cartman's just bullshitting you right now! Snap back into your senses and stop before anyone gets hurt!" Stan also joined the scream fest.

A butterfly mask appeared over the villains face. _"I made it very clear not to listen to those fools. Do what I ordered you to do or you will be rendered powerless! Do you understand?"_

"But you will be no match for me and my Chaos Minions!" He pointed a finger at the group. "Minions! Attack!"

The ground began to quake as the ordinary civilians wrapped in nothing but a few small scraps of tinfoil rushed to the epicenter of the room. Cat Noir pulled out his baton and looked behind him. "Everyone! Go out and hide! We'll take care of this!"

The black cat made his baton into two _sai_ and began plowing through the plethora of minions. While they were able to go down, especially, _especially_ Cartman, it wasn't an easy job. Butters may have been a total naïve doofus, but he knew that a tank and two kids with karate and boxing knowledge would make worthy options. But at least they didn't have Ladybug fighting on their side.

Mysterion sighed. Another pointless fight that would probably get taken care of with pointless _deux en machines_ and goody superpowers. What a way to spend the night. He got on top of one of the bookshelves and jumped into the Professor's back, attempting to find whatever had the butterfly in it. This caused the villain to look like a dog trying to get rid of a tick.

"Get his other arm!" Mysterion pleaded.

She responded by chucking her yo-yo and tying it around the arm that wasn't currently exploring the places that it didn't really need to. But when he finally got a hold of Mysterion, he picked him up by the leg and flung him onto the other side of the room, slamming his back onto the hard wall. Focusing his attention on the mini menace, he flung his arm to the _other_ side of the room.

Mysterion sunk back onto the floor, but dusted himself and got back up. He ran past the knocked out minions and towards Ladybug. "I think whatever's making him batshit insane isn't on him. Have you ever had a villain get akumatized by something out of reach?"

Cat Noir was sandwiched between Token and a young woman who happened to be in Butters' period-worthy rampage. "Dark Owl's computer that one time, but that was it."

"I think that might be something to consider-" But before he could finish his sentence, Butters zapped the two in what looked like a different beam of lightning compared to his minion maker. It must've been lightning, judging from the screams of Ladybug and Mysterion.

 _"Ah, fuck! It fucking hurts!"_ He curled in pain, but looked calm. Like this happened. As he screamed with Ladybug, the two began to fade from the room, turning almost invisible.

Cat Noir looked to see his bugaboo and the only person in the city who could fight Professer Chaos start to cease. "Ladybug! Mysterion!" He tried to run to them, but was pummeled to the ground by a regained consciousness Cartman and thrown back onto the ground. "NO! NO! NO!"

Alya, who was recording the entire situation, put her phone on the ground and paused whatever she was trying to capture. She herself couldn't even fathom what the hell was going on. Was she going to be the eyewitness of Ladybug and Cat Noir's demise? She couldn't do anything but scream in horror. "Oh my God!"

Kyle and Stan joined the horror party, but weren't mad at Butters, nessecarily but at Cartman. Had the fatass stayed in his place and did nothing to infuriate the fucking city, maybe Kenny wasn't going to fucking die! And they thought Scott Tenorman would be his last dance with total lunacy.

When he was finished, what was left of the two was nothing but smoke, similar to what had happened when he first barged in. Damn. Maybe Butters was the big threat they had warned about. Maybe they should've taken someone in a latex cat costume seriously.

Stan pointed at Professer Chaos. "Oh my God, you killed Kenny!"

"You bastard!"

He could do nothing but let out another laugh.


	31. Chapter Thirty One

Ladybug opened her eyes, got out of the fetal position she had been in while she was knocked unconscious, and began to look around at her surroundings. Whatever they were, they had a stark contrast to the Agreste mansion, or somehow, Gabriel had time to somehow transport his whole house into outer space, brick up all the windows and replace the floors with hard rock.

"What the...?" Ladybug got off the floor and shook her pigtails, watching as dust flew away.

But there was another stark question on the back of her mind: Was this what heaven looked like? That could be the case, considering not even a few minutes ago she was blown to pieces by Professer Chaos's hammer. But that didn't even make any sense. She didn't _feel_ dead, but no one really knows what being dead feels like. Not anyone she knew.

"Let me guess. You're in the 'I just fucking died, how am I still alive?' mindset?" She turned around. It was just Mysterion, and he didn't even laugh at his own joke. "Welcome to the club, cowboy."

Ladybug stopped in confusion. "You... say that like this has happened more than once or something?"

Mysterion kept walking away and didn't seem to bother answering any questions. "Don't think too much about it, you'll forget about it after anything happens. Just focus on getting a way to get out of this shithole."

She scraped the floor with her foot, with more purple dust flying around contrasting with the brighter sky. "There's no way we're going to get out of this place. We're basically in outer space!"

 _"No, you're not!"_ The clouds in the sky began to take shape into the head of Professer Chaos. How generous. _"You may not be in space, but there isn't any way you'll get out of the Chaos Dimension!"_ He cracked a roar of laughter.

"Chaos Dimension? The hell? I thought you had electromagnetic powers, Butters!" Mysterion yelled. "You can't be making shit up like Cartman!"

"Why are you telling him his powers?"

"It's _Butters_ , he's not even going to listen to what I'm saying! He doesn't even know what _electromagnetic_ even means!"

Like expected, Butters wasn't tuned into the conversation. _While you two will be rotting in eternity in my personal trash dimension, all of your little friends will be killed and Paris and the world will be mine!"_ He kept laughing. _"So get comfortable, because there's going to be no way out!"_ The clouds dispersed.

Ladybug grunted. "Great! Now we're going to be stuck here while your friend goes around with his goons, terrorizing all of Paris and hurting Adrien while he's at it while you remind him of his capabilities. Why did we even bother to trust you?"

"You didn't have to trust me, but you still did anyways!" He sighed. "This is whole fucking reason I don't work with anyone, because everyone has to get so goddamn sentimental when not everyone agrees with them! _This_ was a special exception!"

"And what a high honor it is being stuck here while our friends are in danger."

Mysterion rolled his eyes, and turned back to Ladybug. "The only real problem is that you're taking Professer Chaos too seriously!

When I told him what he had to do, he barely even tuned in. He's probably swinging his hammer around while Cat Noir is knocking him out with a loaf of bread. As long as he doesn't get over himself, he's not much of a threat."

He looked down. "And he just thinks we're trapped. I have a way to get out of here."

Ladybug's eyes widened. "Does this have something with you... dying?"

"Oh, uh, no-" He sighed, and seem like he was thinking of whether he should speak the truth or keep on with the lying charade. Both didn't matter, she'd forget like everyone else. "Okay, if you really want to fucking know. I... I have superpowers, too. But they're not like yours or even Chat's."

It took him four words, but it felt like taking off a ton of weight. But so did every time he had to retell the tale. "I can't fucking die."

"So you're immortal? That's your ability?" Ladybug hypothesized.

"Basically. I've been stabbed, shot, decaptiated, hung, poisoned, quartered, dragged, crushed, killed in any way possible. And it feels absolutely fucking terrible, like I'm sure death does. But I would know, because right after everything happens, I wake back up like nothing happened, and so does everyone else."

"What does that even mean?"

"When I die, everyone's memories of the past events are basically rewritten, but I can't control that aspect. So if I die right now, I'll come back. But you'll just think I was with Cat Noir and everyone else the whole time."

There was a long period of silence after he was finished explaining, but that wasn't awkward at all. After all, it's not that easy to process the fact that someone in a wannabe Batman costume was actually leagues above him in ability. "So, you can't die? That's why you work so hard to protect all of South Park when you have no Miraculous?"

"Precisely."

"I can't really wrap my head around it, but I believe you. But we don't really have anything here that could take you out except for some purple space dust. Unless..."

She took out her yo-yo, and began to swing it around. "Lucky Charm!" A pattern of red ladybugs flew into the purple air, and a ladybug-spotted kitchen knife fell out onto the floor. She hesitatingly picked it up. "Is stabbing okay?" Her hands shook as she held it up towards him.

"Don't be worried. You'll forget this even happened." He took a deep breath, and stepped back, placing the tip of the knife directly over his upper chest. He stared at his reflection on the metal sheen. He gulped, took another deep breath, and quickly pierced it though his chest, collapsing onto his knees.


	32. Chapter Thirty Two

_Meanwhile..._

"Ha, ha, ha!" Professor Chaos had reappeared out of the Chaos Dimension where the rest of the group was unaware that Ladybug and Mysterion had been imprisoned, and laughed. "Now that I have taken care of Ladybug and Mysterion for Hawkmoth once and for all, Paris will be mine and Hawkmoth's forever! And there's nothing any of you can do about it!"

Then, the same butterfly pattern reappeared onto his face. _"No, no! You weren't supposed to kill Ladybug! You were supposed to take her Miraculous while she was stuck in the Chaos Dimension, not kill her and her lackey! What were you thinking?"_

"Huh? Well, sir, I thought-"

 _"How come everytime I akumatize someone, they always turn their back on me? Well, if you want to keep your powers, stop playing these stupid games and get the Miraculouses!"_ The pattern disappeared, with Butters well aware of his new plans. He looked down at Chat. "Well, I can bring back your friends, but for a price. You'll have to give up that Miraculous of yours if you ever want to see their faces again!"

From the group, however, Cartman walked out ripping off the shitty tin-foil and taking off the hat that came with the costume. "Oh, shut the fuck up, Butters! Kenny dies all of the fucking time, it's not like you actually got rid of him in your sex dungeon!" He walked towards Stan and Kyle, who were both quite confused by the revelation. "If anything, Butters should've trapped your Jew ass in there so I never have to see your ugly face ever again!"

"Shut the hell up, Cartman!" Kyle countered.

"Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!"

Stan walked closer to Cartman. "Don't scream out that Kenny's Mysterion either, you tub of lard. I don't want him beating the shit out of any of us because you just had to turn the attention back to yourself!"

"It seems that you aren't willing to give up the Miraculous! Well them, if you don't want to save your friends then you have no choice but to join them!" And with that, he lifted up his ripoff-Mjolnir and struck it onto the ground, releasing a powerful earthquake so strong that deep cracks began to form on the surface as the ground started quivering. The discs and books that were on the bookshelves above them began to fall, making the whole room from top to bottom a severe safety hazard. Cartman began to cover himself, grabbing Kyle and using him as a human shield. "Butters, take this sacrifice instead of killing us all! Appease the _Führer_!"

Kyle began to shake out of his grasp. "Cartman, what the fuck? Let go of me!"

"None of us are going to fucking die because of Butters because we all at least have dignity. Jews, on the other hand, do not have any dignity whatsoever!" The fatass began to tighten his grip. "Just take him out already, goddamnit!"

Suddenly, Cartman was pummeled to the ground instead, letting Kyle go. Alya had situated herself perfectly behind Cartman in order to give the perfect blow. "Get away from Kyle, you Chloé wannabe!" She bent down and picked Kyle back up from the ground, despite the fact that if she even tried, they would most likely fall again due to the tremors ripping loose on the ground. "Seriously, if you want any advice from me, you should totally ditch him. His personality is just total BS!"

A disc fell out of one of the DVD cases, and began to fall towards Alya. But before it could make any impact, Cat Noir jumoed from the other side of the room and grabbed it. "This isn't a safe place for anyone to be in! We're going to have to get out of here before anyone gets hurt!"

"You could say that again. We have to calm him down before Hawkmoth can turn him batshit insane!" Stan began to look around the room. "Do you have a guitar or something?"

"A _what?_ Are you out of your mind? Dude, the akuma isn't gonna go away by you singing some concerto!" Nino countered.

"It's the only choice we have, unless you want to call his Dad and make him ground him!"

Kyle then pulled his phone out of his pocket, scrolled through the conctacts until he found the phone number for Leiopold Stotch. "That's probably a better idea than whatever you think is gonna work on him!"

Then, before he could tap on the button to make the call, his phone began to vibrate. Kenny was trying to call him from wherever then hell he was. "The fuck? Where the hell if he anyways?" He picked it up.

"Hey, smartass! Where the hell are you?"

He sighed on the other line. _"It doesn't fucking matter! Get to the fucking hotel right now, you tryhard hackerman! The akuma's in_ _that damn computer they were using!"_

"What the hell are you talking about!"

"I said, the akuma is in one of the fucking computers that Cartman and Butters were using!" He abruptly hung up.

"He's so fucking delusional yet he isn't even here to actually help us! He's telling us that the damn akuma is in one of the computers!"

Cat Noir ran to one of the closets nearby and threw a guitar into Stan's arms. "Someone is going to have to distract him so he doesn't follow us back to the computers. If someone here knows how to sing, that would be great!"

Stan smirked. "I told you my idea was good," He then walked up to Butters and strummed a chord, diverting his attention from destroying the mansion. "Butters, you dint know what you're doing, so I'm going to help you calm down, okay?" He strummed another chord. "Lu Lu Lu! I've got some apples..."

"Lu Lu Lu! You got some too!" The blonde began to clap and giggle around with the music, turning his body away from the door. "Lu Lu Lu! Let's get together! I know what we can do!"

As he sang along with Stan, the rest of the group bolted straight for the door. "I just hope that Ladybug got out too," Cat Noir wondered anxiously to himself.

"Oh, don't worry Kitty Cat! Ladybug can handle herself! I bet she got out earlier than Mysterion! She'll be here soon," Alya reassured him, but her tone soon became grim. "If she isn't dead."


	33. Chapter Thirty Three

While the rest of the group had already left the mansion at this point, Professor Chaos was maniacally clapping his hands to the music coming out of Stan's guitar and twirling around in the air, not paying attention to his main goal and to all of the Chaos Minions below him, looking at each other confused about the situation that was in front of him. Even those brain-dead zombies of his knew that there was something up with their master.

It seemed that Mysterion was right, as it only took a normal kid with a guitar from stopping him in his rampage.

Hawkmoth, on the other hand, was facepalming and grunting to himself, storming around the small lair in frustration because of what had happened. The same butterfly pattern flashed over his face for the record third time. "No, no, no! What are you doing? How are you getting distracted like this so easily? Where are my miraculouses?"

"B-but it's good music-"

"That doesn't matter! You've gotten so far and taken out Ladybug and Mysterion just to get distracted by _music_? Get back to your senses and _get me the Miraculouses! O_ r else I'll take away your powers for good!" After he was finished, the butterfly went away and Professor Chaos was snapped back into his senses. "Ha, ha, ha! You thought feeble peasant music would distract me-" He then scanned the room, looking for his opponent, Cat Noir. He was nowhere to be found. Stan's plan had worked! "Hey, where's that black cat?"

Stan dropped the guitar and let it hang from his shoulders from the strap, and shrugged. "The bathroom?"

"It doesn't matter? You will now become one of my Chaos Minions, you fool!" He picked up his hammer from the ground, swung it around as if it would swing him into the air, making himself look like a Thor wannabe, and pointed it right at Stan. However, he was able to put the guitar right in front of him before it could reach him, covering the instrument in tin foil and what looked like terrible black Sharpie marker instead of Stan himself. Dumbfounded, Professor Chaos grunted and pointed his finger right at him. "This is of no use! Chaos Minions, _attack!_ "

Stan sighed. "Fuck." He then dropped the useless guitar onto the floor, bolting straight for the doors, Professor Chaos, and his minions right on his tracks. He was hoping that they get rid of that akuma soon, or else he'd be dead.

 _Meanwhile..._

"Thanks for not taking the time to put on your costume but not actually help us, dumbass," Kyle grunted as he sat down on the computer chair. "You do know that this wouldn't have happened if you didn't have your head up your ass and actually did something, right?"

Mysterion, who had changed into his costume around the same time that they were getting to the hotel, sighed. He wasn't angry at Kyle for being a little bitch, but at the same time, he was pretty angry at Kyle for being a little bitch all the time. It wasn't a surprise that people would be mad at him for not doing anything like he said to Ladybug at the Chaos Dimension, they'd forget everything a few minutes after everything happened. That was a good thing for some reasons, like Ladybug not freaking out about seeing a teammate stab themselves in some stupid space world made up by a classmate, but when the current situation needs an urgent explaining, people lambasting at him is the last thing he wanted. "Whatever, at least I'm fucking here."

"So you're saying that the akuma's not in the computer, but in the screen?" Alya questioned. "That wouldn't make any sense!"

"I think so. The computer doesn't look like it's entirely corrupted, but I'm guessing that's where his stupid dimension thing is that's holding Ladybug. Be careful, because if you destroy the computer, you'll destroy Ladybug for good."

"Way to set the tone. Are you always dark and gritty like that?"

Kyle took his hands off the keyboard. "I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do. It's not the screen, it's the computer in a whole. I don't know what you were talking about with the screen," he pointed at the computer, where the screen was in purple. "It's all fucked up! It has to be in there!"

Kyle was right. The screen was pure purple, while the border of the screen, which would've usually been grey was completely black with small shades of purple. While the keyboard and mouse where largely unaffected, there will still specks of black on them. When he opened the cabinet holding the actual computer, it looked worse than the screen, shooting out small beams of purple light while caked in black stone. That had to be where the akuma was hiding.

Mysterion walked over to the computer, and analyzed it. "Did you try turning the thing on?"

"The thing _is_ on!" Then, Kyle turned back to the computer. "Wait a minute, something's happening. I think it's actually turning on this time!"

The screen flashed from the original bright purple to the same shades of purple form the Chaos Dimension, but as a normal computer desktop. Where credit had to be given, Butters was at least a little creative in some aspects. In the left corner of the screen, there was a file labelled LADYBUG.exe.

"That might be her!" Alya pointed towards it. "But LB, on a computer? Never seen that before!"

Cat Noir, who was standing nearby, looked over at Kyle. "Could you try to get her out of there? I really don't want to lose her to this."

Then, out of nowhere, Stan broke through the door. "Butters is fucking coming again! He knows where we are!"

Cartman snorted. "Because you're dumbass had to lead him to us again using that stupid guitar, right? Goddamn, you're actually retarded!"

"Shut up, fatass! You'd probably do the same thing!"


	34. Chapter Thirty Four

A crack of thunder was heard in the distance.

"Oh, shut the fuck up, Stan!" Cartman snorted. You're the one who said that you had everything under control when you grabbed that bullshit fucking guitar and pretended you were that Bieber twink! You should've just followed us!"

"My fault? I'm not the one who made fun of Butters with your stupid side bitch and pushed him to his breaking point! And now your saying that all of this is _my fault_? Are you out of your mind?" Stan countered back almost instantaneously.

The cracks of thunder became louder at each second. The ground began to tremble intensively as beams of light shot through the windows. They were definitely in trouble.

"Oh, look here! Stan's being such the little badass!" The brunette sarcastically retorted. "What are you gonna do, shove a guitar up my ass and sing to me? God, you're pathetic!"

"Guys, stop this!" The two diverted their attention towards Cat Noir, who had slammed his baton onto the ground. "You guys have to calm down before anyone else goes under Hawkmoth's control and makes this situation even worse than it already is. If Professer Chaos comes here, we can take him on before Ladybug can come back. We already know where the akuma is hiding."

Stan sighed, and walked towards where Kyle was sitting. Cartman on the other hand, who was clearly looking defeated, let out a cocky sneer and crossed his arms, looking away from the crowd. They may have solved this conflict, but three was another bigger battle to be taken care of.

"I just hope Ladybug gets out of there before shit really hits the fan," Mysterion mumbled.

"I agree."

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning struck the door sending it into complete ash and smoke. Through the hole left from the explosion, Professer Chaos flew in holding his hammer as his minions followed beneath him like they had when they first reached the Agreste mansion. Except this time, he was angrier than before.

"Get away from the computer!" He released a bolt of energy from his hammer, almost frying Kyle, Alya, Nino and Stan to a crisp. Of course, being Butters meant he missed. By a couple hundred feet. "You won't get a hold of my power!"

"Striking the ground isn't gonna do anything, dumbass!" Cartman yelled out.

"Shut your mouth, fiend!" He released another bolt of energy, also missing by a hundred feet but powerful enough to send the fatass onto the floor, causing him to throw a giant temper tantrum.

"THAT FUCKING DOES IT! YOU TWO DUMBASSES BETTER TAKE THAT MOTHERFUCKER OUT!" Cartman rolled around on the floor, wailing his arms around. Kyle attempted to hold in his laughter, but a few chuckles came out of the marvelous soft.

Cat Noir rolled his eyes. "How do you deal with that guy on a daily basis?"

Mysterion sighed. "You get used to it."

The two then leaped from the unstable ground and worked their way behind him. Perfect, as his reflexes were too weak to even turn his body the exact moment one of them made a loud footstep despite the fact that he was at peak performance. Mysterion signaled for his partner to come closer, pointed at the hammer and made a breaking motion. If the akuma wasn't in that, they would surely weaken him greatly without it.

Cat Noir nodded, climbed up his cape and raised his palm into the air once he good a good grasp of his arm despite the villain trying to shake him off. "Cataclysm!"

He then forced his way to the hammer, turning the once mighty weapon into a pathetic black pile of dust. It was too easy, but at the same time, this was expected from the same kid who probably still has a bedtime. Cat Noir turned to Mysterion and flashed a thumbs up. However, Professer Chaos angrily flicked him off.

"What have you done?" He flew down, releasing a catastrophic tremble as he hit the ground and picked up the ashes that were scattered across the floor. "How dare you destroy the Hammer of Chaos! You will pay! Chaos Minions, attack!"

The minions responded to their master perfectly, ganging up onto the two. Mysterion kicked his way through the crowd, beating up minions left and right while Cat Noir swirled his baton around, making a clean sweep and forming a path. Meanwhile, Kyle was about to make the finishing touches on freeing Ladybug from the Chaos Dimension. He backed up the chair from the computer.

"Get back!"

The screen then turned into pure white, causing everyone around it to close their eyes and put their arms in front of them trying to block the light. A rainbow beam of light exploded out of the webcam, forming a familiar figure out of the light. Once a form was created, the beam went away, and Ladybug was back in action, swinging her yo-yo around. "Now _that_ was a little vacation that I needed!"

She threw it at Professer Chaos's arm, slamming him back to the ground, sending the Chaos Minions around him to the floor alongside him. She then ran up towards Mysterion and Cat Noir. "Looks like you really didn't need me this time around," she giggled sarcastically.

"He's already weak. The akuma is in the computer!" Mysterion pointed towards the computer that she had just emerged out of. "We'll handle the Chaos Minions!"

She then threw her yo-yo at the computer monitor, breaking it completely in half and sending out an akuma. "No more evilizing for you, little akuma!"

She tapped her yo-yo, which then began to glow into a light pink. "Time to de-evilize!" She threw it at the fluttering butterfly, which was purified. She then opened the yo-yo again, letting go a white butterfly. "Bye bye, little butterfly!"

She made a face of confusion, but was surprised when Mysterion handed her the knife from before which she confusingly threw in the air. "Miraculous Ladybug!"

A stream of ladybugs flew throughout the sky, and the world changed around them. The computers were completely repaired and changed back to their normal colors, the damage in Adrien's room was also changed back to what it used to be while the Chaos Minions were free from their brainwashing, many of them standing confused on why they'd be in the residence of Andrè Bourgeois.

Craig shook his head and looked for Tweak. "What the hell?"

Meanwhile, Butters detransfroemd and laid in between the commotion of confused townspeople. Mysterion ran up to him and helped him up onto the ground. "That was pretty impressive, Butters."

He looked up into Mysteeion's masked eyes. "R-really?"

The vigilante smiled. "No."

Cat Noir shrugged. "Who knew a kitten like this could make up a _cat-_ tastrophe like this!"


	35. Chapter Thirty Five

_Later, at Marinette's Room_

Ladybug jumped through one of the windows and de-transformed, sending Tikki out of the earings and Marinette back to her civilian form. Once released, the spotted kwami had a million things to ask about the situation. "I can't believe you were able to go through a situation like that, Marinette! Lucky Charm rarely forms into actual weapons that could be used in combat."

"Yeah, I was wondering about that knife," Marinette replied, "But what situation are you talking about? You look really concerned about that."

Tikki cleared her voice. "Marinette, do you not remember? You helped stab Mysterion in the chest to free him from the Chaos Dimension!"

Marinette couldn't find any words to say and came out sounding like something was blocking her throat until she could fumble a few words. "Me? Stab Mysterion? Are you crazy? Why on Earth would I try to kill someone?"

The kwami sighed. It looked like she had a lot of explaining to do that night, and she hoped she could clear things up before it was too late. "Marinette, you weren't the one who _killed_ Mysterion, you just handed him the knife that he used himself to stab him in the chest. But seeing that you're confused about your own actions, I believe that whatever powers Mysterion has wiped the memories of the last five minutes he was alive for everyone around him, including you."

"Than how would _you_ know what happened?" Marinette countered.

"Because kwamis are unaffected by any superhuman abilities when they are in the Miraculouses, so Mysterion's memory erasure abilities wouldn't do anything to me. I remember everything that's happened in all of your and Cat Noir's battles since you began being Ladybug."

"Wait, but if he killed himself in the Chaos Dimension then how on Earth was he able to go back to the hotel and help Cat Noir? That wouldn't make any sense! He'd be dead, wouldn't he? Unless he's... immortal." The word rolled out of her tongue like a sweet piece of candy but one that was bitter at the same time. She may have been powered up by literal gods older than the universe itself, but an immortal? That just crossed the line. That would the same as a unicorn just prowling around the Paris Zoo like nothing strange had happened.

Tikki didn't have to say anything else to confirm Marinette's answer. "In all of my time here on Earth, I've never seen an immortal that wasn't a god or another kwami, especially one this young. Most immortals can be thousands to millions years old!"

"That must be a horrible power, to live forever. I mean, it sounds exciting to live forever but imagine watching all of your friends die."

"That's why most immortals stay distant from mortals like you," Tikki flew closer to Marinette in an attempt to comfort her, "but us kwamis have chosen to use our abilities for good by helping those who have good and fair hearts. I wouldn't doubt for a second that Mysterion is the same, as much as he is a dirty fighter."

 _Meanwhile..._

Cartman laughed maniacally as he walked into the hotel room. "Fucking damn, Kenny! You beat Butters' ass in front of _everybody_! That was so fucking awesome, dude!" As usual, he was kissing Kenny's ass as much as he could despite talking shit about him only a few moments ago.

"Didn't you say a few hours ago that I was too pathetic for you?" Kenny smirked.

Cartman ignored his comment and jumped onto the bed. "Whatever, dude! That was still so fucking awesome! You have to beat another person's ass just once more time before we leave this shithole!"

While everyone was taking Kenny's abilities for granted, he sighed. He actually did not enjoy having pure immortality and amazing regeneration that rivaled that of Ladybug and Cat Noir, but that was another sob-story that could be saved for another time. What could be said, however, was that to him, his powers were less of a blessing and more of a curse. Something that he wouldn't even wish in his worst enemy.

Speaking of Ladybug and Cat Noir, what the hell gave them _their_ powers? He knew that it wasn't going to be another Batman situation where they just threw on spandex and called it a day. No fucking spandex could just make anything out of will which could be used to fix the situation at hand, and no fucking spandex could just turn something into black dust with the touch of a hand. He may have repeated these sentences in his head sometime, but it didn't matter, they must've had powers, but unlike his, ones that they could actually _control_ by just saying a fucking word when they needed to. He wish he had to ability to do the same thing, altering anyone's memory anytime he wanted ar will would be awesome, but he had to settle with making people believe he never died in the first place no matter how many times he's tried explaining over and over and over again what really happened.

"Hey, dumbass, stop staring at us like that. It's creeping me out," Cartman, who was clutching onto the TV remote for what looked like dear mercy from Kyle and Stan, had broken Kenny's train of thought. He sighed and walked towards them.

For some reason, they were still on the news as a picture of Mysterion flashed to the same news anchor from when he fought Evillustrator. Cartman made gagging noises. "Goddamnit, when are they going to stop fucking trusting those goddamn gingers with the news?"

 _"Yet again, Paris's Ladybug and Cat Noir have stopped another akuma attack from causing more damage to the Hôtel Grand Paris in the twenty-first Arrondissement!"_ the woman announced as a clip of the three heros fighting Professer Chaos played over her voice. _"The mysterious hero Mysterion was also at the hotel providing help to the two heroes as civilians were reported to be mind-controlled by the villain!"_

Kenny smirked. "Damn, I'm an international star already and I haven't even done any dirty work."

 _"Rumors have swept all over Paris that Mysterion's real identity may be a secret within a group of students visiting École Françoise DuPont from South Park High Schook, but some have even gone far as to claim it is world-famous model Adrien Agreste! However, we have not received word from his father whether these allegations are true or not."_

Hearing the name of their high scuool Kyle spat out the water that he was drinking out of a cup while Stan blanked out in surprise. Cartman snorted at hearing Adrien's name being correlated to Mysterion. "They actually listen to Alya? Damn, are these people actually retarded?"

"They're not retarded if they know Mysterion could be one of us. The Adrien thing was probably just a rumor started by one of his stupid fangirls in order to give him more attention and Alya carries on with it," Stan countered. "Besides, Adrien wasn't even there during most of the fight. Or any of them, from what I can remember. They have a reason to think that."

"Which means..." Kyle added to the never ending juvenile conspiracy theory by pulling out his phone and showing the other three boys a photoshoot of Adrien, and then swiping to a heavily edited on that just looked like someone had colored over it in black. "He's Cat Noir. He couldn't be Mysterion since Kenny already is, and Adrien sort of looks like him but that's just a stupid thought of mine. Alya was talking about it when i was in her house so I'm guessing it's another one of her stupid theories."

Kenny, on the other hand, looked at the two photos with a serious demeanor. "Swipe back and forth."

Kyle looked in confusion but did so anyways. Same hair color, same green eyes, same skin tone, maybe even the same hairstyle if you roughed around the edges. The fact that he looked like Cat Noir seemed too good to be true, maybe even a strange coincidence. But considering that it was the same peoson who thought Adrien was also Mysterion, this could've also been a massive stretch.

Kenny sighed quietly again. "You're right. I don't know what the hell I was getting at."


	36. Chapter Thirty Six

**Friday**

 _Miss. Bustier's classroom, Collége Françoise DuPont_

"Just one more day and we're out of this fucking shithole!" Cartman gleamed as he walked towards the familiar classroom. "I've been more excited about leaving this goddamn place than I was coming here!"

It had seemed that throughout the entire week, Cartman was the most excited about returning home, probably because the fatass had not made any friends unlike his three peers unless you counted Chloe. But Cartman had never seen her as an equal, just a whiny brat with leverage over all the other pathetic whiny brats at this school that he so desperately latched onto in order to look threatening. Which, like the rest of his stupid schemes, didn't work out in the end. Even Kenny made a friend out of Nathaniel, who had threatened to butcher him into pieces during the beginning of the trip.

"I don't know about you, but I thought that it was pretty fun," Stan countered, sending a shockwave of ideas to Cartman's head that he could use to embarrass the shit out of him in front of the small quartet.

Cartman smirked. "Because you and Adrien needed a fucking room half the time you even made eye contact with him."

"At least he actually talked to someone who wasn't a snotty bitch that used him for leverage," Kenny smirked, sending the two other boys into small chuckles and maybe even a small burst of laughter. One of those boys was not Cartman, who seemed like he wasn't phased but was really steaming from the inside. "And what about you, Kenny? Did you give Marinette a hot Cosby while you were at her house a few days ago? I'm guessing she didn't because who the fuck would want to blow a poor hick like you?"

"Shut it, you tub of lard! Or else I won't bother trying to save your ass the next time you start squealing like a pig!"

Kyle still quietly chuckled as Kenny was berating Cartman, but stopped and regained his composure. "Jesus Christ, Cartman! Calm down, you're turning into a fucking bull!"

"Are you trying to get roasted too, you fucking Jew?" Cartman took a breath and looked like he was about to unleash five years of wrath onto the entire group, "I'm sorry Kyle, but if I remember this correctly, aren't you the same guy who got his dick hard to some annoying nerd bitch who almost tried to fucking kill us all because you just had to impress her by using your retarded hacking skills, or am I wrong?"

"And then you ask why you weren't invited to my Bar Mitzvah last year!" Kyle's Bar Mitzvah was almost a perfect clone of his party at Casa Bonita a few years back, instead of only a select amount of friends he invited almost all of his class... except for Cartman. However, what caused him to look like a roasted pig more than at Casa Bonita was that the party after was going to be held at the brand new paintball place, somewhere that he was eager to visit. Trying desperately to get into the party, instead of locking Butters in a fallout shelter, he had hatched the perfect plan of disguising himself as one of the workers that monitored the guests and sneaking through at the end. It may have sounded good on paper, but at the last minute, he was caught by one of the actual workers and promptly kicked out.

Cartman surprisingly changed moods and began to laugh at the memory. "You have to admit, though. That was a good plan!"

When they entered the classroom, Chloé was standing cross-armed directly in front of the quartet with Sabrina standing next to her. "Cartman, why did you make Butters get akumatized?" The classroom got quiet as every eye turned to Cartman, piercing him like daggers. She was clearly looking to make herself look like a saint despite being just as involved in the incident.

Fortunately, he was prepared to handle a shitstorm like this. Cartman cleared his throat. "Hmm, I don't know. But Chloé, didn't you tell us that you were only using your best friend just so someone could do your homework?"

Chloé placed her hand near her with a shocked expression etched across her face, looking even closer to the victim she was trying to portray for the class. "Me? Being a horrible friend to my best friend Sabrina? How _dare_ you accuse me of such slander! Are you trying to get me akumatized too?" Kim walked down, his fist in his hand ready to defend his lady from the dishonorable Cartman. Instead of being petrified, he let out a burst of laughter.

"Are you trying to get a fucking hitman on me? What is this, the fucking French Mafia?"

Kenny looked over at Stan and Kyle, then walked up towards Cartman placing his hand on his shoulder. "Cartman, stop. You could seriously get your ass handed to you if you don't stop."

Cartman didn't stop despite Kenny's pleas, in fact, he kept getting at it. He pointed a finger at the three students in front of him. "You didn't answer my question, Bourgeois! Didn't you tell me and Butters that you were using your so-called best friend? That you're just a shallow, heartless bitch that's incapable to actually forming relationships with people?"

Alya, who was standing next to Marinette buried her palm in her face. "They both need to _seriously_ chill. Especially Cartman."

All of a sudden, a familiar sound of potent mouth-breathing could be heard only a few feet out of the door, along with a dramatic marching. Oh, shit. Whatever Cartman fucking did would land _everyone_ in the room into serious trouble. Teacher PC slammed open the door and marched his way to the front of the classroom, causing the students who were standing nearby to back up in confusion. He must've been convincing Mr. Damocles about agreeing to punish so-called "microagressions". He stopped mouth-breathing and cleared his throat. "What the hell is going on here?"

Chloé, who had clearly mentally prepared for this situation began to whimper. "Eric Cartman was bullying me!"

Teacher PC began to tremble in frustration and looked over at Cartman, who was surprisingly confused about what was going on. "Is what this young lady saying true?"

Cartman attempted to counter. "What the fuck, no-"

This didn't deter the blonde, who just kept whimpering and even started to pretend to water her eyes. "Oh, _of course_ , it's true! I was just talking to my best friend Sabrina and all of a sudden this meanie was accusing me of being a fake friend and even called me the B-word! How could you _ever_ think that what he did was not bullying? He even just said the F-word right now!" She turned towards Kim. "Right?" He nodded, which caused the teacher to start trembling even more which caused her to start quietly chuckling to Sabrina.

At this point, his face was tomato red, causing the other boys to back away and scramble up to their seats. Chloé had just unleashed a fucking volcano on the entire class, whether she was aware of it or not. " **ERIC CARTMAN, HOW _DARE_ YOU ATTEMPT TO DEMEAN WOMEN IN THE TWENTY-FIRST FUCKING CENTURY! WHAT'S UP? WHAT'S _FUCKING_ UP WITH THAT, BRO?**"

He turned to the class, who were staring in shock. "You know what? For slandering an innocent young, beautiful woman, I am going to Principal Damocles and he will punish you all with community service, except for this young woman of course!" When he was finished with what he was saying, he opened the door and walked out of the class. Chloé, who was totally satisfied with the ordeal, smirked and walked back to her seat as pretentious and snotty as she could ever be.

Cartman who seemed to be unphased about his punishment rolled his eyes and walked to his seat. "Whatever, community service is less boring than this stupid class anyways."


	37. Chapter Thirty Seven

_Outside of Collége Françoise DuPont_

Under the so-called blistering hot sun of Paris, Cartman yawned and fanned himself by flapping his red hoodie around almost revealing his glorious gut acting as if the French capital ever received desert-like temperatures on a daily basis. When he was finished with his indecent exposure, he wiped his forehead. "Man, all this work is making me _tired_! Don't you guys feel the same?"

Kyle pointed angrily at the empty black garbage bag next to him. "You haven't even picked up any trash, fatass! How the hell are you already tired?"

As Kyle had stated, Teacher PC had somehow had the ability to get his plans through with Principal Damocles despite the fact that he had screamed at possibly every class in the school and the two had decided that the obvious punishment was a round of community service for the class of Miss. Bustier, with them picking up litter surrounding the entire school building while Chloé had the luxury of sitting on a step and browsing on her phone while adding on to the litter with bubblegum wrappers and whatever else was in her pockets.

Cartman laughed. "What? Picking up trash gets sand in your vagina too?" He then pointed to the ground. "While you're at it, maybe you could also find some shekels if you're lucky enough so you're not cranky all day."

"I wouldn't be so smug about it when it's your fatass that got everyone in trouble because you just _had_ to start drama with Chloé on a Friday morning instead of following Craig's advice of ignoring her," Kenny put down his stick and countered. "Is it just too hard for you to keep your fucking trap shut for one minute?"

"Shut up, you fucking hillbilly! You were there and _you_ saw that it wasn't me! It was that snotty bitch that did everything and she got away with it!"

Cartman pointed over at Chloé was was minding her own business entrapped on her own phone when all of a sudden one of their classmates had accidentally bumped into her, not looking where they were stepping. The blonde looked up and quipped maniacally at the girl most likely threatening her with her daddy issues, watching smugly as the girl ran off looking like she was going to explode in crocodile tears.

"Huh," Kyle countered. I like the fact that whenever you're the victim, you demand all of us kiss your ass and do whatever you want but whenever someone else is in trouble, you just laugh along with it and no nothing to stop her."

Stan smirked. "I don't think you're even mad, dude. You're probably jealous that she has more power over us as the mayor's daughter than you could ever dream of having back home. You've already got your ass handed to you multiple times by her."

This did nothing to counter the drama, only sending Cartman on yet another one of his chimp-outs. "What the fuck, dude? Do you really think I'm scared of some bitch who can't even go to school without covering herself in makeup? I've done more things than she could even dream of doing, I could kill her fucking mayor dad and cook him up like I did with that Tenorman's dumbass for all I care!"

Stan chuckled and went back to picking up trash. "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

After a few minutes that seemed treacherous, Cartman began to chuckle to himself, sounding more of a lunatic at first impression than ever. This caused the three around him to stop what they were doing and focus their attention onto him.

"Guys, guys! I have the perfect plan to get rid of that stupid bitch for good!" He announced exuberantly. He shuffled through the giant pocket in front of his hoodie and pulled out a small bright pink bottle so that it's existence would be obvious to the naked eye. Inside we're grounded green spices and shook it between his fingers. "I found these in the kitchen of the hotel while you were all fighting Butters on his man period."

Kyle soon realized what Cartman's scheme would unfold and quickly grabbed the plastic bottle out of his fingers. "Oh, no Cartman. You are _not_ doing that."

"You better not be ruining my plans, you fucking Jew!" He quickly swiped the bottle back from Kyle making sure no one else saw what was going to happen. "Do you want her to keep pissing all of us off? It's about time someone put that damn bitch in her place!"

"Kyle's right. We're all going to get busted if they actually think we had weed on us. I can tell this place has a no-tolerance policy," Stan added. Nonetheless, this did nothing to Cartman. At that point, he had walked away from the group and got closer to the staircases where Chloé was still preoccupied on her phone, her backpack next to her. Quickly, Cartman unzipped the smaller pouch, slipped the small bottle but did not close it back up on purpose before running back to where he had been standing and going back to work as if nothing had happened only a few minutes ago.

Miss. Bustier walked outside and towards the group, gathering everyone around in a circle except for Chloé who was still preoccupied and hadn't noticed her backpack being intruded on. "Principal Damocles thinks that we've all had enough today and that you're punishment had been served."

She looked over at Chloé. "Miss. Bourgeois! We're about to go back in!" She turned her phone off and quickly slung on her backpack causing the small pink bottle to fall onto the floor as Cartman had planned, causing the remnants to spill on the floor on impact. Upon sight of the mess, she shrieked.

The teacher immediately ran over to Chloé and discovered the reefer madness on the floor. The look on her face seemed that it didn't matter that she was the mayor's daughter since she would be getting the punishment of a lifetime. "Chloé, do you know that possession of drugs like these are a serious offense at Collegé Françoise DuPont, or in any school at Paris?"

The blonde gulped in total confusion as Cartman began to chuckle quietly. It looked like the Jew was finally been thwarted. Maybe this would finally be Chloé's downfall?

Then, Principal Damocles walked out of the same door that Miss. Bustier had walked out of. "What is going on here?"

"It seems that Chloé Bourgeois had marijuana in her possession, judging on whatever's gotten on the floor."

Chloé then began to freak out at mass proportions. "M-M-Mister Damocles, there's no way I'd ever have any of those disgusting drugs on me! I swore that I'd ever use them in health class! My daddy would never approve of that!"

"But it seems like these drugs were in your possession. Miss. Bourgeois, you do know that anyone possessing drugs is a serious misdemeanor, no matter who or your parents are? Is that correct?"

She gulped and nodded.

"Very well, miss. I will have to contact your father about this... little incident-" He began to walk towards the door when Adrien bolted from where he was standing and walked up towards the principal. "Stop! Chloé wasn't the one who brought those drugs!"

The principal turned around. "Ah, Mr. Agreste. Who had them then?"

"When I was picking up trash I heard Eric Cartman talking to his friends about how he was going to put them in her backpack to get her in trouble because he was angry at her for saying he was the one who hurt Butters!"

The entire class then turned towards the four boys while Stan, Kyle and Kenny began to back away while Cartman was still laughing enthusiastically. The class sent him snarls of confusion and even disgust. When Cartman soon realized that his friends were nowhere to be seen, he got quieter. The principal walked up towards him, and put his hand on his shoulder. "This was the boy who put the marijuana in Chloé's backpack?"

Adrien nodded. The principal looked back towards him. "And you stated that he was talking about this plan with his friends. Were his friends also involved?" The trio looked at each other but stayed silent.

"No, sir. They were actually trying to stop him from doing it, but it was too late!" It wasn't a shock that Stan's friend would have most likely defended them if the time or the question came, however Kenny had barely said anything to stop Cartman so to him, it was a shock that he even bothered to defend him. But hey, it got him out of Cartman's bullshit.

"Well then, I apologize Miss. Bourgeois. However, you young man will have to face the severe consequence of attempting to get a classmate in trouble," he pulled Cartman alongside him and began to walk towards the principal, while Cartman began to shoot glances of anger at both Adrien and Chloé, who was too shocked about the fact that someone had done that much to even look smugly at him back, and even his friends for attempting to thwart his grand scheme.

"Goddamnit! This would've fucking worked if that stupid blonde twink didn't have to ruin everything!" He began screaming as the door closed behind the two.

 _Meanwhile, at Hawkmoth's lair..._

"How far one will go in order to rid of someone they deeply despise only for their plans to crumble right before their very eyes, only to show the true anger someone has towards their classmates and even close friends."

A butterfly landed on his palm, which he encased releasing dark purple magic onto the butterfly creating an akuma just for Cartman.

As the butterfly flew away, he slammed his cane onto the floor, erupting through the sounds of the butterflies. "Fly away, little akuma. And evilize him!"


	38. Chapter Thirty Eight

_Outside of Mister Damocles's office, Collége Françoise DuPont_

Cartman was keeping a steady pace, nevertheless slouching and mumbling angry to himself the entire walk, surprisingly a walk that seemed to only take thirty seconds at the longest was taking forever this time around. Mister Damocles was in front, looking back to check if he even chose to run away. Then, the two reached the office where the headmaster opened the door for the young boy, who fashioned himself onto the small chair that faced the older man's desk.

"I'll have to retrieve your teacher before we can start discussing your punishment," Mister Damocles walked out of the office, leaving Cartman to himself.

He took the backpack off his shoulder and began fishing through it, taking out a crumpled up piece of paper. Unfolding it, he revealed a crude drawing of what looked like another comic book hero, taking more inspiration from Ladybug and Cat Noir than the more familiar Mysterion with a raccoon look to the character, taking down Mysterion and a large rouge's gallery of familiar faces as the cartoon crowd cheered around them.

He reached for a pencil from the jar next to the principal's computer and began drawing on the paper, adding Ladybug and Cat Noir next to him, who showered him with praises that came out of his ass while the heads of Chloé and Adrien were added alongside the defeated villains. He smiled as he added these changes.

What he didn't realize was that a purple butterfly had flown through the open door and was almost feet away from Cartman. When he blinked, the butterfly had got onto the paper, putting him under Hawkmoth's control with a butterfly mask appearing over his face.

 _"I am Hawkmoth, and I_ _understand that you have some bridges that you are willing to burn, and I would like to help you with that. What I also know is that you are The Coon, the greatest villain in all of South Park." Upon hearing the news, Cartman began to let out a small smirk. Finally, powers that could rival Mysterion's and take him out of the spotlight once and for all. And maybe even ruin that bitch's reputation._

"Ah, hell yes, dude! Fucking finally! Someone recognizes my life's work!" Cartman gleamed forgetting this was the same man who had driven Butters into becoming a Magneto wannabe.

Hawkmoth carried on despite being confused on how he was somehow bstill rather positive. _"I'll give you powers that will help you carry out your plans for Paris once and for all, but with great power comes with great responsibility..."_

Hearing the news, Cartman got a little excited but was beginning to get impatient with Hawkmoth's monologue. "Just cut the crap already and give me my fucking powers!"

 _"Give me the Miraculouses of Ladybug and Cat Noir, and perhaps I'll seal your powers for good if you have been a good accomplice. Is that a deal?"_

He raised his eyebrows. Free powers? Tormenting Kyle for the rest of his life for good? Getting rid of Mysterion forever? Kicking Chloé out of Paris? "When do I get started?"

A dark purple clouded him, turning him into the familiar cartoon character from the picture as if he was ripped off of the paper. He began to marvel in his appearance, retracting the claws from the tips of fingers a-la Wolverine. "Damn, you made them like Wolverine's claws? This is so fucking awesome!" He looked out of the door behind him, and smirked.

Minutes later, Mister Damocles was walking next to Teacher PC. "You see, Eric Cartman has had a history with other students from what I've heard, he needs to be dealt with accordingly so this does not occur again-" He walked into the office, not finding Cartman but claw marks all of the chairs releasing the foam everywhere, papers shredded at every corner and the metal cabinets all on the ground. What was left of the student was his backpack, which was still laying on the floor as it had before he became the Coon.

The two then became silent, looking at one another in confusion. "What the hell?"

But before either could do anything, the door shut behind them leaving the two along with the aggressor behind them, who then pounced onto the two knocking them out before anyone could flinch or fight back.

 _Meanwhile... in Miss Bustier's classroom_

Miss. Bustier placed a stack of books onto her desk, and rested her arm on them as she leaned near the desk. "Since we only have a short amount of time until your next class, I've decided that during the remainder of time we should read and analyze a classic amongst French literature: Cinderella, or as known in French, _Cendrillon!"_

Most of the class seemed excited about hearing that they wouldn't have to do anything that actually required effort except for occasionally flipping the pages of the small book, especially the girl in pinkwho gushed about Kenny and Marinette's project. "I _love_ fairy tales! The prince always comes to save the day for the princess!"

However Stan, Kyle and Kenny just sighed in disappointment. Kenny looked over at the two. "This already sounds fucking gay. They should've just left us picking up crap outside."

"Is this what they do in this class all day?" Stan asked.

"We need two students to help pass out books. Does anyone want to help volunteer-" Before anyone could raise their hands, the speakers began to unexpectedly release static. Miss. Bustier turned to look at them. "That's odd, these haven't been used in years."

The static then cut to a familiar voice clearing his throat right next to the microphone, which soon turned into coughing. _"Damn, how much dust is on this fucking microphone?"_ The man on the other side then sighed. _"Whatever."_

 _"Listen up, you douchebags, or this school is going to get fucking decimated by The Coon and Hawkmoth! I've got both your principals tied up in his office and I won't be afraid to use lethal force on your asses unless I get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculouses, or preferably, Mysterion's head on a platter! Do you understand?"_ The speaker than cut back to static before completely cutting out. The whole class began to look at each other in confusion and even fear while in clear contrast the three boys just started to get angry.

Kyle rolled his eyes. "Cartman's already got his fatass in deep shit. Whatever he's doing now will just fuck him in the ass later."

Stan then looked at Kenny, who seemed to quickly understand what he was about to say. Before he could say anything, Kenny sighed. "Am I ever going to get a fucking break here?" He then threw his backpack onto the floor, began rummaging through it until he could find that familiar purple costume and immediately dashed outside of the classroom before the teacher or any other classmates could notice.


	39. UPDATE - 12118

**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**

* * *

 **Wow! I'm still surprised people are reading this despite the fact that I haven't even updated this since the end of the last school year (LOL) but I've decided to post an author's note to anyone wondering what the hell was going on. I've since lost interest in continuing Le Ascension de Mysterion reading it now, there are many things I wrote that I just don't like looking back now (there is no way French kids stay in the same class for the entire day, and all those action scenes were so cringy and rushed -_-) and for me fixing it would have to be rebooting the whole story. I'm sorry for leaving you guys in the dark (especially on a cliffhanger like that) but I felt like continuing this story was more of a chore than a passion project, and I just felt pooped posting a chapter a day. I have a shit ton of respect for Matt and Trey for being able to make a whole _episode_ in** **a week.**

 **I may continue the story in the future, but I can't promise anything. I'm more interested in doing a soft reboot like removing all those fucking characters and actually having some sort of direction in the story, but I don't think I'll be posting that anytime soon.**

 **Anyways, thank you guys for still sticking around. I'd be annoyed too if a story I liked wasn't being updated in _seven months._ I thought the hiatus I was taking would only last a month at most, I guess I was just carried away with other stuff (ha ha). That's why I don't post fanfiction in general, once I lose interest I just lose my drive in continuing. **

**\- Usarosuji**

* * *

 **UPDATE 12/2/2018: Just posted the new rebooted story! Go check it out! It's Le Ascension de Mysterion: Electric Coon-galoo!**


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